Sweet Delicious Patriots Schadenfreude
This will be the last DAVE HATES THE PATRIOTS comic for a while. As I’ve said all week, I want to stop talking about them as best I can.
It’s fun to hate. They make an excellent heel. The fans are uniquely annoying thanks to the unprecedented levels of success. But we’ve spent years on this and I’m running out of steam. I’m running out of ways to hate. I’m just tired.
The Patriots just dominate the media and it’s no longer because they are good. We’ve run out of ways to talk about how good they are. Nope, all we want to do now is find the cracks because we all just want it to be over. Sadly our boredom and desire to see it end has actually made it worse, because ESPN and the like know how eager we are to see it die so any perceived issue becomes a huge story. We had an entire week of nonsense because Tom Brady wore a glove. We had an entire week of nonsense after the Chiefs blew them up week 1. We had an entire week of nonsense when ESPN published a big ol’ rumormill of a story that seemed unconfirmed enough to be complete bullshit (or truth, there just wasn’t anything to grip either way).
The Patriots are the Kardashians. They’ve become such a monster that we can’t stop talking about them even if we hate them and want them to go away. It’s become a self-serving machine. The surface tension is so thick and it’s become unbearable trying to see when it finally breaks. While the Pats will obviously remain important as long as they stay good and have the Brady Billy combo, I think it’s time for us to just…stop caring about them. Stop talking about them. Hating them isn’t making them go away. Being so eager to see them go away is just making the time pass by slower. I think it’s better for all of us if we start talking about other teams instead. The Jags did a good thing this year, lets talk about them! Let’s talk Titans! Bills! Vikings! Eagles! Everybody else!
So I’m taking that opportunity to take a stand for myself because I’m just as guilty of being an obnoxious hater as everyone else. I haven’t checked the stats but I’m almost positive the Pats are #2 or #3 most comic’d here. Unless something completely earth shattering happens like Brady dies or leaves or Belichick dies or leaves or SOMEBODY (Gronk) dies, I’m going to curb my Pats jokes, as easy and as fun as they are to make. Until this team actually, literally crumbles the way we all want it to, I’m going to avoid them. Let’s make comics and talk about other teams.
And as one last huzzah as we enter the great Pats hibernation of 2018, I say this. Let it loose. Cut it all loose in the comments. get all that Patriots hate out right now, similar to that Green Bay comic I did before the playoffs. Just let it all hang out. Be as biased and as bitter as you want. Revel in the hate. Be the hate. I will only accept hate. This is our time to hate. Hate like kings, my friends. We don’t get many opportunities to truly lap up the Patriots misery, so DO IT! (Insert Shia Lebouf picture)
Fuck you ya goddamn chowderheads who idolize a pretty boy who doesn’t give a fuck about you. Foxboro sucks, it’s a hole in the woods and you game-time atmosphere is a load of weak-ass spoiled white dudes wearing Red Sawx hats talking about how much you want Tom Brady’s dick in your throat. I don’t know if you cheated or not. I don’t think you did. But I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if you still did and just got away with it because there wasn’t enough evidence. Fuck Tom Brady. He’s no GOAT. He’s just a good player who got stuck with the best coach of all time in a well-run franchise. No matter how many rings he has, he’ll never be anything more than a big crybaby who gets away with being a dick and angry because people want him to kiss their mouths. Bill Belichick is an asshole. He sees players as meat meant to be slaves to his will or they get cut. I’m glad Malcolm Butler is going to leave, he deserves to actually be appreciated. You’ll all have horrible carpal tunnel in 5 years thanks to the never ending jerkoff sessions when you look at Tom Brady pictures. Tom Brady has a quack nutter for a doctor and half of the city probably went on the diet. If Tom Brady was an anti-vaxxer Boston would be ground zero for a new polio plague. You share a fandom with Mark Wahlberg and you’re proud of it. Eat shit.
