The Browns Walk It Back
Jeez the Nike designers are really going at it this month, and we still have the Chargers to go! Apparently the Patriots will also be making a slight tweak to end the Brady era, but from everything I’ve seen it probably won’t be a big enough change to warrant the bros.
The Browns tried to leave the stench of history behind them and move forward and they gave us mediocrity. I honestly didn’t hate the Browns “new” unis last time. I didn’t like the drop shadow, I hated the BROWNS on the pants, I was meh on the CLEVELAND above the numbers (This feels like a college thing and just shouldn’t be in the NFL imo). But I liked the colors overall, I thought it was pretty okay. The problem was less the new look and more that they decided to change one of the best classic uniforms in the league. The Browns did not need an update. I guess after their attempt to rebrand a new era ended up with Hue Jackson giving them a new low they realized the problem wasn’t the uniforms.
I’m glad the Browns classics are back in the same way I’m happy the Bucs are back. They are just better looking uniforms, but there is a hint of sadness as it feels like shunning them for trying something new. A fair amount of the Browns former look was fine. I think a lot of Browns fans are actually sad they didn’t keep the orange pants (I am too). It doesn’t feel like there’s much to say about this “update”. It even feels like I’ve ran out of basic Photoshop function jokes and now have to strain to not explicitly repeat myself.
I’m going to instead take some time to vote on the teams I would like to see updated the most. To see what Nike could do, weird and all. I’m bored and tired of these teams and I want to see something different.
Cardinals – Still my vote for the most boring uniforms in the league. There just isn’t anything about that that is interesting. No identity, nothing. If I saw one in the wild I usually first thought it was a Falcons jersey. These need a new look, even a bad one, really badly. They need anything to stand out and have personality.
Panthers – The shoulder stripes feel like a relic of the mid-2000’s and with black and light blue as primary colors, I think you could get away with a lot of cool stuff. Black with bright color highlights almost always looks stellar and I wouldn’t mind seeing an update. It would also seem fitting to move the Panthers into a new era with their new ownership and current rebuild from the Cam era.
Patriots – Honestly the Patriots really should go a little further with their update. The current uniforms are the Brady uniforms, and they are dull by now, with some design ideas best left with them.
Texans – I can’t put my finger on what it is exactly, but the Texans uniforms bore me. I much prefer the red alternate jerseys and wish they’d become the primary ones.
Cowboys – I used to call them classic but I think it’s only because a lot of people think they are due to them being a legacy franchise with a lot of history, but if I sit down and be honest with myself, I don’t love them. I don’t like the black number and stripe outlines. I don’t like that the pants are a weird blue that doesn’t show up anywhere else on the uniform or even in the branding. But, above all other reasons, I think my main beef is that I think these alternate uniforms might be my favorite uniform in the entire league. If you asked me right now I think I would consider that alternate my absolute favorite uniform in the entire league. It feels like the perfect blend of modern sensibilities mixed with classic elements. I love it, and I wish they’d just use these instead.
Fitting joke, considering how you probably just copied the first 3 panels from the previous one of these and added new text.
You realize this comic is a template for every uniform change, right? The only thing he changes is the text and, for the last few, added masks to the two designers and the Sexy Rexy poster.
i think what you meant to say was “dave is a lazy ass and should work harder to make me, a random internet person, satisfied with the product i didnt pay for”
fuck i reread your comment realized i was a total ass in my first response, please either ignore or flame me appropriately
I miss the employee of the month guy…should be user more too
It’s called a running joke, genius. He does this for every time a uniform changes.
to be fair i made the same mistake initially
hes not densely pulling a captain obvious, hes underscoring the explicit punchline with the implicit ongoing comic motif and complimenting dave for doing so
Yeah, I reread my first comment and realized how easy it was to read it as if I’m an asshole.
Ahh, a wonderful New joke format. May it stick around for a blissfully long time.
I would have liked a white stripe in the center of the orange ones on the brown pants.
The Color Rush set sucks, but they’ll wear it rarely enough. I don’t know why they didn’t just keep that uniform, since it was the only one from the last set that looked good.
They’ve dropped very strong hints at more to come. The assumption is it will be at least orange pants, and possibly a full orange alternate. I hope it’s just the pants.
Any uniform update that keeps an ORANGE helmet as the logo for a team called the BROWNs will always be the stupidest uniform in the league.
