Richie Incognito Retires
Richie “the Dick in Disguise” Incognito. Farewell asshole. I hope you get the help you need.
After many years, the 34 year old who still has the face of a 13 year old fat douchebag Sean Astin has finally decided he no longer wants to terrorize young teammates and is hanging it up. Can’t say I’ll miss the guy. The Bills will. He was a solid anchor on that line and now whatever rookie they panic and wager their future draft picks for in two weeks is going to have it that much harder.
Richie was like the exact stereotype of big dumb rude football jock you see in every movie with high school nerds. The QB’s stupid lunkhead muscleman. He was big, he was good at football, and he was a dumb dickhead. Richie never really found a true home in the NFL despite being good enough to warrant one because he was such a douche. He basically got kicked off of Nebraska for being an uncontrolled ball of rude. The Rams fined him and let him walk after many infractions. The Bills signed him and then let him walk at the end of the season. He seemed to find some redemption in Miami, then the Jon Martin stuff happened. He actually managed to come back to the league after a year off, showing that if you can play football it doesn’t matter how much distraction you cause, a team will sign you. Unless you take a knee while black, apparently.
He spent the remaining years with the Bills playing fine football and occasionally still being a dick. This past week he has apparently had enough. He fired his agent over twitter (lol) and then told Vic Carucci the quotes in the first panel. It’s hard to not at least feel a little bit sad for the guy. Nobody can accuse Richie of being soft, but the years of hard living and painkillers have clearly taken their toll if his liver and kidneys are failing. He’ll probably be in physical pain for the rest of his life. Hopefully he gets some help to deal with whatever is wrong with his brain. Richie is the kind of guy who would have a youtube show where he teabags random friends and then goes up to strangers and hits them, using “IT’S JUST A PRANK” afterward.
I’ll only have so much sympathy for a notorious craphead. Richie wants to be in the Hall of Fame. Nah. Even if you removed the personality drama and looked at his football efforts, he wasn’t good enough. He’s been a fine lineman. Nothing more. Add in the rest of the Richie package and hell no. The only hall he belongs near is the Bully Hall of Fame, which you have to force your way into. He’s got the right stuff. I don’t think all of his treatment of Jon Martin was intended as malicious, but he was such a dumbass dickhole that if he really did want to help Martin he took the completely wrong approach. Martin clearly has his own problems, but Richie probably made them worse.
Quick aside, I never made a comic about the recent Martin news because it just wasn’t funny. It was just really depressing. Part of me hopes Richie saw that news and realized that he made some mistakes with Martin, but something tells me he saw it and just bragged about how he was right the whole time about him.
Farewell, Richie. You can visit all the strip clubs forever now. I expect you to have gone broke within 3 years. I also sincerely hope you get better.
EDIT: He just said “Made Ya Look” on twitter, apparently it was all a lie, go fuck your own face, Richie
His face is more punchable than Kevin Kolb’s.
But not as much as punchable as Sam Darnold’s or bolo tie Phillip River’s.
Leave Super Bob Newby out of this.
Piss off Incognito, you dead-eyed fuck, I’VE got more right to be in the HOF than you.
#Whirlwound2019
Incognito isn’t as much of a piece of shit as Ray Lewis
Careful, Lewis might hear this and then you will disappear
Don’t worry Dave, I’m gonna go Incognito
Vick murdered puppies while black according to the popular knowledge of him and he got a second chance. Keep never got his because he wasn’t good enough to offset the distraction factor. Also probably he never will because rather than take his sabbatical, he chose to burn that bridge and go for a lawsuit he was never going to win.
Also fuck Incognito. I hope he lives in pain for the rest of his hopefully short life. Not because of Martin, who didn’t have any business being a second-round pick or an NFL player even with that mentality, but because of the sexual abuse of the woman at the charity golf event, which everyone seems to forget about.
+1, thumbs up.
Another thing too, the last report I heard about Collin Kaepernick being a free agent is that he won’t sign a deal that is less than 10 mil a year and a chance to start. Thats probably why he’s not being signed, he’s asking for too much money.
That report is a year old and was fairly suspicious to begin with. Nobody actually knows what Kaep is asking for because he can’t even seem to get interviewed with a team anymore. I highly doubt he’s demanding that much after not getting a sniff for a year.
Schefter just said that he was going to have a workout in Seattle but they turned him down when he said he would keep kneeling. It’s the anthem thing, I don’t know how anyone can assume that it isn’t at this point.
It’s both anthem and play. If black RG3 (aka, not sexy rexy) when healthy, Cam, or Russell Willson started the kneeling, they’d still be playing because their play is good enough to offset that distraction. Hell, Ray Lewis murdered a guy and won Superb Owl MVP the next year. And Rapelesburger (who should be rotting more than anyone else here) did the same.
Considering the hate Cam got for dancing during his MVP season, I actually wonder about that.
Also it doesn’t feel right to compare Kaep to Lewis or Big Ben. Kaep didn’t commit a crime, he took a stance. NFL teams seem very willing to write off “one time crime mistakes” for talent. They seem to actively dislike this in a completely different way. I’ve never seen anything like this before, not even Tebow felt like this, because Tebow’s distraction was basically due to overwhelming positivity from his fans.
