The Lord of the Cheeks: Return of the Dumpy
“You could not live with your own failure. Where did that bring you? Back to me.”
– Thanos
– Kirk Cousins
The Vikings had no real other option. The Kyler experiment failed. Carson Wentz put up one of the worst games of football you will ever watch against Buffalo. Max Brosmer is Min Brosmer. They gave up JJ. They have an elite defense that is being absolutely wasted by an offense that is whatever the opposite of elite is. If the Vikings want to salvage this season, they need something viable at QB. They chose: Kirko Chainz. The Dumpy has returned to the place he belongs the most.
I don’t think it is going to work. Kirk, as he currently exists, is a step up from the bums they already had, but it isn’t a big step. What is worse is his lack of mobility. The Vikings offensive line deserves a fair share of the blame for the offensive woes and Kirk is not mobile enough to escape it. He may very well end up dead on the turf before his first game back is over.
But what choice does Minnesota have? They called about Herbert (unlikely to be given up in the first place and right now he looks awful behind another bad offensive line), Geno (who I actually think would have been a good fit, but the Jets have nobody else to replace him), and Daniel Jones (lol, but at least he’s mobile and familiar with the system). They took ol’ dumpster. Kirk had his greatest success in this system. If he can read the defense and throw the ball to Jetta, he’s an upgrade. If he can get this idiot offense to mediocre, the team becomes viable. The Vikings have no other choice. KOC has played his last card. If this doesn’t work, I can’t see him keeping his job. Maybe the move is to just replace him with Flores.
In the meantime, I’m happy to see Dumpy back in purple. One last ride for the Kirko.

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