So Josh McDaniels was never going to join the Colts. It’s a conspiracy. Hear me out.

So Billy 5 aces senses that this particular Patriots team isn’t as strong as previous teams. They have a bad defense, a wounded and injured offense, and have played a weak schedule. There is a chance they might actually lose. So he sends his loyal troll sidekick to Indy, his most hated of teams, to pretend to be interested. McDaniels earns the trust of the Colts. Signs a verbal agreement. Gets a coaching staff lined up. However, he’s only there so that if the Patriots lose, Billy can quickly “change his mind” and cause a huge uproar. Everyone gets mad at Josh McDaniels. Everyone gets concerned about the Colts. And just like that, within one day…Nobody is talking about how the Patriots lost anymore. It’s been forgotten for this new juicy news in which the Colts have been screwed. Genius.

It certainly screwed me over. I had a comic half-made about dunking on the Pats one last time before I go quiet on them. Now I’ll have to finish it and put it on on Saturday, which I said I wasn’t gonna do, making me a liar within one comic AND making that joke feel a bit outdated. Thanks a lot Billy. You brilliant asshole.

Jokes aside this was a hell of a whopper and I had to get this comic done because there is a good chance it’s outdated by the weekend. I assume the Colts will find a replacement soon enough. It won’t be good though. This is a hell of a mess though and McDaniels for sure screwed the Colts for 2018.

I assume McDouchey Face was promised the key to New England because there’s no other explanation for how he’d be willing to completely tank his own reputation again after spending so long rebuilding it. No other team is going to touch McDaniels now. He’s a Pat for life. All these years we were willing to accept that maybe the Broncos tenure was just a mistake, an early learning process. Now it seems like he’s still been a douche all along.

McDaniels was completely within his right to do what he did but man was it unprofessional and boy did it reflect badly on him. I don’t think the mind changing bothers me too much. What bothers me is the people he screwed in the process. The people he hired, who left other jobs to work for him in Indy, now left stranded in the Colts with no boss. Irsay and Ballard have graciously offered to keep them employed (good for them) but of course that’s also a problem. Now whoever the Colts hire will have to work with these new coaches instead of bringing in their own guys, making it likely there might be some incompatibility. Also, this makes the Colts job very unappealing to wanna be coaches. Do you want a job with a team you can’t change already in place, when you already know you weren’t the first choice? That the team didn’t want you until they had to settle?

In the short term the Colts are totally screwed. In the long term it might be okay, because McDaniels seems like a dickweed and will hopefully get tanked once he is given the keys but without Brady and Billy fails to meet Patriots fans impossible standards. We’ll all have a good laugh when that happens.

Long story short: Do not hire coaches with a last name that starts with Mc. McAdon’t do it. They last 1 and 1/2 seasons, ruin starting QBs, and set the franchises back years.