Packers fans, maybe just don’t read this blog post. It won’t make you happy. I take no responsibility for your tears beyond this point.

Several times over the last few years I’ve made note of how the Saints have effectively spent a decade post-Super Bowl flaming out in spectacular fashion. In a world where long career players are defined by narrative as much they are by numbers, Drew Brees is essentially incredibly lucky he got that ring in 2009, because otherwise he’d be Dan Marino. The Saints have spent the rest of his tenure disappointing everyone when it mattered most.

In the past couple of seasons, it has become clear that the Packers are the exact same thing, yet somehow even worse about it. The Saints can at least point to several nonsense flukes that knocked them out of the playoffs. The non-PI call, the Minneapolis Miracle, the Beastmode run, the Catch III…all crazy nonsense that even now seems absurd to see happen to the same team. The Packers have no such luxury. They have spent the past decade with arguably the best QB of the 2010’s reaching deep into the playoffs and then losing in embarrassing fashion. None of the losses have the flair of the Saints disasters except for one (the Bostick onside drop), which arguably was just the capstone to a historic collapse.

The Packers have been heels for a long time and many of us hate them for their incredible stroke of HoF fortune. 30 years of HoF QB play is something no team can imagine having, yet for 30 years of the most important position being solved, they have 2 rings and a third championship appearance to show for it. That’s honestly pretty pathetic. Let’s rub salt in the wound and dig into this delicious cheesy schadenfreude by looking at how they’ve wasted the past 10 seasons.

In 2010 the Pack were a miracle. They barely even made the playoffs as a 6th seed, squeaking in via tiebreaker over the Giants. They were injured and still went on an absolute tear and became America’s heroes when they stopped the Ben Roethlisberger Rape Redemption Tour in the final game. Most of us rejoiced. For the Pack, things looked bright. Rodgers proved he could do it. They had a great defense backing him up. This team was gonna roll. And roll they did.

In 2011 they went 15-1, with the one loss being a fluke nonsense loss to a terrible Chiefs squad. Rodgers was the clear MVP and the team looked unbelievable. They earned the #1 seed and probably laughed when they found out they were playing the Giants in the divisional round. The Giants were 9-7, had no run game, had an injured defense, and dragged themselves into the playoffs via Eli and his two WRs. The Packers had already beaten them once that year. This would be a smackdown. Instead, the Packers couldn’t catch a cold all day and the Giants caught everything, including a halftime hail mary to Hakeem Nicks. Look how bad that coverage is; Nicks barely has to fight for it. Even with some bullshit ref help on a fumble and a terrible roughing the passer call, the Packers just never really looked good, and the best team in the NFL ate shit to a team nobody but Giants fans respect.

In 2012, they weren’t quite as good, but they still won the NFCN and got to beat the fuck out of Joe Webb in the wildcard round. They then went to face the mighty Kaepernick-driven 49ers, and Kaepernick stunted on those hoes. I think we all forget just how fast Kaepernick was. Watching Kaep’s lanky ass gazelle strut down the field and kiss his bicep was amazing television and it was only funnier for how mad it made Clay Matthews.

In 2013 Rodgers got hurt and the team struggled. Thankfully, the Chicago Bears were the Chicago Bears and fumbled their chance to win the division, with Rodgers coming back late to seal it off. This was the beginning of the “Packers are nothing without Rodgers” era of jokes, because it was true. But the Packers now had a healthy Rodgers and a playoff birth. Who did they face in the wildcard round? Colin Kaepernick! But this time the game was in Lambeau. This time the Packers had experience with Kaep. This time Mycah Hyde could…drop the probable game winning INT with 4 minutes left and then the 49ers march the ball, eat the clock, and send the Packers to hell for the second year in a row.

In 2014 things got better. They were 12-4 and only missed out on the #1 seed due to tiebreakers. They squeak out a close one against the Dallas Cowboys, which all of us can appreciate, only to get the chance to face the mighty defending champion and #1 seed Seattle Seahawks in the NFCCG. And boy, do things start out well for the Packers in that one! Anyone rooting against Seattle in that game was having a great time. Russ threw several terrible picks and the Packers jump out to a nice lead early, and with 3 minutes left in the game, are winning 19-7. Seattle’s only points have come on a fake field goal. The Packers picked off Russ with 5 minutes left. Then disaster strikes. The Hawks score before the 2 minute warning, and then Brandon Bostick completely wiffs the onside kick. Seattle goes ahead with almost 2 minutes left. The Packers manage a field goal to reach overtime, and then whatever hope was left is immediately nuked by Russ going deep twice for the walk-off. An astounding collapse that will echo through the ages.

