Mike Evans Starts His New Chapter
Mike Evans joining the 49ers is somewhat old news by now but things that I found funnier kept happening and pushing this particular comic off to the side and I wanted to make sure I got it out before it got left out. Also, the biggest major free agency signing in 2025 deserves some attention.
The first major free agency bombshell (and probably the biggest surprise overall) was Mike Evans suddenly joining the San Francisco 49ers. Mike Evans, possibly the greatest Buccaneer of all time and holder of numerous team records, is suddenly gone? Nobody seemed to see this coming. Maybe I wasn’t paying close enough attention to rumors beforehand but it felt like this move was very surprising to everyone, Bucs fans included. Mike Evans is the Buccaneers. He’s been there for over a decade, playing a hall of fame career. On the Mount Rushmore of Buccaneers he might be the only offensive player for most people (some will carve out a head for Mike Alstott). I’m assuming the rest are Derrick Brooks, Sapp, and Ronde Barber. Maybe John Lynch. Brady never really felt like a Buccaneer, he was just renting space in Florida for a few years.
I wonder if Evans saw the Bowles ship sinking and decided he’s too old for this shit. The Bucs spent several years at the top of the NFL’s dirty laundry pile in the corner of the bedroom that is colloquially known as the NFC South. That time appeared to end this season when an early-year lead was squandered due to injury and ineptitude. The Panthers, Saints, and possibly Falcons are all trending upwards. Bowles looks like a ripe choice to be a mid-season firing in 2026. Of course, part of that collapse was due to Evans missing half the season with injury. Something we simply aren’t used to. Mike Evans wasn’t an iron man, but he was pretty damn solid and consistent until 2025, when his 1000k yard streak would end.
Whelp, if Mike Evans is now entering his old man creaky phase (he’s 32 with a lot of miles on him), there is simply no fit better than the Santa Clara Hospital Ward. The 49ers spend so many seasons with star players wounded or dead that people started legitimately blaming a nearby electrical substation. The 49ers greatest nemesis in the Shanahan era, besides Mahomes in the 4th quarter, is Injured Reserve. I do not root for injuries but I am not going to lie, the funniest possible thing that could happen in 2026 is Mike Evans tearing his knee apart in the first two weeks.
If Evans stays healthy, I love this move for SF. Mike Evans is arguably the best in the biz at going up and hauling in deep prayers, and Brock Purdy loves throwing some deep prayers. Brock isn’t the best QB Evans has ever had, but he’s a perfect playstyle fit. Brock takes chances and gunslings it deep a lot. Evans has made a career of eating those passes up. The 49ers replace Brandon “I’m mad as hell and Im not gonna play here anymore” Aiyuk with a seasoned hall of famer who is as QB-friendly as you can get.
The question is…health. Maybe 2025 was a blip and Evans will go back to being a reliable on-field presence. Maybe whatever Shanahan voodoo magic that saps player souls will not affect him. But Evans is over 30 and just had an injury-prone season. There might not be anything more 49er than that. I hope he stays healthy because he is going to produce some amazing highlights next season if he does.
Greatest Bucs receiver of all time, for sure, but greatest Buc of all time still has to be Warren Sapp to me.
Evans is a definite Mt. Rushmore guy for the Buccaneers, but he’s the Teddy Roosevelt. Brooks, Sapp, and Lee Roy Selmon get the other spots (with a strong honorable mention case from Ronde Barber), with Brooks being the Bucs’ GOAT (NINE consecutive All-Pro teams, five of them first team) over Sapp by a relatively narrow margin.
The gap between Evans and the nearest offensive player? Holy moly. The race for second is Alstott, Warrick Dunn, and the ever-underrated James Wilder. Give Tristan Wirfs another couple all-pro years and he’ll probably be 2nd.
If things goes well he can pad his numbers for few years before hanging it up. Worked for Isaac Bruce.
I’ve always had a soft spot for Mike Evans since I took him as a flier on my fantasy team his rookie year, so I had an excuse to watch him ball that whole season. I wish him nothing but the best but dang, it will be weird to see him on another team.
Ever since the Everything Is Content: Two Point Hospital video he did with Marisha, I can only ever hear Matt Mercer as the voice of Dr Swickles. I guess he has more time in my headcanon to do it now that Brennan’s the DM.
49ers are playing the odds. Get enough high mileage old dudes and hope there’s enough juice for a run. This could go spectacular or horribly wrong. It is an even year, so suspect everything goes sideways.
We’re going to miss Mike. It was a big shock that he left. The last time he claimed he wanted to test free agency, he immediately realized that he wanted to stay in TB. I’m very disappointed to learn that the team has worsened to the point that he wanted to leave and our ownership said, “We offered to match what he was getting and he still said no.” Bad vibes for the Bucs, even if our deepest part of the depth chart is WR.
David rappoccio is a crack head and not in a mean way