Football Fans: The Conspiracy Theorist
A part of me struggles to accept that people this deluded actually exist, but they do. I’ve heard stories, and I’ve seen the occasional online post about it. These people are few, but not fictional. There are actually people who think the NFL is scripted.
Like most conspiracy theories it sounds absolutely stupid at first, then part of you might go “well, I guess that was kinda perfect that it happened just that way”, then you think about it a little more and you realize that yup, it’s still stupid and the logic falls apart. But some people don’t get past that second stage. I can’t figure out why. The best guess I can muster is that most of the fans are somehow bitter about the way their team loses or something.
Every super bowl, especially after an upset, you see fans of the loser get all conspiracy theorist. This past one was a great moment. Right after it happened I saw some sketchy articles suggesting that Peyton threw the game, clearly trying to bait the sad Bronco fans. None of the articles (They come out every year on unreputable sites) ever have any sources, or quote any people. It’s just click bait to try and sway dumb people, or emotional fans of the losing team. Lots of dumb Bronco fans unwilling to accept that their team lost fair and square calling the game rigged, ignoring the fact that the Broncos had no defense, had a cupcake schedule, never changed up their offense strategy even when it wasn’t working, and Seattle just outplayed them to begin with. Seattle was the better team.
But I can forgive a fan of a good team who has to handle a Super Bowl loss when you expected to win. Watching your team make it all the way then get stomped isn’t fun. I’d imagine most of these people calling the game rigged probably got over it soon enough. I saw a lot of Pats fans do the same thing after 2007.
But some people legit think it’s scripted like pro wrestling. These people are…I can’t defend them. They are deluded. For everything that sounds like it might make some sense, lots of other things just make it feel so forced. The NFL has been around for a long time, and started as a small time game. It has grown into the giant it is not overnight, but over decades. There has never, ever, been any evidence that has come out to suggest it’s scripted. No retired referees, no disgruntled employees, nothing. Over decades. Come on. There are so many people covering the league now, so many media members, so many pundits, so many sources. The NFL being scripted would be a huge story, but none of them have ever investigated it? Nothing? No player, current or former, EVER, in all this time, has come out and said things weren’t right. None have even suggested it. You think in a league with players treated as poorly as they are in medical coverage that one wouldn’t want to blow the lid off the biggest sports story ever? There is no evidence of scripted play, and if you think it is, you are dumb. We are not sheeple, you are gullible & trying to find deeper issues where they don’t exist.
Wrestling is very different. Much more controlled an environment. They also are fully aware of the falseness of the presentation, and use it to revel in the spectacle instead of hide it. My uncle went to a pro-wrestling event once, half the arena has no fans, only the side that is on TV has fans. Wrestling is a performance and makes no attempts to hide it. Some people like that. It’s never been my thing but I can respect what it does. The NFL feels different. Yes, sometimes stories play out in such storybook fashion that it feels like fate, but then you realize that it’s really just the media. Sports media is amazing at finding stories within the sports. For every Strahan or Ray Lewis that gets to go out on a storybook ending that seems scripted, lots of veterans don’t. Tony G had an unremarkable end. Tomlinson never saw a Super Bowl. Marino. Jim Kelly. Why would the NFL have the Bills lose 4 times, twice to the same team in boring blowouts? If this was scripted, one of those would be the redemption story. Do you not know how entertainment is written?
My answer to these people is Super Bowl 46, Giants vs Pats round 2. If the NFL was scripted, this was an absolutely terrible script. Giants vs Pats had already happened 4 years prior. Why would you script these two teams back into the super bowl again? Over the 49ers and Alex Smith redemption arc? Over Peyton leading the Broncos all the way? Giants vs Pats was a game only Giants and Pats fans wanted to see. No other fan wanted to see these two teams in the finals again. The teams weren’t as interesting. The Giants weren’t quite as scrappy an underdog and were already recent champions. The Patriots were a flawed offensive team. Plus, why take both of these teams no one else wanted to see into a game and have the same team win again? If this was scripted, the Pats would have won. It was the perfect revenge story. Instead, the game played out like a direct to DVD sequel of 42. I was happy with the outcome, but 42 was the magic game. I couldn’t shake the feeling that 46 was like 42 part 2. That’s a terrible script. You wouldn’t go to hollywood with that script. You want to please as many people as possible, don’t make a lazy ending like that.
