So 4 games have yet to be played due to multiple teams getting hit hard by positive covid tests. Doesn’t feel right to complete this post and type out every pick with so many games still on the line. So the final version of this post will be updated for Wednesday and on Friday I will be doing the Christmas Cards! So, weird week. Also, I’ll be taking next week off to enjoy the holiday week before the new year, but I’ll still do the Picks post, just no comics.

Things we can say: the Cardinals are frauding again. Little miss hotshot team started strong and fell apart last year to miss the playoffs. They probably won too much so far this year to pull that off again, but it’s hard to not be worried about this franchise after losing to the Lions in such an embarrassing fashion. The Lions are a JV team and they stomped the Cardinals. Jared Goff styled on the birds. The Cardinals were playing to clinch a playoff berth and have yet to lose a game on the road this year, and boom. A disgrace. Losing to the Rams is one thing. Losing to the Lions should be a massive red flag.

The Patriots finally dropped the game I was expecting them to. They have a bad run defense and while this is still a solid team overall, they aren’t invincible. The Chiefs are now back on top the conference after that slow start. At least the Chargers are making it interesting.

I think the Titans and the Ravens are probably toasted come the playoffs unless they play each other. Both are well-coached franchises that are just depleted and dealing with too many handicaps.

The Giants clinched their fifth 10-loss season in a row. Ben McAdoo is the best coach we’ve had in the post-Coughlin era. We’re back in the 70’s. This is probably the least interested I’ve been in my own team since…ever? I feel bad for all the players and I just want to see what mediocre hires we make next so I can look forward to that falling apart by 2024 too. Absolute apathy. I watched 2 minutes of the game against the Cowboys and then flipped over to watch the Lions instead. If I didn’t have a passion for football overall I’d be doing something else with my Sundays until this team does something worthwhile. I don’t even want to touch the whole Free Medium Soda for Season Ticket holders thing, that was a Snyder-esque level of fan insult and it’s depressing to see us fall that far.

Urban Meyer called his coaching staff a bunch of losers even though he hired them. He appears to be right though. The Jags couldn’t even beat the Texans with the post-firing win bump.

I did pretty good so far, and if I get more wrong after this it will be updated by Wed.

UPDATE: I got all the remaining 4 games right so I could have just made the post Monday, lol.

This week might also go screwy thanks to the NFL having a full-on Covid outbreak. I may have to adjust my picks accordingly.

The 49ers are surging into the playoffs a strong contender to potentially make some noise. Maybe not Super Bowl levels of noise, but upset someone in the wildcard levels of noise. The Titans are floundering around, waiting to die. I feel robbed of what should have been the Derrick Henry destruction season.
If the Titans win, I will draw Ryan Tannehill as a country music santa

Poor Browns, man. They got slammed with injuries this year as well as a Covid outbreak, and they also got hit with a tough schedule. They are technically in last place at 7-7. They picked the wrong time in the division to be good. The Packers are doing just fine.
If the Browns win, I will draw Flo from Progressive choking Jake From State Farm with xmas lights

The Colts are surging, the Cardinals are struggling. I’m going for the upset pick.
If the Cardinals win, I will draw Cardinal Murray on a xmas tree

The Lions shocked the league last week. That was probably a fluke trap game though, and I expect the perfectly lame Falcons to win a meaningless game to ruin their draft spot a bit more.
If the Lions win, I will draw Dan Campbell cooking a falcon for xmas dinner

The Vikings are a team of chaos this year and they have experience versus Stafford, but I can’t pick the Vikings to win this.
If the Vikings win, I will draw Kirk’s Phat Dumpy not making it down the chimney

The Jags couldn’t even win without the burden of Urban. The Jets need something positive and they kinda gave Miami a fight.
If the Jags win, I will draw Trevor Lawrence peeing “fuck u Urbs” in the snow

If the Giants throw Mike Glennon out there again I might throw up. At least give Fromm a chance to suck.
If the Giants win, I will draw a festive Joe Judge holding a Charlie Brown xmas tree with a W on it

The Bills have crumbled under the expectations of being a contender. The Patriots stayed the course and are the better team. Maybe we’ll actually see some passing this time.
If the Bills win, I will draw Josh Allen as santa, his sleigh a wagon, and the reindeer as buffalo

The Ravens keep staying in games despite being so depleted it is almost inspiring. I wish they’d actually win a couple of these 2pt conversion attempts though so the anti-stat boomer crowd will stop acting smug about it. Going for 2 to win the game owns.
If the Ravens win, I will draw Christmas Crab doing a jig

Sorry Texans, back to the loser pit with you
If the Texans win, I will draw Jack Easterby as krampus

The Bucs are losing their weapons but lucky for them, the Panthers have no idea what they are doing
If the Panthers win, I will draw Cam Newton laughing at Tom Brady, with tongue stuck to a telephone pole

The Seahawks clinched their first losing season with Russ. The Bears are just going through the motions. Somebody has to win this? Go Hawks I guess.
If the Bears win, I will draw child Justin Fields opening a present of Matt Nagy being fired soon

The Raiders don’t get enough credit for collapsing in the second half of the season on a regular basis.
If the Raiders win, I will draw Derek Carr using his red rider BB gun to shoot Drew Lock’s eye out

The Steelers are destined to finish 8-8-1. They are currently 7-6-1. This will put them at 7-7-1.
If the Steelers win, I will draw Ben roasting Chiefnuts on an open fire

This matchup a couple of weeks ago was hilariously one-sided. I doubt this week goes any better, and this time it is in Dallas.
If the TEAM wins, I will draw the FedEx sewage leak turning into a beautiful icicle display

The Dolphins gotta win everything they can if they want that chance. This is when it gets hard. The Saints, Titans, and Patriots will test this team’s actual abilities. I think this is where the climb plateaus and the hole they dug themselves proves too deep.
If the Dolphins win, I will draw a Dolphin spurting Happy HoliDolphins out of it’s blowhole

Also, since many of these games will be happening the Sunday after xmas, the post will likely be delayed till Tuesday.