Adios you piece of shit.

Welcome friends. This is a week over 20 years in the making. A week I genuinely never thought we’d actually get any time soon. The Bastard finally flew too close to the sun and pissed off the wrong people just enough that the NFL has finally managed to rid itself of the filth. Dan Snyder is gone. He’s out. He’s officially out. The NFL ratified the sale, and while it’s absolute bullshit that he walks away with 6 billion dollars, at least he’s finally gone.

I’ll save a more exhaustive recap of the shitstain that was Dan Snyder’s ownership for Friday. For today, I just want to relish that this is the first full week without Dan Snyder that football fans have had since 1999. The bad man is gone. Yes, roughly 32 bad men (and women!) still left and another just took his place, but this was the worst bad man. The baddest man. The most vile of all the man. He bought the team and turned a hallmark famed franchise into a depressing, angry joke. Anything good during his tenure was by accident or against his will. He was a vile boss. An insensitive dipshit. A whiney, pathetic, transparently evil person. Fuck Dan Snyder.

I’m happy for the remnants of the Washington fanbase. Even though I hope they continue to lose every game. It wasn’t your choice to get stuck with the cum gremlin of the NFL. You endured everything from expired peanuts to the stadium dumping greywater on you amidst years and years of failure. I don’t blame anyone who gave up and switched teams or just stopped being invested entirely.

No other owner has been featured on this website more. He is the subject of many of my most bitterly angry comics. No one ever defended him. Even the people who defended the bad name never actually defended Dan Snyder. Hell, Dan Snyder may have been the reason the name got forcibly changed to begin with. If he was a competent owner who gave the team respectability it might have been harder to sway a large contingent of people away, but nobody wants to defend a disgusting joke of a team run by the human equivalent of the worst dumpster you’ve ever smelled.