Weather Football Rules
I spoke about weather games on the Monday Chaos Report but it’s a subject that’s been on my mind for a while so I figured I may as well make a full-blown rant about it so I have something to link to whenever I get stuck in the same argument down the road.
There are people who hate weather games. Who cry when the snow flurries fall. Who whine when the rain bogs the field. They demand all football to be best played in a climate-controlled dome. I call them Domers. This is an opinion I simply cannot abide. Weather games rule.
The opinion seems to stem from a desire for purity. Pure football. Minimal variables. Somehow the domers have convinced themselves that the football is always best this way. These other factors? Distraction. Problems. It only makes the football worse. I see what they mean by it. Weather dampens the football quality. Things get sloppy. Playbooks get minimized. Depending on how bad the weather gets, the functionality of the play decreases significantly. If you like flashy plays and such, weather gets in the way. I’m not going to disagree with that. The Denver/Patriots game got pretty ugly.
The thing is, that game sucked before the snow fell too. In fact, the two major plays that ultimately decided the game (The bad 4th down call and Stidham’s idiotic fumble) both occurred before the blizzard. This isn’t new. I have seen an untold amount of shitty boring football played in climate-controlled perfection. In 2023 the Vikings and Raiders combined for one of the worst football games you will ever watch in the pleasant comfort of the Las Vegas Roomba. I have seen some amazing football played in garbage conditions. Last season, the Browns and Steelers played in a heavy snow game and it was one of the best games of the year. This is the main reason I have a problem with the Domer mentality.
Weather doesn’t make a game worse. It makes a game different. It changes the dynamics at play. It introduces a heavy new variable to the mix that both teams now have to adapt to and overcome, and seeing how they do so is the thrill. It adds a thick level of tension to the experience because now a single mistake or big play can be the entire game. What is Sean Payton going to do now that half his playbook is neutered? Well, that’s why I’m here. To find out! I love that weather makes kicking harder. Have you seen what the new K-ball rules have done to our sport? The 40-yard line is scoring range now. I hate that more than I hate a blizzard. Make Kickers suffer again. The Broncos lining up for field goals in the AFCCG was so much more tense because of the wind.
As someone said in the comments of the Chaos report, would anyone remember the Steelers/Dolphins mud punt game without the weather causing the mud punt? Would anyone remember LeSean McCoy running roughshod over the Lions like he was the only player not in a snow game…if it wasn’t a snow game? I can’t remember the last time bad weather made a game less memorable. Football in bad weather is a feast for the eyes, even when you can’t tell where the ball is. Football is a game about order and structure, and that’s why chaos factors make it more fun.
The Domer mentality feels misguided to me. This desire for only the best possible product as if that can actually be achieved by ripping out the chaos and the spice. That’s why the comic above is a ridiculous representation of a slippery slope argument. If weather is a variable that hurts the product, then so are several other things that require addressing. Why are we okay with crowd noise and home field advantages, doesn’t that hurt the on-field product too? In a way that is one-sided? At least weather doesn’t discriminate. You could follow this logic so far up your own ass that you turn into a human Möbius strip.
Domers talk as if they dream of the 2020 NBA bubble playoffs as the ideal of sport. This weird focus on how perfect things need to be to get the best, most distilled essence of football. Fox only, No Items, Final Destination. To me that just removes so much of what makes football great in the first place. The imperfections of art often define it. AI Art is a soulless husk not because it’s bad to look at (at this stage, much of it is perfectly passable), but because it lacks the elements that make it unique and human, and you can tell it’s missing something. Also really annoying people tout it as the future.
Denny Carter, the individual I have decided to playfully lampoon in the comic above and who is generally a writer/analyst and person I like a lot, happens to be a Domer. I feel like the rise of Domers has coincided with the rise of data analysts and stat nerds. To folks like that, weather is a problem. You cannot slot weather’s impact on a game into DVOA or QBR. When you view football through the lens of analytics, or fantasy (Where offensive numbers going up is the goal), weather can only damage your perception. So I kinda get why they hate it. Data nerds hate variables they cannot account for.
Mina Kimes, another prominent Domer (and the one that I’m most disappointed in for being a Domer), is also an analyst who discusses film and numbers a lot. Weather hurts these folks perceptions because they want to watch the players and strategies working as intended. That’s why she’s getting actively snippy about it while the rest of us are just having a good time watching players slip and fall down because things not going as intended is very entertaining. The Patriots had two players slip like they stepped on banana peels in one play. We had yakitey sax ass football on our screen and you are trying to make me feel bad about liking this? This is peak.