2015? It was a bit of a wild ride. The Pack finally beat Colin Kaepernick, but also lost to the Lions at home for the first time since 1991. On Brett Favre night the Bears embarrassed them at home. However, the second Lions game ended with an unbelievable hail mary that proved to be a harbinger of things to come. The Packers managed 2nd in the NFC north and easily got a wildcard berth. They got to beat the snot out of the Washington (Redacted) in the wildcard round. They went to Arizona to face the Carson Palmer Cards and were subjected to quite possibly Larry Fitzgerald’s most iconic performance. The Cardinals went ahead late thanks to a tip drill from Larry into a different Cardinal’s hands. This absolute classic of a game that is probably one of the top 10 playoff games of the 2010’s featured Rodgers making essentially 2 hail marys to Jeff Janis to force overtime. Then for the second year in a row, the Packers never got the ball as Larry got incredibly open and ran most of the field to set up a shovel pass TD walk-off. The mighty Rodgers magic was once again wasted.

2016 the team pulled it together again and this time things looked like they were finally working in the Pack’s favor. After an up and down season featuring a 4-game losing streak, they faced the Giants in the wildcard round and this time it was the Giants who couldn’t catch a cold, because all their wide receivers left their talent on a boat Miami. Then they go and have another absolute classic divisional round game, this time against the mighty Cowboys led by the Dak-Zeke nightmare combo that tore up the league. They get off to an amazing start in Dallas…and then things begin to fall apart. But after a Dallas comeback ties it up late, Rodgers throws a bullet to Jared Cook to make a sideline catch and Mason Crosby prevents the Packers from befalling the same overtime fate of the past two years. It felt like the Packers had shaken off some demons. They now had a chance to keep this train rolling in Atlanta. The final score doesn’t do the game justice. The Packers never stood a chance. The Falcons annihilated them so thoroughly that it isn’t even worth linking the highlights. But I will anyway. Enjoy the last time you were truly happy, Falcons fans.

In 2017 things fell apart and the Packers missed the playoffs for the first time that decade. It was wonderful. Things got even uglier the next year as the McCarthy/Rodgers feud reached a fever pitch and everything exploded. The Packers looked like their time as contenders had started to come to an end. Rodgers was old, the team was a mess, and the new coaching hire was some guy from the Titans nobody cared about.

In 2019, things got back to where they belonged in Green Bay. Despite never looking like genuine contenders all year, the defense was stout, the run game was good, and Rodgers seemed happy. They snagged the #2 seed seemingly out of nowhere and we realized we had to take this team seriously as they beat the Seahawks to once again defeat some past demons. They came up against the mighty 49ers once more, and this demon they did not beat. The 2019 NFCCG was just as embarrassing as the previous one, as the stifling defense of the 9ers crushed the Pack into oblivion, confirming that they were frauds all along.

For 2020, Rodgers was mad. He was going to be 37. He needed pass catchers. The Packers needed some help in the secondary. The Packers, 3 months removed from a championship appearance and with an aging Hall of Fame QB, decided to draft like a rebuilding franchise, taking a QB (?!?!) in the first and a backup RB (?!?!?!?!?!) in the second, addressing none of what Rodgers wanted. Nevertheless, Rodgers runs on spite, and the Packers rolled once more. They earned the #1 seed and looked far less fraudulent this season. They handily smothered the Rams in the divisional round, styling all over the (injured, but still) #1 defense in the league. Now they got to face old man Tom for a chance to go to the dance. We all watched the game. The Packers fell flat on their face. They let Tampa get out to a nice lead and then failed to truly capitalize on the Bucs mistakes in the second half. They got close, but one bad jersey pull by the one DB who had been owned badly all game summed it up. The Packers have now gone to 4 NFCCGs in the past decade, and they lost all of them.

In this entire time, they never faced the Saints. These two teams, along with the Seahawks, spent the entire 2010’s decade as the mainstays of the NFC, the class of the conference. Despite this, none of them have more than one ring to show for it. Only the Seahawks even made it back a second time. The Packers are a textbook example of how a great QB does not solve all problems. An entire decade feels wasted.

Here is a fun fact to the Packers decade of failures: Of every team they have lost to, only the 2011 Giants actually won the Super Bowl. This may change with the Bucs in two weeks, but the 49ers, Seahawks, Cardinals, and Falcons all went on to lose. The Packers can’t even say they were beaten by the best, because only the Giants actually did it, and nobody would call the 2011 Giants the best, not even me.

One last fun fact to Packers misery. Rodgers is famous for being furious that the 49ers didn’t take him #1 overall. It was the main chip on his shoulder for so many years. In the past decade, he has been denied another championship by the 49ers…three times. Hilarious.

Can’t wait to see if they fuck it up next season too. No Pack, no.