I have long believed the Cardinals had the worst uniforms in the league for years. Not the most aesthetically unpleasing, but the worst combo of boring, outdated, AND bad. The red shoulderpads on the away uniforms felt like the only neat touch on an incredibly bland Reebok era look. It spoke to how cheap the team is that it took so long to update. I was excited to find out they finally were updating.

The modern trend in uniform (and brand design in general) seems to be minimalism and cleanliness. It’s not a movement I have any major beef with, and clean looks tend to work in the NFL. For some teams. For teams that have never had a true classic look or feel, I like it better when they swing. Even if they miss, because the misses are at the very least hilarious, and likely to get switched out pretty fast, a’la the Browns, Jags, and Bucs recent monstrosities. I wanted the Cardinals to swing. Anything would be an upgrade, but I was hoping they’d swing.

They didn’t swing. They just took what was a boring and bland look from the mid-2000s and turned it into a boring and bland look from the early 2020s. I don’t think the new look will age well either once they start doing fun things again. I don’t hate it, but I don’t like it much. It’s fine. I might reserve some judgment for when we see them in action as most of these uniforms tend to work better on the field during games, but from the showcase so far, it’s pretty meh.

Things I like:
-I like stripes on shoulders so any uniform with shoulder stripes in some fashion will always please me. I wish the stripes were a little thicker so the red popped more and I worry they won’t show up as well from far away during games. The stripes pop more on the black uniform and might be the reason I don’t mind it much there. I actually don’t mind the “cardinals” inside the middle gray stripe either.
-I like the stripes down the side of the pants. Basically, I like the away uniforms, but the other two not so much.

Things I hate:
-fucking stop making all-black alternates, they are all the same uniform. Take away the “Cardinals” on the shoulder and the Falcons could wear these and nobody would know. Even the 49ers could wear it and it would fit their look too as an alternate.
-Why is the home jersey the only one that has a big fat ARIZONA over the numbers? Usually, if you have a big unique element like that, it goes on the alternate. If you aren’t going to put it on the away jersey too, take that shit off. It looks dumb anyway. Colleges look good with the name over the numbers. Pro uniforms do not.
-One trend that has been happening recently is the away uniform looking like it doesn’t match the home uniform. Good away uniforms are closer to palette swaps, a reverse color version where the uniform mostly has the same design just mostly white as the primary. This has a case of the home jersey and away jersey not resembling each other at all. The home jersey has the big ARIZONA, the away does not. The away has stripes on the shoulders and pants, the home is totally solid. The away jersey honestly feels like it matches the alternate better than the home.

Things I do not have an answer for but hope is true:
-They need to mix and match the pants. One thing that severely worries me is the announcement conference showed…no alternate getups. No red jersey with white pants. No away white with red pants. I have generally always been a fan of when jersey colors match the pants color but the socks are different. This getup is just color rush. If they are willing to have the home uniforms with the white pants, it will look so much better. I assume the team will do this, but the fact that they didn’t even try to display it at the conference while they had 3 guys per uniform is kinda strange. If you aren’t going to have variations, why have 3 dudes in the same getup? Show the complete range.

Things I still want but will never get:
-I want red helmets. The Cardinals are named for a very red bird. It feels dumb they got a black helmet before getting a red one. Give me a red helmet and add more white to the home jersey with white pants and I might actually be happy for once.
-If you insist on making all-black uniforms for everyone, I want one of the Thursday night games to be a blackout game where both teams wear the all-blacks. Dim the lights. Just see what happens. Max chaos.