Big ups to commenter Shelly on the previous comic for the inspirational idea behind this one. This is perfect, and now I am full of wonder about the ideas of two very small people fighting and working together to achieve their dreams. I have zero hope for Kyler Murray this year but maybe we can have dueling thumbelinas in the NFC West for years to come.

Since it’s still the offseason lets have a “Dave stream of consciousnesses about random shit not related to anything” blogs. This is your warning, there is no valuable or well structured discussion below this sentence.

This idea was timely since I’ve recently discovered a youtube series called “Defunctland” which goes into old theme park rides that aren’t around anymore, so my brain has been on roller coaster memories. I didn’t spend a lot of time at amusement parks as a kid as there wasn’t really one close enough to casually visit. Also, my mom was the only one who actually liked roller coasters in the family, which kind of limits your options at a theme park. My sister was too young when I was still of age to go, I was afraid of coasters as a kid, and Dad got nauseous on everything. It took my mom years of wearing me down to finally go on The Tower of Terror at Disneyworld when I was 13, and that finally converted me over.

I think I went to a bunch different parks as a kid. Kings Dominion we visited I want to say…twice? I remember none of it outside the fact that it had an Eiffel tower. I’ve been to both Busch Gardens (which I only just now realized why “busch”was spelled that way and not “bush”, I didn’t get it as a kid. Fucking capitalism, man). I don’t remember the Williamsburg one, but I remember the Tampa one. I went to Six Flags America for a birthday and hated it. I went to sea world, which for some reason had an absolutely insane coaster called Kraken in it.

I have the fondest memories of Hershey Park in PA. I think it was the last time I actually went to a theme park, so I was finally a roller coaster bum. That place ruled. It’s hard to beat an entire park themed around chocolate.

I also got extremely into the original Roller Coaster Tycoon and consider that a top ten game ever made.

I’ve been to Disneyworld twice, once as a 5 year old and I apparently loved it as you’d expect. Then again at 13 when my sister was a tiny kid, and while I enjoyed myself I think I soured on everything Disney after that. My dad was a huge grump that whole trip and it wasn’t till I became an adult that I began to understand why. Disneyworld is one of two things depending on the person you are. If you are an optimist who buys into the magic and atmosphere, loves to embrace the inner child, and loves Disney stuff, Disneyland/World is a utopia.

If you don’t mostly buy into what they are selling, Disney is a nightmare. Some people see Goofy on the street and want to take photos because it’s Goofy! I see Goofy and all I think about is the person under the costume. How their day is walking around in a big hot suit pretending to care about strangers. Some people collect the pins and wear the ears and get the themed drinks and toys. I look at the price tag of all this crap and wince. Even as a 13 year old I could tell this was a rip off. Now I really get why Dad hated it. It’s so forced and artificial. It’s like a snappy brand twitter account. Even when they make a good tweet, part of you knows that it was debated by a committee of social media managers trying to appeal to you and that’s weird. So, in short, Disney is very overrated, and so is the Wendy’s twitter account.

I envy the people who can enjoy those Disney parks and go over and over again but I will never understand it. There’s no appeal for me there at all.

Anyway tell me about your theme park history. Have any favorite parks or rides you remember fondly? Are you one of those Disney weirdos? Where is your pin collection? WHERE IS IT, DISNEY NUT?!? TELL ME OR ELSE