Josh McDaniels is a sniveling weasel. Matt Patricia is just going to be the next in a long line of failed Billy coordinators. I’m glad Doug Pederson slapped his balls in your faces. No matter how many championships you have I still know that on Sunday night you went to bed angry and sad like the rest of us usually do. I’m glad that Brady’s platinum legacy has a few smudges of shit on it that look like Eli Manning and Nick Foles. Boston sucks. I hope when this team finally reaches it’s end, they hire Hue Jackson and never win a game for 10 years. Every fan who grew up with Brady is a bandwagon bitch and will abandon the team when it’s over. You know those old fart 49ers fans who never shut the fuck up about JOE MONTANA and JERRY RICE and STEVE YOUNG and it’s like “STOP LIVING IN THE 80’S YOU IRRITATING OLD FARTS!” That’s gonna be you in 10 years, only worse. You will be scum forever. Yeah, we will remember the Brady era, and we’ll be glad it’s fucking over so that all you have is memories of a billion dollar franchise that doesn’t actually give a fuck about your stupid face.
HIT ME WITH THAT HATE.
(MOVING UPDATE: Do not be shocked if no new comic appears on Tuesday. I will have the computer in my new place but internet may not be set up by then and I may be too busy getting things in order/organized. Don’t worry, Jimmy G will have his money time to shine)
“Don’t worry, Jimmy G will have his money time to shine”
Ah yep I just creamed my pants goddamnit
Huh seems like the Patriots ARE the FC Bayern Munich of the NFL
Same kind of fanbase and all…
I am disappointed in you Dave. You tell everyone to let loose, but then treat the Pats with kid gloves?
“I don’t know if you cheated or not. I don’t think you did.”
No Dave! You are supposed to commit! The truth is not relevant when discussing this garbage franchise. Let me show you how it’s done.
You said it yourself. How can TB12 be the greatest quarterback if he can’t even catch an extremely catch-able ball? I mean, a QBs job is to throw the ball, you’re telling me he can’t catch it? That franchise was background noise until they decided to film other teams walk-through (This was proven by a newspaper, retracted because of shit journalism, and now annually misreported by ESPN because, integrity!). It is why the Eagles won (they had fake practices to protect themselves), otherwise, they would have lost. I won’t even go into Deflategate. Patriots thought they could hide behind facts and science. Ha! Not in this day in age. They cheated! #Alternativefacts
They are classless. Look it what BB did to the Jets. Sure Parcells did it to NE, but that doesn’t make it OK. And then there is Joshy-boy. Leaving Colts like that. It wasn’t quite the same as BP and BB, but you could see where he got the inspiration. I mean sure, they let him hire people before he, himself was even hired, but this is common in the NFL. The Colts, in their infinite wisdom, Tweeted his upcoming hiring, despite reports that he was still on the fence prior to the SB. It was smart because there was no way he would back-down after a Tweet, those are legally binding. Oh, then there was Jimmy G and Biscuit. They were traded at Brady’s behest. Yeah, we see through your inner “Mean Girl” Brady. Congratulating them and wishing them “success,” whatever that means. Which brings me to…
… The worst thing about the Patriots, Tom Brady. I mean come on. What is there not to hate about the guy? The guy married a supermodel. Who the hell does that? He was some scrawny nobody. Clearly the antithesis of athleticism. Arm strength, accuracy, pocket presence, pre-snap read, adjustments, field vision, mobility, speed, clutchness; Brady isn’t the best in any of these categories. You could list QBs better than TB12 on all of them. Brees is more accurate, Aaron has a bigger arm, Wilson is more mobile, etc, etc. Brady, the Jack Of All QBs has more rings, big whoop. This loser, drafted 199th, that no one wanted in college or the NFL, is now married to some model who makes more money than him. How sad is it, that his wife is worth more than him? Sure, he is a millionaire, and is probably set for life, but she makes way more… he should be ashamed. I bet if she left him, he would have to wipe his tears with less money than she could. He’d have to settle for lesser poon too. Maybe some other celebrity with less star power than his ex-wife (still in a hypothetical here), who will never be unseated as the highest paid supermodel by some reality star.
This is a guy who gives money to cancer organizations. Like, who supports cancer? I bet you he isn’t even circumcised. There is also the way he treats the media. So politically correct and robotic, with his PR approved responses. He probably convinces himself that playing this close to the chest will protect his family and prevent the media from drawing conclusions out of thin air (See deflate-gate, and “The Kiss”). Oh, and while we are here, he is also a child molester. Did you see him hook up with his son? What a pedo.
In conclusion, Patriots suck. Their SBs are predictable, close, one score games. No one wants to see that. No one wants to see history being made with a QB who keeps breaking the records of other people’s favorite quarterback. Go away.
Yes, I am aware I couldn’t even make it through the beginning of this garbage post. Didn’t even commit myself. I will say this, McDickwad is an asshole.
