Jimmy Garoppolo Gets Traded
Man the trade deadline shenanigans gave us about two months worth of material in the span of about 2 days. Maybe I’ll get to all of it, I don’t know. Since this was the first genuine bombshell to drop, lets just start with that. Jimmy Garoppolo is now the starting QB for the 49ers.
The 49ers got him for a second and Brian Hoyer. They technically didn’t get Hoyer in the trade, but the 49ers immediately dropped him and then Hoyer signed up with the Pats the instant he made it through waivers. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was something negotiated in the deal in some way, maybe a way to get Hoyer for cheaper? Who knows. We finally get to see what ol’ Janeane Garafolo can do. On a real team, not the pristine organization of New England. He’s in the muck now with the rest of us. He shall swim, or he shall die.
I’m glad he’s out of Brady’s shadow, dude is the handsomest man in football. He deserves the limelight before some Seahawk bludgeons him to death and gives him CTE. I think this makes the 49ers instant contenders for “winning a few games”. He can’t be much worse than Hoyer, but I think the spark can get a few wins out of them. They do still have to play the Cardinals and the Giants.
It doesn’t mean much for the Pats, though it feels like they sort of wasted their opportunity with him last year. They probably could have sold him for more. A 2nd is probably decent enough, considering that’s where he was drafted and is essentially untouched still in the box pristine.
Other highlights of the trade deadline!
The Dolphins go full tank and basically give up Jay Ajayi for nothing, Eagles going all in
The Bills traded Sammy Watkins earlier but just replaced him with Fat Sammy Watkins
The Seahawks grabbed someone who actually knows how to play O-line
The Browns managed to find some dignity they hadn’t yet ruined and then ruined it
The Broncos traded Trevor for Brock
Good stuff!
Special thanks to Jack Yaudes for the inspirational idea for this comic
The most interesting thing to me is what this says about this year’s QB class. I’m high on a handful of prospects – Falk and Rosen come to mind in the first few rounds, with Baker Mayfield being a middle-late favorite for me – but apparently Shanahan and the Niners front office aren’t. Given their record and general lack of talent, they’re basically a lock for a top-five pick, probably top three, so they could have their pick of whatever QB they want in this upcoming draft, which means they’d rather have Jimmy G than Rosen, Darnold, or whoever else they could grab with their top pick, and any late first/early second options a la Carr or Brees.
Again, there are some QBs I really like in this class, but this is a pretty damning statement about them from an offensive-minded head coach.
Shannahan traded with the patriots for a QB not named Tom Brady. We all know how this will end but we love the illusion of “Oh damn he could be good” then reality sinks in and the 49ers are an awful team and the fresh smell of Jimmy G wears off when he looks bad. Then the 49ers are like “screw it we invested a 2nd in him” franchise him, talk about a long term ala Dalton Style deal but the 49ers say nope prove your worth you handsome basterd and thus they begin the retooling. 49ers get all the off-season puff pieces about how they’ve turned the corner after adding some good FAs and have a solid draft and have found an answer at QB after chasing the old answer at QB out of town because he liked kneeling too much. The Pre-season begins and Jimmy G breaks his collarbone on this 3rd attempt and is ruled out for most of the year.
Or ya know he could suck because every QB not named Brady to come out of Bellicheck’s system has struggled elsewhere (Not counting Bledsoe because he existed pre Darth hoodie)
Outside of 2002, Bledsoe too sucked outside of BAHSTIN.
All of Brady’s other backups besides Matt Cassel never had as much experience as Garoppolo did though, and Cassel had essentially a 16-0 team to play with.
Jacoby Brissett is actually not doing half bad on the Colts, who also have a terrible supporting cast.
If Jimmy G had been starting for SF since Week 1, they’d probably be 5-3 at this point by winning all the 2-3 and/or games that went to OT that Hoyer lost.
At least Jimmy G has a fresh smell.