You also wouldn’t script a bad game like SB48. This past super bowl was extremely boring for everyone outside Seattle. That’s a terrible end script. Terrible. You want the climax of your game to end with a great game, not a snoozefest blowout that everyone stopped caring about in the 3rd quarter. But these folks behind the game, they control the franchises. They tell all the ref teams who will win and who will lose. They control how these players play, when to make one team lay off the gas and another on. They manage to keep a huge secret in the most exposed and popular sport in the country. This sport that many of the people involved have been playing or coaching for years upon years…they are all in on it. Football and TV work very well together, but it’s a product of years of good management, marketing and work, not because there are shady puppetmasters.
Sometimes things just are as they are.
I have the misfortune of knowing four of these folks. Two are Steelers fans, two are Pats fans. Because apparently winning multiple superbowls in your lifetime doesn’t matter, if you’re not a perfect X-and-0 in Superbowls, there’s a conspiracy against you. They’re the same people that guarantee a win on Monday morning, and believe it’s going to happen until the final whistle. Not in the youthful, optimist way of the Optimistic Fan, but in a smug, conceited, “my team is the best team and your team is just fodder” way.
Look at how smug this bird looks. He’s just so smug. Man is he smug. This bird drawing might be the smuggest bird I’ve ever seen. The bar is set pretty high for all future birds in your comics.
That bird looks like it’s rocking a handlebar mustache.
The old phrase “Truth is stranger than fiction” comes to mind here.
Just curious … what’s a “Consipracy Theorist”? Is that like a special trolling kind of fan who exists just to irritate the retired English teachers and technical writers?
I don’t know, that’s not how I spelled it
Haha he thought he was being clever being “that guy” and you just called him on his dyslexia. Nothing worse than a dyslexic grammar nazi.
I guess I should have screencapped it. Glad you fixed it, though.
“My uncle went to a pro-wrestling event once, half the arena has no fans, only the side that is on TV has fans.”
I’m curious what event that was, because it had to be a local place. Bigger companies prefer to fill around the arena, even if the upper sections look empty, because you can then manipulate the cameras more to make it seem full. If you deliberately avoid one side, it looks off and hokey.
I don’t remember where it was, but it was likely either DC or Baltimore considering that’s where he lives. Probably DC. He got backstage tickets to a show with a producer or something, he wasn’t allowed to take pictures, but he said they only filled one half of the arena with people and the rest was equipment and cameras.
This was a long time ago when he told me about it, I may be mis-remembering some things.
I actually just spoke with my uncle and got some details. It was at the Verizon Center in DC, they filled one half with fans and the other side had fans, but it was mostly TV cameras and such, and the wrestlers play to that side so the crowd is always behind them. He also said that he only saw it full when the event wasn’t on TV. So that might not be everywhere, but he’s gone several times due to connections and that’s his experience.
This is the worst fan. Absolutely the worst. Worse than any bandwagon fan, overly optimistic or pessimistic fan, or any PFF-worshiping stats nerd. Swearing that the the game is rigged, that the refs gave the other team the game, etc. Even when the replays are clear and with the more obvious rules, the game is obviously fixed. Ugh. I understand being upset with terrible calls, like some sketchy PI calls (the NFL needs to fix that), but the conspiracy theories are simply horrible.
Seattle is a larger TV market than Denver.
According to this, Denver was bigger, and that was after a large jump in market by the Hawks. Seattle is a bigger city than Denver but Denver reaches a wider area.
http://www.sportsbusinessdaily.com/Daily/Issues/2014/01/14/Research-and-Ratings/NFL-local.aspx
Those are ratings which are completely different from the size of a media market. Winning teams See big bumps. If you want to go by that then you can try to say Denver is a bigger market than New York.
