Look I know a LOT of bigger, flashier shit has happened in the past two days but I wanted to make a Dolphins comic so Suh me. We’ll get to all that nonsense, we have a month and the hooplah should die down soon. You’ll get your damn Cousins money thing. Be patient.

So what is going on in Miami anyway? The Dolphins tend to swim under the radar simply because they are what we in the biz call “mediocre”, which means not good enough to be interesting but also not bad enough to be interesting. Even a year of Jay Cutler jokes couldn’t drag this team into national interest last year. So now they are stuck in this weird spot. They overachieved year 1 under Gase and then took a step back. Apparently that means BLOW SOME SHIT UP.

Suh getting released isn’t entirely unexpected. He’s good, but he’s gonna be pricey and he’s on the wrong side of 30. The most surprising move to me was trading Jarvis Landry. I’ll fully admit I don’t watch that many Dolphins games but like, isn’t Jarvis the kind of young talent you want to keep around? He’s a good to great WR, doesn’t seem like too big of a head-case, and entering his prime without any bad injury history. Well, then he became a Brown. RIP Jarvis Landry. At the bare minimum I would have expected more for him than a 4th and a 7th. 7th round draft picks are barely valuable and I don’t even know if they should count half the time. Basically a 4th. I think he was worth at least a 3rd.

They replaced him with 32 year old Danny Amendola, who I’m convinced they thought was actually just Wes Welker but sorta young again and not as good. I had to look it up but Amendola has been a Patriot since 2013, which shocked me since it feels like he just got there. Maybe it’s because he was hurt a bunch and also didn’t really do much, even for a team that loves small white dudes more than anything else.

I heard they might be looking towards QB in the draft too. Tannehill probably gets one more year to prove he can be more than painfully mediocre before he’s done.

The Dolphins seem like they have some sort of offseason mission, but so far it doesn’t make a ton of sense. I feel like they got worse. Then again, I thought the Bills got worse last offseason, and they ended up last year’s sacrificial 6th seed, so what do I know.