I don’t see it as an indictment on the upcoming class of QB’s so much as it is Shanahan’s scheme is very complicated. He wants passers that have experience running an NFL playbook coming in instead of raw players. That’s why you saw him in Atlanta grabbing cuts from other teams that knew his scheme in the two years we had him in Atl He brought in Backup QB schaub from his time in Houston, Receivers Taylor Gabriel, Aldrick Robinson, leonard Hankenson, Nick Williams (all cut from previous team) Countless offensive lineman and PS players. It’s also why so many outlets kept tagging him to Kirk Cousins and if Garafolo doesn’t play well this year i still believe Kirk starts for 49’s next year Because Shanahan likes using guys he has used before.
That joe buck image is still haunting me O_O
I really don’t understand Miami’s tank, as they’re 4-3 (even with if all 3 of their losses were shut outs minus the last play at the Jets). A late 4th is really shitty to get back for the guy who led them to the playoffs last year.
They were already the worst offense in the league, and then they made it even worse by shipping their best/only ground threat. Just one 4th-rounder is balls-all for an RB like Ajayi.
Gase is starting to go full Sparano by the look of it.
It’d be hilarious if Miami went 8-8/9-7 without scoring more than 20 points in any game and getting shutout 6 times.
This might happen.
To be honest, I am disappointed by your comic.
I would have expected something like: Jimmy makes a poor offering to Belichick who sent him to the Pit of Misery.
Dilly dilly
Fuck the the whole state of New York
Shit double “the”
What did the Bills do to you? They’re the only team that plays in MY state. *ducks from overused not funny joke*
They don’t play in New York, the Bills actually play in the Canadian side of Niagra Falls lol.
don’t forget boston
it seems like belichick is one step down from goodell in how he’s depicted in these comics
I feel like this comic gives an accurate depiction of him how else can you possibly explain the last 15 years… im just waiting till many years from now when they find the underground Mayan temple under Gillette filled with the bodies of all the sacrifices from over the years.
not objecting to the depiction, just find it interesting
makes me laugh everytime
Does it involves a stone mask?
Nope, Just a concussed Wes Welker
Is Cheech Marin standing outside inviting people in?
So I have no idea who Janeane Garafolo is (Google tells me she’s an actress and stand-up comedian, but that’s about it), but whenever I read her name my brain wants to parse it as “Jane-ane” even though I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be pronounced “Ja-neen.”
Could be worse, at least he has a ring unlike certain someone…
Two rings.
should have ended it with McCarron having a similar nightmare, with some other “saved by reality” moment
Every time I say “This is rock bottom”, the Browns find a new and hilarious way to completely shit the bed. Never stop Brownsing everything up, Cleveland.
Thank God for Sashi Brown stalling until the deadline and whatever intern screwed up the email. They’re both gonna get fired for saving the Browns from trading two high picks for an even worse QB than the ones they have now.
Hoyer’s been in the league since 2009, so he skipped waivers when cut. The cut also means he gets all his guaranteed money from the Niners instead of the Patriots. Hardly a big deal for SF with their massive cap space.
San Francisco has at least looked competitive in most of their games this season. We’ll finally see if Garoppolo is worth the hype or not once he starts in a couple weeks.
but what if it was a dream within a dream
did joe buck have an orgasm in that picture
Aaaaaaaaaand that’s me unable to sleep long enough to get the Miami-Oakland game in at 1:30am tonight…
As a Patriots fan, I hate this move. I understand why they did it but I hate that it had to be done because I truly think JG is going to be an all-pro caliber QB. It’s also annoying because I have a friend who’s a hardcore Niners fan and I spent the weeks leading up to the draft explaining to him why the Niners should offer up multiple picks for JG and he kept balking at the idea of him being a franchise QB, but now he’s all gung-ho about it and sharing links to articles that talk up Garoppolo with film breakdowns that I showed him months ago.
You forgot that the Jags just got even better on defense. :/
I know I’m late but I saw a meme of jimmy smiling and saying “I’m actually pretty familiar with the 49ers playbook. Coach Belichick gave me it years ago.”
You should incorporate the Necronomicon into the next Bill Belichick comic, if that’s not something you’ve already done
Of course, this comic may actually have been completely accurate, it turns out…
https://sports.yahoo.com/patriots-wanted-right-jimmy-garoppolo-didnt-trade-browns-145348406.html