I can’t believe it. I can’t. I suspected his injury case had to be worse than expected but to see the man actually legitimately hang it up so suddenly…I mean damn. RIP Andrew Luck. You were dead the whole time, but like Bruce Willis, we didn’t know it yet. Except Me. I knew it. I’m a genius. Ignore the many times I’ve been wrong and focus only on this instance.

Who would have guessed that RG3’s football career was going to outlast Andrew Luck’s. I mean…fuck. Rg3, who we all suspected was dead sometime during year 2, has actually lasted longer as of this week than Andrew Luck, the greatest football QB prospect anyone had ever talked about before. What the hell happened? How much suffering has Luck endured? The Draw Play started the same offseason year RG3, Luck, and Wilson were drafted. RG3 getting Edgar Allen Poe’d by Sexy Rexy was like my 20th comic. My first Andrew Luck comic was posted on August 16th of 2012. He’s been a routine staple here for ugly jokes and whatnot since. I feel like a part of DP history is dead now. As of this week, The Draw Play has lasted longer than Andrew luck’s professional football career. That’s wild.

It’s a tragic tale and it is incredibly sad to see what happened. I’ve never seen a prospect as hyped as Andrew Luck. He was a savior. He was good enough to make the Colts actually let Peyton Manning walk. He led the team to multiple playoff performances, including just last season. Hell, after the years of injury troubles and surgeries last year looked like a return to Colts form as they finally found a good coach and some genuine protection. Now…it’s the Jacoby Brisket era? WTF.

The fact that he lasted till week 3 of preseason makes me think this really was hard on the poor guy and he really did want to keep playing, but realized he just can’t keep going through this. It’s like you can see the point where the consequences of the game actually outweighed the love of it. Luck is undoubtedly making a decision few are able to make. He has a full degree from Stanford and millions of dollars his smart person brain has probably properly invested. Luck never needed football. It probably makes the decision to walk away for the sake of his own health an easier one. It also makes me wonder about the players who do need football. The players who came from nothing and were only able to make it through football. The ones who clearly suffered longer than they wanted to because they were too afraid to walk away, because what skills outside football do they have? If everyone had the abilities and the privilege Luck has, how many people would actually continue to play this sport? This is the kind of thing that will ultimately kill the sport.

I hope nothing but the best for him. I will miss him. Andrew was a delightful presence in the league. He was goofy looking, he had the most absurdly deep voices you’ll hear, he was talented and in the very fun to watch way, he complimented people who sacked him, he was just a joy. We don’t really have another analogue to him out there right now. He was one of a kind. Farewell, Andrew Luck. Godspeed. Write a tell-all book about the Colts doctors someday because after this and Peyton’s neck I have to wonder what is up.