Fisher Finally Fired For Failing Football Fantastically
Jeff Fisher is fired! Ding dong, the Fish is dead. Long overdue, because Jeff Fisher is really bad. We make a lot of 7-9 jokes as NFL fans, but really, 7-9 is like Fisher’s ceiling most years and any year above that is an anomaly and proof of a darker eldritch horror lying in wait to devour us all.
Of course this comes as a surprise, because a week ago it was announced the exact same Jeff Fisher got a contract extension. For two years. TWO MORE YEARS. Jeff Fisher is like a House Rep from your state that you hate but keeps getting elected because an abnormally large group of old people live in your district and they don’t think about anyone else and vote for fun. But not anymore. Jeff Fisher is fired, and it feels like this one might actually be his last job. Jeff is spoiled goods and has been for years at this point. He was puttering along, embarrassing the Seahawks once in a while, doing the minimum job to get by at probably the one job in the NFL he could get away with it at. Then once LA happened, and the Rams faced a real media market full of hungry new fans eager for football, his head because a hot commodity for local spike enthusiasts.
I wish the Rams had waited till the end of the year. Fisher managed to tie Dan Reeves for the all time loss record as a head coach this past Sunday with the trouncing by the Falcons. One more loss and he’d have it all to himself. Instead now he’s fired, too much of a failure to succeed at being the ultimate failure. He deserves that trophy and I hate the Rams for not letting him finish the season. It’s not like the Rams have any hope this year left. Go the Gus Bradley route of let the man fall into a dump and start fresh next season without any of that weird interim coaching thing. It would have given him a chance to inexplicably embarrass the Hawks one more time this Thursday.
I don’t think Fisher finds another HC job. He’s 58 years old (Pete Carroll is the oldest coach at 65) and the league has passed him by, and his name is a sour pill that makes you gag and throw up a little. He is now going to get paid for two years no matter what, that’s kind of a sweet pension. If I was Fisher, I’d take that money and sip pina coladas on a beach for a few weeks then retire in obscurity, maybe one day getting a job working for a team office in some capacity down the road.
To be fair, ending in a tie for the all time loss record is probably the most Jeff Fisher thing ever.
Jeff Fisher for Rutger HC!
Go Bucks!
Also, I thought this comic would be about Derpy Eli beating the “Mighty” Cowboys
I want to see a walrus coach comic with Reid, Fisher, Holmgren…
For some reason, I had thought that Belichick was the oldest, but apparently Carroll is older by about 6-7 months. Huh.
And I think the loss record is one of the reasons Jeff was fired. Kroenke probably realized that it wouldn’t exactly be an honor to have him set the record there. I’m guessing the extension was probably more of a “thank you for sticking with us until we moved” bonus.
I’m disappointed by this largely because I really enjoyed the fact that a guy who got his first head coaching gig as a mid-season replacement for a fired JACK PARDEE was still coaching… and, much like I hate seeing former Montreal Expos retire, I hate to lose one of the league’s few remaining Houston Oilers connections.
Jeff Fisher: fails so bad that he even failed to be the loosingest coach in NFL history…
Maybe the Browns will hire him. He can get his all time loss record and move the Browns from a dumpster fire to a below average team. It’s a win win!
That’s actually a brilliant idea. A student making C’s is a big shot in a class making F’s. Go somewhere that will truly appreciate your 7-9ness, Jeff.
darker eldritch horror
solid mtg reference
Hmm…I figured it was an H.P. Lovecraft reference. Or maybe Dave is into really old Scottish poetry.
Prediction: McDaniels already is real estate shopping in the LA Area, and he’ll have a job there before the GOAT hoists the Lombardi
I’m legitimately concerned that the Pats are going to lose both McDaniels and Patricia to head coaching jobs this offseason. I don’t want to lose either one of them.
Patricia better stay. I want him to inherit the throne.
We might be okay if we lose McDaniels, but we’re screwed if Patricia leaves.
When asked for comments, the Rams Front Office listed 7-9 reasons why Fisher was fired.
lol
He’s gone! Just in time so he can’t beat the Hawks!
The monkey paw strikes again! Kaep collapsed when he used it, let’s see what happens to Fischer. Never catches a fish again?
Next year Fisher will lead San Francisco to a 7-9er