Yeah yeah I know McCarthy was probably not the hiring news you expected a comic about but we got a whole offseason to get to everything else. You want my opinion on Joe Judge? I don’t have one. I didn’t know who he was when they hired him. He has almost no history and is a total unknown in pretty much every respect. It’s hard to have an opinion on a guy you didn’t know existed until a week ago.

Anyway once I heard Mike McCarthy slept over at Jerry Jones’ house the night he got hired I couldn’t pass that up. Think of the pillow fights that must have happened. Think of the secret blood rituals. It might very well be worse than CATS.

I don’t like the hiring for Dallas. It feels like a lateral move. Maybe a slight upgrade in the fact that McCarthy knows at least basic clock management. As bad as Jason Garrett was during the games themselves reports seemed to indicate he wasn’t a bad guy and there is a lot that goes into coaching that we, the vile public, does not appreciate. We see what happens for 3 hours on Sundays and maybe if we care we see some press conferences and read reports. Managing a large group of egotistical dudes takes effort and I don’t think we give coaches enough credit for it. This is one of the things that worries me about McCarthy. According to that big report that came out after the firing, the dude seemed like he just checked out behind the scenes.

There is also the added variable known as the Jerruh Factor. We were making “Garrett is Jones’ puppet” jokes since before the guy even got promoted. Former OL Uche Nwaneri released a write up from his (limited) perspective from his short time in Dallas on Reddit basically calling Dallas a Jerry cult. It doesn’t really contradict what most of us already suspected to some degree. How much of this hiring is Jerry wanting control and finding a guy who will tolerate it? How much push-back will Jerry tolerate? We’re gonna find out!

Honestly what I expect out of Dallas is more of the same, maybe even a slide into further issues once they have to give Dak his contract and some of the talent leaves. The team is still very talented and should easily be in conversations to take the east next season, but I just feel like we aren’t getting much of a change here.

Let me put it this way: I expected the Giants to hire Mike McCarthy. I expected the Giants to go for the “established pedigree” of the “classic football coach” who in reality is a retread who lucked into a HoF franchise QB and may not have played a big a role in that success as initially suspected and might secretly be a fraud. I expected the boring hire. The Cowboys did it instead. Take that how you will.