Congrats and fuck you Eagles.
Go Pats!!!
haha, well said good sir, well said. Go Pats, congrats Eagles. Who cares.
Give Parcells a break, he wasn’t allowed to get the groceries to cook the dinner.
DANG THATS A LONG COMMENT!
BRA-VOH SIR. bravo. the only thing you missed was I MAEKS SENCE A MURDETRER LIKE HERNANANDEZ WOULD BE ON THE PATS!!!!
Yeah. I missed Hernandez. One could say I left him… hanging.
I shouldn’t have.
Also, Kraft and Bill have younger wives. Make of that what you will.
He got tired of catching passes as a wide receiver in the end zone.
I appreciate Belichick, and his philosophy toward players. Tom Brady is more than just the beneficiary of an amazing system; he’s an integral part of it, and easily one of the top 5 QBs of all time, and dramatically better than Peyton. The Patriots are the longest-lasting, single-most dominant Dynasty in NFL history, and while I’m not a fan, hating on success is just as bad as bandwagoning. Dave’s basically a Seahawks 12er, but with negative emotions instead of positive ones.
I do not hate the Patriots. I merely loathe the Patriots. The Boston accent is a sexually transmitted infection that I never had to think about prior to this current Patriots run of success. What is truly annoying is that not only have the Patriots been good, but every other Boston franchise has pulled their head out of their ass long enough to win a championship. Now whenever I put on ESPN for background noise I run the risk of experiencing the auditory equivalent of a weeping herpes sore.
Peyton will and forever be a much better QB than Brady. Just imagine if he had Belichick as his head coach instead of what he had. He brought his team to the Super Bowl 4 times with a different coach each time!
Lol @ dramatically better than Peyton. Let’s see:
Peyton’s teams without him 6-17 – 5 of these wins came when his corpse won a superbowl
TB12’s teams without him 13-6
Head Coaches
Peyton’s: 4. Made Superbowl with all 4.
TB12: 1 and the best ever at coaching
Top 10/5/3 defenses (scoring)
Peyton: 6, 2, 1
TB12: 14, 9, 5 *
Tom Brady never won a superbowl when his team was out of the top 10
Offensive style
Peyton: pro style
TB12: pro style until 2012/ college style since*
See career shotgun yards. While TB12 was really good at both this is more to shot Peyton’s degree of difficulty.
Top Weapons:
Peyton: Marvin Harrison, Edgerine James, Wayne – although no one but Edge did anything without him (except that sweet Beybey Tebow connection)
TB12: Randy Moss (top 5 all time WR), Gronk (top all time TE at his peak), Wes Welker
Manning succeeded despite his situation, Brady has been great in a perfect situation.
“load of weak-ass spoiled white dudes”
Nice racism there, Dave.
What bird(s) will make their nests in Matt Patricia’s beard when he makes his Draw Play debut?
It’s hard to hate the Patriots. They’ve got the GOAT head coach and he’s been handicapped by having an okay (albeit unathletic) system quarterback.
Imagine just how much the Patriots could have accomplished if Belicheck had a real quarterback like Alex Smith, Philip Rivers or Tony Romo. Or god forbid, a legendary quarterback like Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees. The Patriots probably wouldn’t have had to cheat all those times if they had a real quarterback.
It’s actually very easy to hate the Pats
They are a bunch of fuckheads
hush dave
You’d think all you people crediting Belichick for Brady’s success would learn to spell his name eventually.
Brady looks like he stole Goodel’s hair price in the second “Brady is sad” picture.
I’m sure you can count on one hand the amount of patriots fans prior to 2001. I wish flying elvis was still on the Patriots shoulder pads.
Having grown up in Maine during the Drew Bledsoe years, there were plenty of people wearing Patriots gear at that time. Not sure about the pre-Bledsoe, “Pat the Patriot” era, however.
The 85 Patriots are probably the most forgettable super bowl team ever and the 90/91 Patriots in nes tecmo super bowl have to be the worst team ever in a video game (Grogan running is the literally your only option on offense).
FWIW, my earliest sports memory is bawling when the pats lost the ’85 SB. (i was five. followed by the 86 world series where you better believe i lost my shit., in 88 when the sox lost to the a’s i was so upset i ate one of my (like a dozen) ricky henderson cards.) i was masochistically kind of into it when they had the 1-15 season.