Then again, my opinion probably isn’t super welcome here, since I love Texans, Patriots, Cowboys and Panthers uniforms (and almost all of the Color Rush ones, just for being different and a reason to actually watch Thursday Night games), and find the Colts, Giants, Raiders, Bears to be almost painfully boring.
Their primary color is orange, not brown. They’re named after the coach, not the color. Paul Brown just picked orange and brown because he liked the way they look.
I get what he means. Most people (the barely casual fans) think of the color brown when they hear their name. I always thought it was funny and joked that they were so bad because they can’t figure out that orange isn’t brown so of course they can’t figure out how to win.
Are the Browns the only pro team in sports named after a person?
Bonus question: If Paul’s last name was something other than BROWN, would fans now be cheering for the Cleveland Finklesteins?
There’s a few that are puns. They’re the Hornets now, but the Bobcats were originally named after their founding owner, Robert Johnson. Officially, the Indians are named in honor of Louis Sockalexis, their player-manager at the time, but they were really renamed because the Braves had just changed their name and immediately won the World Series and the owners were superstitious. I don’t know if there’s any that are directly named after people.
Pardon me if this is incorrect, as I don’t use Photoshop all that much, but since this is pretty much what the Bucs did, by bringing in new uniforms, you could have said the same thing for both changes, as in both are just pressing undo multiple times, or adding in old files.
Dave’s trying not to mail it in, like Nike is doing with these unis
Dave, I know you want to make it as if Nike isn’t doing the exact same thing with both uniforms, but in reality, those guys are acting like they have a trigger finger for the <— button.
Dave, I love your comics, I’ve been following you around since 2013. You have a loyal, Cowboys fan, fan in me. That being said I’m really surprised your favorite unis in the NFL are the Navy from the Cowboys, amazing. I really loved how you appreciated Romo too, it’s such a uncommon thing amongst Cowboys fans let alone a NYG fan.
Anyways, as surprised as I am, I hope you decide to make a take on the Cowboys home unis and whole set sometimes, I love the insight you put in every aspect of design in NFL teams.
My best regards!
Anyone know the browns almost did something important in 80s?
The Texans uniforms are boring because they are SAFE, or what was considered safe in the early 2000s. The name Texans itself even is safe, likely chosen with the hope that it would appeal to people across the entire state. Nobody hates the name because its fine… just fine, nobody hates red-white-and-blue even if they acknowledge how overused it is because the colors are proven to work well together, nobody hates the logo because… well it’s actually a solid logo, and nobody hates the uniforms because they are as simple and inoffensive as possible.
Safe is good word to describe the entire Texans franchise throughout its history. They rarely wind up in controversy and their history is almost spectacular in how uninteresting it is. At their best they have been competent, just above-average, and boring. At their worst they have been inept… in an incredibly boring way.
They would be the Titans if we didn’t have the Titans. They are safe and mostly boring. More so now the Hopkins is gone.
The Cowboys’ blue uniforms from the 80s are one of the best looking uniforms ever. Bring those back.
Apparently they listened to the fans and are planning to bring the orange pants as part of the alternates.
Which I think is awesome, because I love tye brown jersey/orange pant combo of the Brian Sipe era Browns.
I love those Cowboy uniforms in that picture. The current ones seem so….un-Cowboy. I’d think Ole Man Jones would want something flashier.
As for the ones you mention as needing new threads, a thousand times YES for the Cards. Put a Falcons helmet on them and you would think it fits. The Patriots need some minor changes but I wouldn’t go too far unless they changed up the color variants some. The Panthers aren’t bad either. Like the Patriots, I think some minor changes would really freshen things up. The Texans uniform to me is boring. Someone above mentioned safe. That’s a very accurate description of the franchise. Maybe that’s why they traded Nuk, to show they have an edge.
What about coming up with some potential designs in down time? Have you thought about trying that?
I like the ‘new’ unis WAY better than the previous generation, except for the all-brown version that looks like Mr Hankey.
Now just make the orange a little less red, and de-saturate the brown, and I’ll be happy.
Well, at least until they start underachieving again….
The falcons are the only team that got new uniforms, however an ass-load stopped letting Nike design them.
Your thoughts on 2010s all decade team?
I haven’t even looked at the list, I don’t think I could give less of a shit