The Bengals Bad Luck Charm
Wanna know a fun fact? Cris Collinsworth has now been somehow involved in all 3 Bengals super bowl losses.
His rookie year was 1981. In 1981 the Bengals went to the Super Bowl (XVI). They lost. In Collinsworth’s final season, the Bengals went to the Super Bowl (XXIII), and they lost. Then, 30 years later, the Bengals finally won some playoff games again and returned to the Super Bowl. LVI was broadcast on NBC. Cris Collinsworth got to call his former team in the Super Bowl. They lost. I wonder if he had PTSD. The only thing that could have made all of this funnier is if the 49ers had done it instead. We were one game away from that happening!
So is Cris Collinsworth a bad luck charm or a good luck charm? They’ve only made the Superbowl with him around, but they’ve also never won with him involved. I say the Bengals should hire Cris Collinsworth to work for the front office, and then if they make the Super Bowl, fire him immediately. Bury him in a pit in the ground with no way to watch the game or know the result until after the game has been played. If the Bengals win, then Collinsworth has been the secret all along.
Other random fun facts: the only teams to beat the Bengals in Super Bowls are from California and in the NFC west.
They’re getting closer though. Lost by 5, lost by 4, lost by 3… only another three Super Bowls before they lose one in OT, and THEN they can go win it.
The Bengals will now be the first team to lose a Super Bowl by way of Safety. In 2052.
Nah, by then the Football Snowflakes will have convinced the NFL to allow for the other team to have a drive in OT regardless of 1st possession touchdown. Then they’ll mess up the tying Extra Point Attempt, or attempt to go for a Super Bowl Winning 2-point Conversion, screw it up, and it gets returned for a 2-point Defensive Conversion, and they lose by 3.
By that time the defense will be in the same level of present day NBA.
Well the beauty of a safety is that it’d still end an OT game.
they will continue to lose, asymptotically, forever
until they or the bills get reconferenced, then i dunno
ragnarok i spose
So Cris Collinsworth was/is Wes Welker before Wes Welker was Wes Welker. Tough.
Outstanding! And I say that even as a huge Wes Welker fan (despite his turn to the dark side to go end his career with Lord Purple Forehead)
It’s always funny knowing that Welker played in 3 different Super Bowls with the 2 greatest QBs to ever play and not only failed to get a single ring out of it, but saw the potent offenses he was on fail to reach 20 in any of said games.
Where it gets sad is that he was also a coach on the 2019 San Francisco 49ers… Dude is actually cursed.
Okay, if it causes Cris Collinsworth pain, I’m willing to accept the Bengals losing the Super Bowl. If anything, it showed that having an Offensive Line that works offseason as Walmart Greeters and Revolving Doors doesn’t bode well for success and your franchise QB’s overall health.
Stopped reading after “Bury him in a pit in the ground.” He was the deciding factor on who I was going to root for.
“Now here’s a guy…”
Also the Bengals may have been jinxed before the playoffs began this season.
They dropped a game against Jets earlier that season and this along with doing the same against Tampa Bay tends to be bad luck for unknown reasons. The SB records for teams that dropped a game vs. Jets or Tampa Bay outside the occasions where they played each other? Enough said.
To think the Falcons came the closest to breaking that jinx and we all know how that ended.
Another fun fact – Rams are 2-0 with Al Michaels doing PxP. 0-3 otherwise.
(And a fun fact no one cares about – I grew up in the same town as Cris Collinsworth, as did comedian Daniel Tosh.)
Another random fun fact I found recently:
Since 2012, every team the 49ers has lost to in the playoffs has either won the Superbowl against them or gone on to win the Superbowl.
2012- Giants
2013- Ravens
2014- Seahawks
2020- Chiefs
2022- Rams
The more surprising thing to me as a somewhat younger NFL fan is that Collinsworth was a player for 8 years only (if my math and roman numeral reading skills dont completely fail me here)
Quite the career for someone with such a relatively short active time
They have a new coach and I had to google his name because I forgot. Zac Taylor. They should have hired Hue, at least they would be more interesting to watch with that disaster at the helm.
I will always be astounded that he’s both managed to make the Super Bowl and has what should be one of easier to remember names among NFL coaches and yet I still have to strain my brain to remember anything about him. There should be constant jokes around his name (like if they get off to a poor start there should be jokes about his game plan looking “rough and unready”), yet say Coach Taylor and I’ll still automatically think of Kyle Chandler instead.
“They have a new coach and I had to google his name because I forgot. Zac Taylor. They should have hired Hue, at least they would be more interesting to watch with that disaster at the helm.”
– Dave Rappoccio, 2019