I promise the next themed week won’t be as gross. Coming up with 13+ new ideas to draw every week can get difficult so having themes is actually pretty nice, but you gotta satisfy the 3rd grader in you before you can get abstract. If you have a good theme for a week, let me know! I will probably do a Christmas week later this month.

POOP WEEK IN THE TOILET! What did we learn? Honestly, things seem pretty settled in and on track now. We’ve got a pretty solid idea of who the surefire playoff teams are even if none jump out as obvious SB contenders, a pretty decent slate of wildcard hopefuls, and the teams just not good enough to matter and the absolute dreck. I’d list them like this, personally:

Obvious playoff teams: Packers, Patriots, Cardinals, Bills, Chiefs, Cowboys, Bucs, Ravens, Rams, Titans
Hopefuls: 49ers, Dolphins, Vikings, Chargers, Raiders, Colts, TEAM, Eagles, Broncos, Bengals, Browns
Not really good enough: Giants, Bears, Seahawks, Panthers, Falcons, Saints
Dreck: Jets, Texans, Lions, Jaguars

Obviously with 5 weeks left anything can happen. Several hopefuls took massive dumps this week (49ers, Vikings, Raiders) and several bad teams inched within reach. Even the Seahawks, a team I just mocked for being shit, beat the 49ers and have a very easy schedule down the stretch. It’s amazing how much more open the playoffs feel with 7 teams per conference. Getting that 6th seed used to be a bloodbath now it’s almost cushy.

POOP TIME. You got lucky. I did pretty good.

WEEK 14! Gonna do another theme! Let’s go with…KAIJU WEEK

Actually kind of hard to choose. The Vikings just gave up against the goddamn Lions and the Steelers beat the Ravens. But the Steelers are on the road, play to competition, and that favors the Vikings, so I’ll go Vikings.
If the Steelers win, I’ll draw Mechagodsteela destroying a Viking sexboat fleet

I feel like I might get a few more Saints games right if I just start picking them normally again. They are just so injured but the Jets are garbage.
If the Jets win, I’ll draw Jetsy Danger beating up a giant prawn

This week is already looking like a lot of tough games, I hate it. Panthers fired Joe Brady but my track record with Carolina is absolutely awful when I pick them. Fine, I’ll go Falcons.
If the Panthers win, I’ll draw Camera burning Atlanta to the ground

The Seahawks might actually go on a winning streak
If the Texans win, I’ll draw World Serpent Jack Easterby eating the Space Needle

The Coin is dead, now we have to pick games normally again. Chiefs.
If the Raiders win, I’ll draw Derek Carr as Mothra

Ravens just lost Marlon Humphrey and the Browns are at home but man, the Browns look rough this year.
If the Browns win, I’ll draw Battra Mayfield smashing the Baltimore Aquarium

Cowboys aren’t in major danger of losing the division, but this game is one to keep an eye on.
If the TEAM wins, I’ll draw Dan Spyder eating Jerry Jones

The Titans love to eat the Jaguars for dinner.
If the Jaguars win, I’ll draw King Grindurban

I am at the point where I just want this season to end so changes will be made. Blow us the fuck up, Chargers.
If the Giants win, I’ll draw King Kong holding Justin Herbert as his blond beauty

The Lions won! They are still a bad team.
If the Lions win, I’ll draw Bio-Lion-te tapping the rockies, with violence

The Bengals keep teasing me but I’ll give them the edge here.
If the 49ers win, I’ll draw George Kittle as Redneck Rodan

Tom Brady says Fuck dem Bills
If the Bills win, I’ll draw Josh Allen as the Krakken destroying the Tampa Bay Pirate Ship

Oh Bears, just send the practice squad because who cares.
If the Bears win, I’ll draw the CloverFields monster smashing up Green Bay

The Cardinals are very good and the Rams are sketchy now
If the Rams win, I will draw the star wars Ramcor smashing up the desert