As a Broncos fan who A) always liked the Steelers for what they did to the Raiders in the 70s, and B) always hated the Seahawks, because I mostly grew up in Seattle, so had the whole rivalry thing going on…
I can TOTALLY see a case for someone saying the 2005 post season was, if not scripted, at least pre-determined. The Betis-in-his-home-town thing, the way that *EVERY* call in *EVERY* post season game that year went the Steelers way (I mean, seriously: The Seahawks got an unnecessary roughness call against the quarterback for tackling below the waist after an INT. Has that *EVER* happened before?), the way that it wasn’t just one game– against the Colts, the game was decided on a series of hugely questionable calls that went against Indy (and I hated Indy for the way they destroyed the Broncos the previous 2 years), against the Bengals they just abused the hell out of the receivers and the line with some of the most egregious and blatant holding, illegal blocks, and unnecessary roughness I’ve ever seen not called. That whole post season was the most embarrassing the League has ever had from an officiating standpoint, and I can absolutely and completely understand Seattle nation saying that it was rigged against them, because by every metric you can throw out, it seems to have been.
Do I think the NFL is scripted? No. Would it surprise me if a ref gave a deathbed confession that Goodell ordered the 2005 post-season to go the Steelers way? Not at all– which is as indicative of my horrible opinion of the current commissioner as anything else.
The commissioner in 2005 was Paul Tagliabue.
I’m aware. I’m also aware that Goodell was the NFL’s COO at the time, and has always been more obsessed with the NFL’s image than the NFL’s integrity.
Why would you use Vikings fans? We’re obviously the pessimists.
Packers fan living in MN, can confirm
I’m the Viking fan the one in the comic is based on. I have a Dallas Cowboy fan friend who I thought (hoped) was the only football conspiracy nut out there. Every big game he crows about how the game is scripted and how every dropped pass “was in the script” It pisses me off and he knows it.
Is it pessimism if you’re always right?
It is just impossible to script the nfl. there are so many moments where you can say “well, how does that work in a script”. Brady is only around because mo Lewis hammered Drew Belose into the ground and caused internal bleeding. kapernick is only around because alex smith bumped his head. And how come there is no LA team? There is no fucking way RG3 read a script and intentionally injured his knee. Just not possible.
I’m a Niners fan, and after the NFCC game I heard and read a ton of conspiracy theorists hijacking the threads and conversations to talk about how the game was rigged for SEA. Some weren’t even 49ers fan, just people trying to convince others to join them for some reason.
They have absolutely no logic or willingness to agree on something, which is why I think they’re the worst fans.
OK so sorry that I’m an idiot, but is the fan on the left hanging in the last panel? And is that like a Viking helmet on the fan’s on the right head?
1. Yes I believe the fan on the left has hanged himself.
2. That would be a classic “crazy guy conspiracy theorist” foil hat.
OK, thanks
The ghost of Al Davis disagrees with you.
I don’t believe the game is scripted, but as a Jets fan, I can’t believe that there isn’t favoritism going on. It’s possible that it’s subconscious or just a coincidence, but I’ve watched too many Patriots games to believe otherwise. Is it me, or do the Pats get just ridiculous calls in their favor. Recently (and ironically), they kinda got screwed over by that unsportsmanlike conduct call on the FG that gave the Jets the win. I’d argue though, that that was the right call. The majority of the time, the Pats get the wrong call massively in their favor at critical times. Also, it’s kind of crazy to me that the league asked Belichik for the tapes rather than search for them themselves and then they destroyed them after saying there was no need for further punishment. It’s kinda weird is all.
SB48 wasn’t boring for Brocos fans, either, it was sadness, pain, and heartbreak.
As a person that has a family member with mental illness who believes conspiracy theories there is nothing that can disprove the theory. Everything that disproves it is part of the conspiracy. For sports they point to the recent soccer scandals and extrapolate it to all sports.
Just based on one year right? You realize its been going on since Super Bowl 3? SUPER BOWL 3!
Still relevant with sore loser 49ers fans claiming the game was rigged as someone’s toilet bowl.