We’re back in Alt Uniform Reveal Season! So far, the results are pretty good, and most of what is coming is also shaping up to be pretty good. Unfortunately, the Colts threw themselves into the ring and managed to make me wish they hadn’t.

I don’t hate it that much as a uniform. I do, however, hate it as a Colts uniform. As many people have pointed out, it feels almost more like an alternate Lions or Duke uniform. It just doesn’t feel Colts at all, and the black helmet is just a mistake.

The good: It’s a single-game uniform, hilariously scheduled in the afternoon, making the “Indiana Nights” theme rather silly. I’m generally fine with teams getting weird for the occasional single game. I like the heathered look, actually, but that really won’t be visible on TV during the game. I’m also okay with the stripes going down the shoulder instead of the usual vertical over-the-shoulder strap stripes. It’s not very Colts, but it works as an alternate for one game.

The Silly: The dumb Colts C logo on the left pectoral section will be very weird when several players will have the Captian C on the opposite pec, giving those players double Cs. Not great placement. It looks okay on its own, but that will be a problem in-game.

The Bad: The black helmet. I’ve gone on record often enough about how tired I am of the same black alternates over and over, but this is one of the few cases where I would have rather seen them go all the way with it. The Colts have an absolutely excellent clean, classic look. Making it all black would be unnecessary, but I think I’d like it better than this half-measure. The helmet doesn’t match the rest of the uniform and it looks heavy on the top of the blue. All the black in the uniform is at the top: covering the helmet and on the collar. The rest is faint outlines on the numbers. It creates an imbalance as the uniform goes down draped in the same blue all the way to the shoes. This has been a major design trend on uniforms as of late and I hate it. The bottom of the uniform needs to balance the top. I am a staunch, die-on-this-hill believer that pants and socks should be different colors. Pants and jersey? That can work as either a match or different. Socks? Stop making socks the same color as the pants, making every uniform look like a damn onesie. The only way it works is on away white uniforms. Give this uniform black socks and there’d at least be some measure of balance between head and toe.

However, since it is one game, it’s hard to be too mad. They likely aren’t going to use this again, unlike the Cardinals, who are now stuck with their new piles of shit.

As for the other uniform announcements:
Seahawks throwbacks are absolutely fire
-Bucs bringing back the creamsicles. Yes. God yes. Right into my veins.
-Titans bringing back the Oilers throwbacks. It still feels wrong to be the Oilers in Tennessee, but those uniforms are so damn good
Vikings throwbacks are absolutely fire. One of these days I”m going to go through every single team’s uniform history and rank the teams that are the best, and the Vikings are going to be up there. Consistently great.
-Eagles bringing back Kelly Green for a game. Yes. God Yes.
Browns going full white. I kinda like it. I don’t love it, but for an alternative, I greatly prefer this to the Colts.
Lions “longcat” blue helmet. While I always liked this logo, it looks…bad on a modern helmet.


Next week will be entirely Dan Snyder farewell comics. He’s gone. The witch is dead. The deal was ratified on Thursday. The fucker is finally, officially, out. One week of comics celebrating his ousting shall commemorate the occasion.