A hero is only as good as his villain. The Patriots aren’t fun when Eli isn’t around to beat them. So kudos to the Eagles. They may not have been the heros we wanted, but they proved ultimately to be the heros we needed.
Before the season, my wife (who doesn’t care remotely about football) asked me who I thought was going to the Super Bowl. I picked the Patriots because the only team I thought was close to them was the Steelers.
In the NFC, I picked the Giants (how wrong was I). I had hoped that in the end, Eli would conquer the Great Belichick Empire and dispose of the mighty TB12. While I was wrong about the Giants, in the end, Eli still outshined Brady. That made me happy. To me, that was the best commercial ever.
Also, good luck moving. Hope all goes well. Looking forward to our next exciting installment of Money Wars.
Patriots are the worst fucking fan base on the planet, They’ve been a great team for 15 years and still have no fucking clue how to handle success. Honestly, they’re never fucking underdogs, nobody counts them out. Boston literally had no good teams until 2000, besides the Celtics. They act like they’re NYC or LA and they’ve been good for decades. I’m a Yankees fan (please don’t hate, this is about the Patriots) the Yankees have been good for over a hundred years and the Pats have been good for 15, and Boston fans act like they’re the greatest team ever. Furthermore, I hate when people say the Patriots have been a dynasty since 2001. No its two fucking dynasties the Pats won the three in the early 2000s and the three in the late 2010s. NO DYNASTY can have a 10 year championship gap in between. The Yankees 2009 championship was not part of the November Dynasty (1996, 1998-00). Also it can’t be one large dynasty if there is only one player left from the original team.
Also Tom Brady is cheater, Bill Belichick is a living-angry bowl of oatmeal, Gronk has probably ruffed someone, Nobody gives a shit that Hogan played lacrosse anymore, Edelman is a cocky cunt, McDaniels is probably the biggest sport asshole in the last decade, Nobody gives a shit that Patricia used to be an Engineer, Gisele isn’t that hot (to me).
Also Could people stop saying that Tom Brady has never had HOF players around him, he would if Bill didn’t fucking trade everyone.
Also Tom Brady’s defense and Adam Vinateri won him his first 3 superbowls. Tom Brady threw 2 touchdown in the playoffs in the route to his first Super Bowl
Fuck Brady,Fuck the Pats, Fuck Boston
(Except for the Boston Creme Donuts and New England Clam chowder, those are the shit)
Bellicheck is the greatest GM of all time accepting to any advanced metrics. His teams are the best even though they consistently have to pick in the back part of the draft.
In the pre draft cap era he would trade back into the 2nd round to accumulate as many good (not great) players without having to pay first round prices.
In the post draft cap era the Pats have traded up more often, and instead use low risk deals for free agents, make the free agent look better than they are by making them role players, and then trading them.
People say the Pats defense was bad this year despite the fact that they ranked 5th in scoring defense, even though the pats play no huddle lots of possessions style offense.
Brady won a single Superbowl when his defense wasn’t at least top 5 scoring defense. (In case you’re wondering they were 11th).
Brady might be pretty good, but he’s been playing in a college (read easier to run offense) since 2013.
The best part about this year is that the playoff teams proved that a good coach and team can make your QB look way better than they are. Bradys playing with the greatest GM and Coach of all time. No way he goes to Green Bay, New Orleans or trades spots with Peyton Manning and has the same success he’s had. I’ll admit he might still be successful, but only to the same degree the incumbents are at a ceiling.
Also if anyone wants to talk about comeback victories, I’ll point to Brees’s career and show how many comeback victories the Saints give up in the final minute after a comeback. You can only come from behind if your defense is good enough to keep the game close.
If you count the SpyGate years as forfeits (and I do), Brom Tady is the losingest Superbowl quarterback ever at 2-6, and needed the Falcons and Seahawks to choke to get those two wins.
There were no “spygate years.” The rule about taping signals during a game from the wrong place that they broke didn’t even exist until 2006.
Super Bowl is two words.
Stay in school kids.
Regardless of how it’s spelled, the evedince was so bad they had to nuke it otherwise the other 31 owners would’ve made the Pats give dem rings back. You know how I know?
The Ray Rice video got “lost”.
The NFL fabricated concussion studies.
They’ve covered up pain pill use for years.