Yea but he also lost his job to Blain Gabbert. I’d have more feels for him if that portion of his career never happened.
I don’t think saying he lost his job to Blaine Gabbert is quite fair. That was the 49ers Turmoil post-Harbaugh year where the team was a total mess, Kaepernick had a shoulder injury and was dealing with awful coaches. He got benched and then got shoulder surgery. When he finally became healthy to play again, he was far superior to Gabbert, but he’d started to be controversial by that point and the team was such a dump it didn’t produce wins so nobody noticed.
Fuck Kaep.
Marry Eli, Kill Brady
Even better, film the latter and air it in New England.
Get the popcorn ready and…
Vick served his debt to society. That doesn’t mean anything in relation to Kaep, but the whole “how dare the NFL take back the dog killer” stuff has to stop. That’s not how the justice system works. He served his time and returns to contributing to society, if your pissed the law doesn’t punish animal abuse hard enough that’s one thing, but wanting excons to not be able to be employed would just make for more homeless, more crime, and a worse society.
Is his name top 5 all time for the NFL? I think its at least up there with Ron Mexico?
D’Brickashaw Fergusen
Dick Butkus
Barkevious Mingo
Colt McCoy
Bacarri Rambo
I dunno. Maybe top 10.
Fair Hooker
Even if you ignore the fact that he assholed his way off two NFL teams… no. Just, no. He is to offensive linemen was Julius Jones is to runningbacks. What Bernard Berrien is to wide receivers. A guy that was there, and did his job, and was pretty well above-average, but nowhere near Hall of Fame-level.
Julius Jones was never above average, I’d say Marion Barber fits more
You may not believe this, but I was actually thinking of Thomas Jones.
Thomas Jones is someone I’d believe to fit thst good, but not great. Although didn’t he eventually get over 10,000 rushing yards?
Don’t forget that trainer he shat all over for being asian. Fuck this guy forever.
I suppose I am completely biased, but we in WNY loved Richie. He was a big dumb jock, but he was OUR big dumb jock. Damn fine offensive lineman too. Enjoy retirement, big guy.
By all accounts, after the Jonathan Martin incident he got his counseling and has been a model teammate for the past 3 years. There was the incident from the playoff game last year where a player claimed he used a racial slur, but in the end not only his own teammates, but the opposing players and the NFL all said that nothing happened. Im not saying he was never an unapologetic jerk. But this is like if Suh went got anger management. People CAN change, even if its too late to change perceptions
I mean, there was also the report that he used racist language in the playoff game against Jacksonville. And I remember reading a happy puff piece on Richie’s “redemption” and how he’s calmed down and become a better person about two months before the Martin incident came out.
Maybe he’s improved, but he hasn’t really earned the benefit of the doubt yet.
He’s always been a dick and he probably will be for the rest of his horrible fucking life. Even if he played like Jeff Saturday, his past will always be the reason people like him won’t get in the HoF. The same will go for Adrian Peterson and Michael Vick. Players like them performed at amazing levels in their careers but will always be shunned for their shady past.
Peterson will likely get in. There are worse people in the HOF. There are also RBs with less production. It’s the hall of fame, not the hall of nice. Vick had too big of a gap in his career due to prison, and no championships (which is the biggest deal for QBs according to voters apparently). He’s not getting in.
Incognito? LOL. He was solid for awhile. But nowhere near dominant enough.
I’m pretty sure Marino, Kelly, and Moon are the only qbs in the Hall with 0 championships.
So I guess Fouts and Tarkenton doesn’t exist.
Tarkenton sad.
Also go further back there’s YA Tittle.
Here’s hoping Rivers will be included as well.
HOF QB Ringless Rivers.
I know the HoF isn’t about being nice, but voters are always gonna look at their pasts and deny them the vote because of what they’ve done
Yeah, I sometimes suspect this could be by Parcells was screwed out of the first ballot…but then again there’s also not knowing if he’s retired or not but even that wasn’t a good enough excuse for this.
LT seems to be among the exceptions however for obvious reasons, it’s friggin’ LT. Even if he got in trouble with that underaged prostitute much earlier, he might still have a shot at first ballot (though I have issues with how the media focused on the fact that the girl was underaged rather than that she was also working as a prostitute for some reason).
It depends on the transgression I think. Vick isn’t touching the HoF anyway, his career highs were very short and he wasn’t around long enough to put up big career numbers. Peterson is 100% gonna go in. A lot of people didn’t even see what he did as abuse, just discipline, and outside that he doesn’t cause trouble, plus he’s had a stellar career outside the lack of SB wins.
Just a thought, do you think Tyrer would have made it if it weren’t for the murder suicide he did?
Looking at his stats, honestly probably. But murder is a kind of line that is uncrossable.
Arena vid: https://youtu.be/RWdcAMvCLl8
Any Incognito jokes to go around? His name alone has tons of potential for this.