The funny part is out of the two Championship games, I remember the Den/NE game significantly more than the Sea/LA game. Most people, myself included, would say the NFCCG was a better football game. But that’s kind of it. It was a very good football game. The AFCCG was stupid…but it was memorable. It was ugly. It was silly. It was beautiful. It had the spice. It had the flavors. It had the vibes.
I know my own biases are also at play here. I do not watch football for the numbers or the data or the hardcore film analysis. I’m here for humanity. I love the unexpected, the stories, the comedy, the chaos. To me that’s what makes sports worth watching. Weather only enhances that experience. I know it’s the same for a lot of people, because anytime a prominent Domer makes a Domer post, they get lots and lots of comments telling them to shut up.
The Super Bowl being a neutral site to reduce weather chances makes sense and I have no problems with it, even if part of me really does want to watch a Super Bowl in a frozen Lambeau field. It’s the final game, the ultimate moment, it should be with no items on final destination and as pure as we can make it. But that’s because it’s special. I also wish stadiums could find ways to shield fans from the weather as best as they can without covering the stadium, because sitting in the rain or snow in the stands does suck.
So that’s my death hill for this week. You will take my weather games from me over my cold, trapped in a blizzard body. You will never convince me snow detracts from the football experience. You will never get me to not laugh when a monsoon game causes a player to slide 10 yards on a tackle and come up looking like a WW1 soldier in no man’s land. Tom Coughlin’s frostbit nose in the 2007 NFCCG is one of the most treasured images of my fandom. Weather games rule.
As I’ve said elsewhere: These choads got what they wanted during the COVID season. And it sucked.
Snow games aren’t boring. You know what is? A Titans-Jets Primetime game
What’s double funny with Mina Kimes is that she is a seahawks fan that does not play in a dome and in fact might benefit from not playing in a dome
The domer opinion is very closely related to the opinion that the best team must always win the championship. It’s the same opinion that has tainted college football for decades. It’s the belief that, in a game where we always say “any given Sunday” to describe the chaotic and unpredictable nature of the game, somehow there needs to be a mechanism for filtering through teams until we find the indisputably best one.
These people always fail to come up with an answer when you ask what “best team” means. More talented? Better coached? More athletic? Smarter? All of the above? Even if you could come up with a clear answer, there is no way to guarantee the best team wins any given game. Hell, the team with the worst record in football this year beat a team that is super bowl bound. Are the raiders better than the patriots?
Weather has been part of football for 100 years. To imply that it lessens the game when the game is, by it’s very nature, chaotic, is silly. If your team is only better than the other in a dome, then you’re not the better team.
Does this Denny character frequently wear a shirt that says chickpeas? Because garbanzo beans rock. If Dave’s ragging on them I might have to find me a new butt positive thrice weekly football webcomic.
Chickpeas are a staple for me. Excellent fiber and protein.
I like Denny as well but I’m team Dave on weather. Perhaps because I’m unlikely to ever visit the states again so sitting in freezing rain as a fan is no longer a risk /s
If you follow him on social you’ll know he just really likes Chickpeas as a bit, so the shirt is an in-joke
Endorsement with hummus when?
Even though I am pro-chaos, I kinda understand the Domer point. NFL Football is supposed to be the highest, most elite level of football. Fans watch the NFL to see the best players doing super-human feats.
If all you wanted to watch was a football game with “humanity” and wacky sloppy chaos, then just watch any random high school football game. Or just watch some toddlers crawl all over each other chasing a ball. You don’t *need* the NFL if you just want to see people slipping and falling down.
I think the fun comes from watching elite professional athletes stumbling around like the rest of us. It’s not that interesting to watch the community beer leaguers doing Yakety Sax around the local public park playing flag football.
In other words, lets baby them.
“Fans watch the NFL to see the best players doing super-human feats.” Some fans do, some fans watch for other things. Me, I like a 25 play, 90 yard, 8 minute drive where no play gains more than 5 yards. By the end of the drive, the tension is through the roof.
Plus the weather adds to the tension as well, the OP doesn’t sound like pro-chaos given how he wants to liken them to high school game so his overall logic sounds like a straw man arguing for humans to be replaced with robots.
You dont exist
What if we had the Super Bowl at a neutral stadium, but that stadium was a special (outdoor) stadium in Alaska? Like an evil version of the pro bowl always being in Hawaii.
I’m the opposite of a domer. I heard the Chiefs are moving to a domed stadium & that honestly infuriates me more than the dynasty ever has, because Arrowhead is on the Mt Rushmore of (still existing) classic NFL stadiums, imo. I hope Mahomes abandons the NFL to become a professional unicyclist or something. The chiefs deserve to suffer for sacrificing their greatest natural advantage
Like, this is a game that we would play in our backyards as kids while the leaves were turning. I never played in any organized capacity, but that’s a core childhood memory for me. At the bare minimum, “real” football needs to be played in relatively cold conditions.
