The Draw Play

Happy Halloween! Amazing that for once, announcer news actually appeared to line up with my usual tradition of insulting them on the spookiest of holidays.

There is trouble in paradise. The longtime broadcasting pair of Troy Aikman and Joe Buck appears to be headed for divorce. ESPN has signed Joe Buck to a new contract, but has yet to make a deal with Aikman. Aikman appears to have taken umbrage with this and sees Buck’s deal as a backstab. Mommy and Daddy are fighting. ESPN is broadcasting the Super Bowl later this year, and it may be the final pairing of the two legends.

I do not know the specific office politics that have resulted in this rift. To me Buck getting a deal that is bigger and more comprehensive makes sense: he’s more important and he broadcasts more than just football games. Aikman absolutely seems like the dumpable party here or at least in a position to have to wait longer for negotiations. But maybe in their previous deals they worked together to earn their situation and that’s why Aikman feels betrayed. After all, when they made the jump to ESPN, they went together. Although if you remember, only Troy got the job first. Maybe back then Aikman made snagging Buck a part of his deal, and now that the contract tables are reversed, Buck didn’t offer Aikman the same. I can see why Troy would be personally hurt by that. Especially if Buck knew that ESPN was going to ditch him and didn’t give him a heads up.

I am honestly whatever about it. My opinion on the Buckman booth over the years has improved tremendously, but Troy is the weaker of the two and definitely the one I’d be less bothered about missing. I appreciated his tendency to shoot from the hip, not glaze players like Collinsworth or Romo did and actually criticize them when they went full bozo. But he also seemed to spend a good 10 minutes every game being mad at analytics. He’d mess up and stumble enough that people genuinely wonder if he’s got CTE brain.

What I want from the booth now is just our two gay dads sniping each other with casual comments as the relationship deteriorates. By the Super Bowl I want them straight up insulting each other. “Oh that was a really good pass, almost as good as ESPN passing on renewing your contract, Troy!” Just pure venom. It’ll be must-see TV.

There is also a chance this is all a negotiation tactic by Aikman to get a new deal, so we’ll see. If the pair stay together for us kids, that’ll be fine. With Tony Romo now out of the picture all we really need to do is install a shock collar on Collinsworth that the producer can hit anytime he’s about to talk about Mahomes. If Aikman does indeed vanish from our games, rumors that Greg Olsen would replace him are high and that would be fine by me. Give Olsen an A-team booth again. We are entering a solid era for announcers. Brady is actually good at it now, Watt is much more pleasant than Romo and a Buck/Olsen team would be excellent. Just rein in the Collinsworth glazing, put Al Michaels out of his misery and bury Herbstreit alive in his coffin, and we cookin. Oh and punt McAfee and Stephen A. off a cliff for good measure. Just to be safe.