Jim Irsay tweeted a vagina (Don’t view that link at work) and then pulled out the classic “I got hacked!” defense. Hacked, he says. Jim Irsay got hacked. I mean, I guess it could have actually been a hacking. Does anyone really think Jim Irsay got hacked? Like, fully believe he got hacked, not just acknowledged it’s possible. Anything is possible. I might be a transformer, you don’t know. *Shifty eyes*

Whenever situations like this happen (hilariously frequently), I find it’s best practice to pretend I’m the hacker and consider what the hack accomplishes, and then compare it to the next most likely explanation. So I’m a hacker. I have access to Colts Billionaire Owner Jim Irsay’s account. What do I do with that power? I post a fairly tame pic of a vagina. Ya know, as you do. In a weak display of power. Remember when the NFL twitter account got hacked and posted a tweet about how Roger Goodell died? That was a good hack. Not a great hack, but at least it was obvious it got hacked and the hacker clearly achieved their goal of causing some mischief. What does posting a vagina really do? Man, if I was going to post some porn on an account I found, I would get the really weird stuff. A cropped picture of a woman’s bare lower half is just lame, practically mundane in the internet porn age. Weak shit, hacker, if you exist.

I think the most obvious answer is the usual suspect. Irsay meant to send it as a PM or something and accidentally hit the wrong button. Irsay isn’t known for mental stability and has tweeted many strange things before, the idea of him accidentally sending a picture out feels so much more likely than the next scenario. It’s part of what makes him Jim Irsay. This is why we love you, Jim, take credit for your desires. You admire that vagina.

This is the coda paragraph where I acknowledge that Irsay tweeted that he was hacked two weeks prior to this incident and may have indeed been hacked. We don’t know any more about that first hack. He just claimed he was hacked. No vaginas that time. So it’s all speculation at this point, but considering the honestly fairly mundane result of the hack, I choose to believe ol’ pills mcgee was having himself a nice private hand party at some point and possibly copied the picture to the clipboard, went to tweet something else later, forgot what he had actually copied, and wasn’t paying close enough attention before he hit send. I’ve done it before. You think you have the right link but you actually have the previous thing you copied, and twitter is pretty slow to display previews at times so he probably just assumed it was right and didn’t really look, hit the button, and put it down. Then figured it out 12 minutes later.

While drunk the whole time.