All these things are pretty bad and may end up costing the NFL billions in litigation, but they never full scale nuked them. The SpyGate tapes got NUKED. Only reason they got nuked is to prevent the owners from full scale rebellion against the Pats ownership and from having to basically nix 3 years of the league. This isn’t even a conspiracy theory. It’s a widely accepted fact that only Pats fan are in denial of.
LOL. Breezus for the win. Way to go method.
More suffering by the New England sports fans is fine by me. They deserve what they get.
Jeannine Garoffalo got fuckin paid
Speaking of failed coordinators, does anyone remember the time when Hufnagel nearly ruined Eli?
Vegas has the miners winning the superb owl by odds of 20:1. Even though them and the patriots have the same amount of big game wins, the 49ers are a fun type of successful, which is why Jimmy G is now much more likeable
I don’t like the Patriots.
They lost to a team that likes pee pee and doo doo!
Thank you for making the Patriots lose, O mighty ones.
I LOVE the Patriots. I’ve been a fan since I was a kid, when Steve Fucking Grogan was dragging the team kicking and screaming to 5 win seasons. Go ahead and hate. You’ve earned it. We’re like the British Goddamn Empire. We dominated the world for forever and everyone hates us for it. Too bad.
Our five rings never go away. Forever, you will all remember how for almost two decades your enjoyment of football was ruined by a state that you wish you could afford to live in.
Maybe you all should have cheated, too. Maybe then you could have actually won some games.
And in all seriousness, congrats to the Eagles. They did play a great game.
How can you be on a list for one worst teams in nfl history, and best
Brady is overrated. The Pats are like 14-6 without him. With Manning gone, the Colts were a 2-14 team. With Rogers gone, the Packers are a 5-11 team. Brady has been benefiting from the system and coaching more than any QB ever. Look at Philip Rivers. He’s had most of his career wasted by terrible coaching, terrible rosters, terrible team management, or any combination of the 3, all while playing for one of the worst owners in professional sports history. And yet, for 10 of his 12 seasons, he’s been a top 10 QB, with a good 5 seasons as a top 5 QB. His career AVERAGE QB rating is better than Eli Manning’s career BEST. His career worst QB rating is Manning’s average. At his best, Eli Manning is only as good as an average Philip Rivers. This isn’t to say Manning sucks, he doesn’t. Its just convenient to compare them as Manning has won over Brady twice
Keep in mind Eli had to play with Gilbride’s system for much of his career, even Peyton, Rivers, Brees, and Brady would have issues with that kind of system where both QB and the receivers have to be in the same page for it to work, hence the inconsistency. 2011 is an example if things goes well over half the time while 2013 is when things goes wrong…
That’s the problem with raw stats like the QB ratings and don’t get me started on the one ESPN created.
Frankly, I don’t hate the Patriots themselves, I just find them boring as all get out. There’s nothing really interesting about them. They’re just a juggernaut that steamrolls every season to the same ending.
Now, Patriots *fans*, on the otherhand… if there’s a more sniveling, spoiled, entitled, insufferable fairweather fanbase, I’d like to see it. Patriots fans are like Steelers and Packers fans, but worse, because at least those fans had to wait for some of their teams’ success, whereas Patriots fans got it all in one big glut. There are adult Patriots fans now that have never known their team as anything but the NFL’s dominant, evil empire, and when reality hits them like a freight train, it will be *delicious.*
The Patriots themselves, I could leave or take. But Patriots fans? Fuck them with a cactus.
Same here, most of them are Red Sox fans so that does it for me.
I hope the Patriots make one more Super Bowl and get stomped out by Cam and the Panthers.
I’m all for this. Although I don’t know what the media narrative would be when Brady doesn’t shake Cam’s hand afterwards.
That would be nice considering how Cam have been over hated by the media. Granted some of them were deserved but the media would like you to believe that he rapes kids or something.
As a Pats Fan,
Your hate makes us stronger
Haha get the fuck out. The strength of you “fans” doesn’t effect their performance on field.
I was disappointed by the conclusion of the Brady hand boo-boo story.
Brady was doing SUCH a good job of milking it to pump it up into a “look at ME overcome adversity — aren’t I awesome?!” story: Wearing red gloves to press conferences (can ya see that in the back???), wearing the world’s largest BLACK bandage (can ya see that in the upper deck?), etc. But he didn’t finish it.