I guess I’m more sympathetic to dome teams that play in the south, because heatstroke is a much bigger threat than hypothermia, & because those teams aren’t sacrificing a natural home field advantage. This is particularly offensive with Kansas City, because Arrowhead isn’t just an outdoor venue, it’s an exceptionally loud outdoor venue. This is like showing up to a knife fight with a machine gun & trading it for a toy lightsaber
I grew up playing in a muddy sand lot, and then a muddy field. Playing football in the rain and mud was maybe the most fun we could have playing the game, it’s some of the defining moments of playing sports for me.
I just did some back of the envelope math & in my lifetime (29 years old) there have been twenty super bowls won by teams that play in outdoor, cold weather stadiums. If you count Baltimore and Seattle as “cold weather” environments, the number jumps up to 23, but I’m being generous to the domers. Tampa, the LA Rams, Baltimore, & Seattle are the only outdoor teams in warm environments to win. Only three were won by dome teams.
The only teams that have won multiple super bowls in close proximity to each other have been outdoor cold weather teams.
If you wanna be the lord of fantasy football, you play in a dome. If you wanna blow your inheritance on DraftKings, play in a dome. If you wanna win the Super Bowl, go put on some long Johns or something and go play outside
AND ONE MORE THING.
At risk of sounding like a toxic boomer, this is supposed to be a brutal sport where “boys become men”. As our awareness of CTE has grown, we have had to sacrifice a lot of the brutality that used to make the game fun, for very good reason. It’s no longer fun to watch a guy get his block knocked off. It’s scary & makes you feel guilty for continuing to watch this sport.
HOWEVER, supplementing the brutality of a head to head collision with the brutality of single digit temperatures is one way that we can keep the “tough guy” aspect of the sport that has had to become more obsolete.
I’m sure others can phrase this more eloquently
Also, for what it’s worth, Peyton is the only QB to play for a dome team who managed to beat a cold weather team in the Super Bowl.
Stafford did it too. Unless you don’t count Cincy as cold weather.
Cincy is definitely cold weather, but the LA Rams technically aren’t a dome team
I blame two Dans for the stereotypes that dome QBs can’t win without the perfect weather.
While true, I don’t think the cold weather was inherent to the patriots or chiefs dynasties, and those are the reason this number looks so impressive. Brady won on the buccs, and if he’d been there with a good coach his whole career he’d have won just as many. Same is true of Mahomes.
Brady certainly thrived in the snow but I don’t think he needed it to win 7 titles.
This is a good point, but it’s a trend even when you factor out New England/Tom Brady & Kansas City. The other teams that have multiple titles in my lifetime (1997*-present) have been Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Denver, New York Giants, Baltimore, Green Bay*, and the Rams. Baltimore is a borderline example of a cold weather city, but the Rams are the only solidly dome/warm weather team (not affiliated with Brady) to have multiple Super Bowl titles in my lifetime
*I was born a few days before the Green Bay vs New England Super Bowl
That’s an excellent point. I like it.
I was 12 years old and watched the Vikings lose to the Peckers 23-7 at the old Met Stadium with my dad. 0F at kickoff and a wind chill of -19F. Losing was bad enough, but that was way before modern fabrics, just lots of layers of cotton or wool that made everyone look like Michelin Men. The moisture ran down inside my galoshes and turned my feet into ice cubes by the end of the day. Lost my left pinkie toe to frostbite a week later. My mother was not impressed with me or my dad, and never missed a chance to remind us.
That was an argument against domes, by the way. That game changed me in many ways, and it made me a better person. Everyone suffered in the stands the same way as the players on the field did. Bud Grant refused to let his players use heaters of any kind to toughen them up, and we loved them for it. We were one with the team and our Purple People Eaters. Opposing teams from warmer climates looked genuinely frightened and miserable at the same time.
Domes suck.
As for my missing toe, it’s great. One fewer nail to trim and the shoes are more comfortable on my left. Recommended.
I agree Dave and it’s depressing how more and more stadiums are becoming domes. I love watching weather create choas. I’ll put on a game I don’t care about at all if it’s being played in heavy snow. It’s so much more fun to watch. I’m disappointed to hear Mina Kimes is a domer, but it makes sense with the analyst/commentator side. These people want to be right in their predictions and analytics which are less likely when you add weather into the mix.
I love weather games, but there is a point where the weather’s so bad they’re barely playing football. A fun game in the snow? A tough game in the rain? A really windy game that makes passing and kicking a big risk? All fun. But when the teams are playing on a slop field in monsoon rains like they did when Pittsburgh played Miami on Monday night back in 2007 and the field was so bad, a punt stuck directly into the ground without moving. That’s an iconic bad weather game moment, but I don’t think anyone is actually interested in rewatching that 3-0 slog.
