Whelp, I guess we’ve answered the question of who was most important to the Patriots success for 20 years. It was Tom. I could continue my delightful trolling ways and come at you with arguments like “Well he threw 3 picks, the Packers just failed to punish them” and “He made a super team in Tampa, stick him on a bad roster and see how he does”, I won’t. There’s no point to even faking it anymore. I’ve pretty much accepted it since around ring #5, but there’s no fun in even pretending now. He’s the best. No one else will ever accomplish half of what Brady has done. He’s still not my favorite QB to watch. I’ve never found his game as compelling as Rodgers, or Peyton, or Marino, but there’s something to be said that he just…always does it. Always finds his way. It is very irritating. At least now he’s in a different uniform and that’s honestly kinda fun. Super teams can be fun when they work.

Also the Chiefs won. They kinda look unstoppable. Not every team can be down two scores and still feel like they are still kinda ahead.

LET US BID ADIEU TO OUR LOSERS

PACKERS – The Packers and the Saints are the same team. They won a championship early in the decade and have spent the rest of the decade getting embarrassed in the playoffs. This Packers team played like cowards in yet another NFCCG. That field goal with 2 minutes left? Absolute astonishment. Cowardice of the highest order. It is a shame that the Refs suddenly decided to call PI on that final play when they had avoided throwing the flag all game, making the call part of the story of the loss when it didn’t need to be, but the Packers lost this. Brady tried to give them the win with 3 picks and they failed to convert 2 of them into points. How often do you get Brady picks? You gotta capitalize. In the end, the Packers have once again had a deep playoff run before being exposed as frauds. Rodgers expressed a lot of frustration after the game and I can’t blame him. There is speculation he might leave now. I don’t see it happening, but now it’s a storyline thanks to how bad that game went.

BILLS – A poor end to a great season. Unlike the Packers, the Bills were even more cowardly with their field goals and never came close. The Bills played to lose, especially early on. You can’t take field goals against the Chiefs. You have to go for the throat. But even if they had, the Chiefs were just too strong and the Bills looked outmatched. But this was a small blemish on a great season that sets the franchise up to be contenders for some time. Josh Allen took the next step and became a legitimately great QB this year, proving the haters wrong. Diggs was a godsend to the offense and one of the best receivers all year. The defense is still stout. The coaching, despite this game, is on point. The Bills were a blast to watch this year, second only to the Browns in feel-good season story. Good for you, Bills. I hope this year wasn’t a fluke.

PICS!

Bonus Andy Reid as a Plandypus because that was all I could think of when I saw his mask.

 

THE SUPER BOWL PICK
I think most signs point to the Chiefs. They just turn it on like no one else can seemingly at will. The Bucs look great at times but at other times they look like they did in the second half against the Packers. They appear out of sync. Brady throws bad balls. The defense inexplicably gives up big plays. It still feels like a good team that hasn’t quite put it all together yet, which considering how far they’ve gone is rather terrifying. The Chiefs D showed up big against a frightening Bills O. I think the Chiefs have the edge on all fronts. Reid is a better coach than Arians. Mahomes, at this point, is a better QB than Brady. The Chiefs have a better run game. They have arguably worse weapons, but Kelce and Hill are still amazing. Defense is likely Chiefs. Chiefs have the better kicker.

But you can’t count out Touchdown Tom and I’m tired of trying to. I’ve learned my lesson. I’m rooting for the Chiefs. I think the Chiefs are better. But I’m picking the Bucs, because of that one stupid guy I’m so tired of.

One thing is for sure: the media fart huffing of Mahomes v Brady is going to be insufferable and the matchup of Tom Brady vs the defending champs from last year is the game I wanted the least. I’m going to stay the hell away from ESPN and the like for two weeks because the very idea of the discussion already makes me exhausted.

IF THE CHIEFS WIN, I WILL DRAW PATRICK MAHOMES CASTING OLD BRADY INTO THE ABYSS. THE FUTURE IS NOW, OLD MAN

IF THE BUCCANEERS WIN, I WILL DRAW TOM BRADY AS GALACTUS