I was fully expecting Brady to be in street clothes thru the first series of the Jags game cuz it was JUST SO OWWY he could barely move. Then after Hoyer dies in a 3-and-out, Tawmy runs out of the tunnel suited up and ready to take over!!!
THE MOST INCREDIBLE THING in the history of things!
But no…..
They did the same with Brady’s ankle prior to SB 42. After the loss, some Pats fans attempted to use that as an excuse but thankfully it didn’t last long.
That is some SERIOUS trash talk.
And what the Pats fan said, they feed on hate. They are Sith, after all.
Something to add, at least Jimmy G won’t have to worry about the rings no matter what happens.
This. Is. The. Best. Comic. Ever. Thanked Dave for this, it makes me happy!
Tom Brady has stupid haircut and he has a commercial that’s clearly about him fucking a mattress. Man…that poor mattress. SB Sunday did not go well for that mattress.
I can remember when they went 1-15.
Their time to suck monumental amounts of ass WILL come again. And I personally cannot fucking wait.
I love how your idea of revenge is for the Pats – eventually – to come down to earth. Do you call it a win when your enemy dies of old age after a long and fulfilling life?
I hope the Patriots get popped for some huge scandal where there’s absolutely no doubt that they did wrong. Whether this is cheating, or the upper echelon of the Patriots fanbase are legit pedophiles, or they get popped for straight-up rigging games, something where the hammer has to come down.
I want to see Brady and Belichick straight-up banned from the NFL. I want to see the team get the “death penalty” – no draft picks for two years, no use of free agency for two years, hell, no home games. 100% of the profit from that time frame taken from them. Smack them down with so many sanctions that they take fifty years to recover.
That is some hate, I fully endorse this Hatorade.
Losing the Super Bowl isn’t good enough for me regarding Brady. I want some huge-ass scandal that surfaces to taint his legacy forever, preferably one that invalidates all 5 (NOT SIX, FUCK YOU STEVE!) Super Bowl victories.
I don’t think the NFL would let that happen – see SpyGate. The evidence was damning enough that they had to destroy it. If anything I could easily see a steroid scandal for Brady. Brees at least looks older and is slower. Bradys gotten faster and stronger at 40. To be fair manning probably did roids to repair his neck.
Karma is a helluva drug.
D’aww, poor Tommy couldn’t catch the ball because it wasn’t deflated enough! Maybe if Gronk had pulled a dirty elbow drop on the ball first…The fact that Philly pulled off the same trick play successfully right after Tommy dropped it gave America a collective sportsgasm.
Oh, and fuck you Gronk, we thought you were the only likable thing about your rotten team but no, turns out you’re a cheap-shotting bastard. Well karma’s a bitch, and your CTE will be too. If your brain had any more bruises it’d be dark enough that the Southie cops would pull it over. Although who knows, maybe dementia will make you smarter.
Fuck the tuck rule.
The very best thing about this season, aside from Philly winning the Superbowl?
Next season, the Pats wont even get to the Superbowl. That ball-slapping-on-the-chin moment is going to be provided by the Jags, or the Steelers, both franchises that are loaded with young talent on long term deals. The Pats will still win their obligatory 6 games by virtue of playing in arguably the weakest Division in the NFL, but across the board, other teams will improve far more than this dinosaur of a team.
As for Mark Wahlberg …. Transformers the Last Knight was absolute dog shit. The sooner you go back to modelling underwear for the Boston masses to jerk off over, the better.
The Browns are more likely to beat the Patriots than Pittsburgh, especially if Rapelesburger retires.
The best thing from this season was watching an Eagles fan eat horseshit. It was like he was so used to eating the horseshit that was watching the Eagles that he wanted to transport himself to a simpler time.
You know next year the Pats will be back in the SB. That’s why you hate them.
I mean the AFC East is full of incompetence and impotence, like a flaccid Donald Trump.
And what team in the AFC is going to stop them? The Steelers with their rapist qb who manages somehow to be both younger than Brady, yet on the field appears to be as old as Brady’s dad?
In the NFC, The Eagles got lucky. They’ll be lucky to make the playoffs, and the Giants won’t have a chance without Coughlin. In other words, your all fucked.
“flaccid” and “donald trump” in the same sentence, oh god i’m never going to be able to keep food down ever again
why, does redundancy make you sick?