There is a point where the weather gets so bad that you’re just waiting to see who gets the right funny bounce on a weird fumble at the right spot of the field.
No one is asking for games to be snowed in or flooded, otherwise the games would have been postponed. It doesn’t have to be one extreme over the other you know.
What I like about weather games is how they magnify the importance of key plays, both the good and the bad (turnovers). Every football game has key plays, but when circumstances allow for fewer of them, each one becomes ever more impactful. It is also what is fascinating to me about old prehistoric football games, when scoring even close to 20 points was an uncommon feat. Every score (even a field goal), every forced turnover, every long kick return, every impactful play becomes a nearly heroic accomplishment. People watch sports because athletic competition is a story, one unfolding live before them, and for most folks I think that weather often plays a part in making that story more interesting.
My high school once played a ridiculous game on their grass field right after a huge thunderstorm. The field was a complete mud pit and the game quickly devolved into a slog played between the 10 and the 30 yard lines on one end of the field. Both teams were playing in seemingly slow motion and trading 3 and outs, a couple of field goal attempts went nowhere and punts were traveling 20 yards with no hope of a decent return. Finally, a breakthrough happened… our opponent was punting from their own 10 and snapped the ball high, safety! The second half flipped the field to our end but the story was the same and it looked like we were in position for a 2-0 win. Until, our opponent executed the one and only offensive play of the game that looked like it occurred in normal conditions. Their receiver found enough footing to get behind the defense and their QB threw the only normal-looking pass of the game. Touchdown. The PAT kick wasn’t even close, but it didn’t matter. We lost 6-2. Awful game, but very memorable, and rewarding to the team disciplined enough to finally execute something resembling football in those awful conditions.
that’s gotta be a scorigami
*insert frozen Dan Fout joke here*
Football ultimately is entertainment; and analyzing plays with stats is meant to enhance the experience, not replace it. Having an occasional bad weather game is the ideal balance and tests how well teams can adapt to surprise situations
I am a huge fan of outdoor stadiums. It is the major difference between sports. Hockey (outside 1 game a year) and basketball are in controlled environments indoors. Baseball and soccer are a little bit more risky with wind! 😮
But football is played unless there’s a hurricane, blizzard or national tragedy. Look at the memorable games like the ice bowl, fog bowl and others. Downpours and snowstorms and more.
If I were commissioner all games would be outdoors. Especially in cold weather cities like Minneapolis or Indianapolis. All Superbowls would be picked by a lottery. So one year Green Bay gets a SB the next could be New England. There’s no such thing as neutral as more fans of one team purchase tickets anyway.
So I’m guessing Domers must find arena football to be the highest, most pure form of the sport, right? They must follow it religiously.
I’m with you, football has always been an outdoor sport and it should remain that way. I’m glad that everything about the sport can’t be quantified.
My new favorite post by you. More well reasoned thoughtful arguments against purists, great content that shows everyone how to take a step back and calm down and enjoy chaos rather than being angry. Thank you for this!
Just FYI not even actual competitive SSBM players play Fox only Final Destination. FD is actually considered one of the more competitively unbalanced stages in professional Melee. And while Fox is the best and probably most common character, there is tons of character diversity in this 25 year old game.
Honestly I’m refreshed to see something at least poking some fun at competitive Melee. I generally agree with your take that the vast majority of things should have some element of randomness/variance and it should be a special occasion when you have something done to minimize variance. (I wouldn’t mind seeing Nintendo run tournaments, and you have items and hazards on in the early rounds, with them lowering in frequency until the Grand Finals which is the only round that gets to turn them off entirely…but Sudden Death is played out and it counts for determining the result, none of this percentage tiebreaker on tied stocks stuff.)
While I do like the idea of outdoor play, I live in Winnipeg and come December the temps can be -40 and we’re not that far from Minne or Green Bay. And even though our mayor made fun of the CNN anchor in greenland by filming an interview in -30 and comparing it to -15 C° or whatever, the cold near the water really is colder.
I work outside and the fact that the work is outside is the absolute worst factor of my job by a mile.
There should be domes anywhere it gets to -40 at any point in the year (-40 is the same in both temp scales). I’m not sure how far GB is from the water but it baffles me that they don’t have a dome. KC probably should have an open stadium, being about 900 miles south of Winnipeg they don’t get the same polar votexes.
So Flacco just made Pro Bowl, better than Sanders but that’s a low bar and over a decade late.
remember you can’t spell “doomer” without “domer” haha
This is the single most XKCD 2071 post I’ve ever seen:
https://xkcd.com/2071/