EDIT: due to our dog being a jerk, I am running on no sleep for like 3 days, and did not even start a comic for Friday, sorry bout that

Man am I glad this particular hashtag didn’t last that long. Not because I hate Russ, I love Russ. I just hate the phrase. “Let Russ Cook” was obscenely irritating and everywhere those first few weeks. Russ throws a 15 yard pass? RUSS IS COOKIN. LET HIM COOK. COOK. Like every fan/brand hashtag it wore out its welcome and became a parody of itself within minutes. These days it is now significantly more entertaining as a sneering joke as the Seahawks offense has faltered and the phrase has been co-opted by snarky chucklefucks like myself.

Now? What is Russ cooking? Let Russ Reheat old fish in the microwave. Let Russ Heat Up Some Ramen Packets. Let Russ make dubious food from Breath of the Wild. Remember when Russ was coming out and making this his MVP for your consideration campaign? Maybe that’s why I hated Let Russ Cook – it had all the hallmarks of a cynical brand manipulation. Russ tried to nickname himself “Mr. Unlimited” which thankfully received mostly mockery because of course he’d nickname himself something that utterly bland and flavorless. Also, you can’t nickname yourself. That’s not how it works. We’ve been over this. Russ should be glad he’s fun to watch because he has the same personality of my mid-level manager at Office Depot who took himself far too seriously, blasted jesus rock through the speakers, and made sure to try and get everyone to do a cheer before each opening shift.

I think part of the reason the MVP chatter shuffled into the background besides the obvious decline in offensive quality was that DK Metcalf started stealing all the headlines. Nobody in the booth would talk much about Russ, who we’ve seen do cool shit for years, when Chunky Kong was now routinely making headline grabbing catches every game at wide receiver. After that chase-down of Budda Baker DK was the new hotness. Russ is doomed to never get his MVP love. This was going to be his year before Aaron Rodgers got mad again and Patrick Mahomes continued to be Patrick Mahomes. I think Russ might be the new Brees in that he’s cursed to always be great, but not quite the best in any given year, which keeps him from getting votes. He absolutely should have MVP votes. If they decided to hold a vote for most valuable player over the past decade I might actually vote for him as my pick. The Hawks are nowhere near the perennial contender without him.

These days I’m not even sure what’s wrong. The Giants played brilliantly defensively but that still doesn’t account for all of it. They got out to a horrible start against Buffalo but rebounded late to make it interesting, then looked awful against the Rams and even worse against the Giants. Going in, I actually wasn’t worried about DK because Bradberry has been an all-pro this year and I figured he’d lock him down pretty good (even DK’s big stiff arm was ultimately for like, an extra yard or two because Bradberry still made the tackle). Russ has historically been fine under pressure since he spent most of the 10’s without an o-line and still played his ass off, but he looked rough. Maybe we can blame Brian Schottenheimer? Or Petey? I’m always down to blame Petey.

Anyway “Let Russ Cook” is terrible and I hope it goes away. It would also be hilarious if after such a PR push he got no MVP votes again because of how the team backslid recently.