Lol. If it weren’t for the Pats, Peyton Manning and Roethlisberger, the AFC would’ve been garbage every year. Every now and then the Ravens, Chiefs or Chargers would crash the playoff party but let’s face it – the Browns, Bengals, Bills, Phins, Jets, post-Manning Colts, Texans, Titans and pre-2017 Jags are not only bad, but dysfunctional. The NFC only has the following dysfunctional franchises: the post 2011 Giants and the Post Harbaugh / half the team retiring Niners. The other bad franchises – Lions, Bucs, Skins – still somehow manage to cobble together competent seasons and talented teams every few years.
pats suck and anyone who says otherwise is objectively wrong
Actually the pats are cool and good and in 10 years everyone will be mad every time they think about their 2 decades of dominance. I’m glad the pats ruin everyone’s day!
You gotta pay the credit where it’s due. Tom Brady, for sixth round pick, is a fucking god. He has the same amount of rings as the Cowboys and 49ers, he led the only NFL team to a 16-0 undefeated season, and he hasn’t slowed down, even at the age of 40. That Super Bowl was one of his best games in his career. Overall, the Pats are able to dominate the AFC year after year, being what most good teams should be, losing to good teams, and beating the bad/mediocre/decent teams (of course it doesn’t happen all the time, but you get the point).
The Patriots’ dynasty in the 21st century can easily be put up against dynasties like the 1990s Cowboys and 49ers, the 70s Steelers, and the 60s Packers.
We live in a country where we pride success yet hate successful people
That last line is so true. Never thought of it that way either. I use to despise the Patriots. Now, I tolerably respect them. They’ve done something truly special for a really long time. People who say TB12 wouldn’t be that good with Belichick, my guess is Bill wouldn’t be considered one of the best coaches of all time without Brady. We hate the Patriots because they just keep winning despite our desire to see them lose. 10, 20 years from now, we will look back on this time and think about how impressive this is. And with a smile, under our breathe we will mutter “I hate the Patriots.”
Without Belichick***
You’re doing it wrong.
“Tom Brady has a quack nutter for a doctor and half of the city probably went on the diet.”
Quack? QUACK!?!?! You don’t become an MVP at 40 without a fucking legit Shaman stretching your muscles out and giving you avocado icecream every day!
“Dave’s basically a Seahawks 12er, but with negative emotions instead of positive ones.”
This. This all goddamn day. There is no excuse.. none, nada, zip, zero, zilch.. for a Giants/Redskins/Cowboys fan to be rooting for the Eagles in ANY important game. This goes for all divisions. The day I lost the last tiny droplet of respect I had for Steelers fans as a whole was when one told me they were rooting for the Ravens against the 49ers in the Super Bowl.
Huh? Nah, bro. You cheer for your division if your team’s out. Makes your your team look good to be in a competitive division. I’m a Steelers fan and I cheered for the Ravens over the niners. I have a few Ravens fan friends who cheered for Pittsburgh in ‘08. To me it was kind of like “Nobody’s allowed to beat the Ravens except us!”
It’s hilarious how overly defensive the Pats fans are in these comments. You could make a comic just about them.
Watching the Patriots never stop winning made me bored with football. Halfway through the season I just found other things to do on Sundays. I stopped watching the playoffs after the Steelers were out, and I wasn’t even mad about it. In fact, I was relieved I didn’t have to feel an obligation to watch a Patriots game. I skipped the Super Bowl.
I don’t know what could be more damning for a football team than that. They made me not care about football as a whole.
So uhh… I’m a Pats fan. I was watching the superbowl with my room mate who is a die hard Eagles fan. I had a good time, was drunk by halftime, the game was enjoyable, and I lost a bet and had to change my facebook profile to me wearing a Sproles jersey for a week.
I’m not upset about the loss. Like, at all. We’ve won a LOT lately, and if it had to go to another team, I’m glad it was the Eagles. Honestly, between the 4 teams who were left after the divisional round, I would’ve been happy to see any of them win. I’m not gonna touch on all the “cheater” stuff because honestly, it’s not worth it. You can’t argue the point for or against, because you either love the Pats, or hate them with every fiber of your being, or just don’t care about football. There’s no in between.
Whoever your team is, we now have to suffer through the offseason again before we all have another shot next year. Just wanted to bring the voice of reason to this hate-clouded comment section because honestly, football is bae and it was an enjoyable game.
Also, as much as it burns my soul… I agree about Eli and Odell being awesome in that commercial.