WEEK 16! Remember when we’d only have one week of football left? Now we have two. I’m not sure I’m vibing with that. It felt right to start the playoffs right as the new year hit. If they want to extend the season, move it into august while replacing preseason.

It’s just limping to the finish line at this point. The contenders for the playoffs outside the top few teams are a beautiful chaotic mess and really, no team in either conference feels safe. Even the Packers feel like they could get blind-sighted. The depleted Ravens and fuckup Browns both took the Pack down to the wire. The Patriots have stumbled a bit too, losing two weeks in a row to AFC playoff teams. The Cardinals are absolutely plummeting and if the Vikings hadn’t lost, they would have been at risk of missing the playoffs. As it stands, the Rams now own the division the Cardinals spent all year acting like they were kings of.

I feel the Titans might be one of the most underrated teams, coaching-wise. They have spent the majority of the season hobbled and never actually look that good, but they keep winning. The Ravens are similar but we knew Harbaugh was a good coach already. Vrabel is better than he gets credit for, being forgotten in Nashville like the Titans in general. The Tits came out in the second half of the 49ers game and turned the tables immediately in a game they looked lost in. Admirable stuff.

The Chargers lost to the Texans. This is why nobody should ever take the Chargers seriously as a contender, ever. Until this team actually wins a championship, they are a vaudeville act.

The Seahawks are out of the playoffs. A regular NFC staple is gone. End of an era. Also, I want to extend a big congrats to Joe Burrow for setting Baltimore on fire. I know the Ravens are very depleted, but watching record performance beatdowns is special.

PICKS! Did better than average again as the season is pretty clear now, even with the high chaos levels.

WEEK 17: No theme, just gonna do a normal week this time.

Right now, the Giants own the 5th pick in the NFL draft thanks to themselves, and the 8th pick thanks to the trade with the Bears. So do I root for the Bears to win, keeping the Giants as high as possible but potentially pushing the bears lower, or do I root for the Giants to potentially move the Giants lower but keep both picks in the top 10 easier? I feel like I should go with the former. The Giants cant end up with the same record as the Panthers because they will drop a slot, but the Bears can’t move out of the top ten very easily even with 2 wins. So go Bears!
If the Giants win, I will draw Joe Judge enjoying a free medium soda

Well the Patriots get to regroup on the worst team in the league
If the Jaguars win, I will draw Trevor Lawrence spearing Pat Patriot with a Subway Sandwich

Will Patriots/Jags or this game be a bigger one-sided slaughter? The Jags are worse than the Jets, but Brady HATES the Jets. I feel like this one will be worse.
If the Jets win, I will draw baby Zach Wilson as a facehugger on Tom Brady

The Bills kept their hope and pride alive by beating the Pats in Foxboro, avenging the embarrassment earlier this year. The Falcons are bad.
If the Falcons win, I will draw the state of Georgia teabagging western new york

Remember those 5 weeks earlier this season when the Chiefs didn’t look good? Weird times.
If the Bengals win, I will draw Joey the Tiger casting Kermit Mahomes into the fires of Mt Doom

The Tits are trying to hold off the Colts and the Dolphins are still on the outside looking in. A major test for the Dolphins that I’m not sure they’ll pull off.
If the Dolphins win, I will draw a buff dolphin doing deadlifts

Legit impressed by the Colts this year. I thought Wentz would be a huge bust, and he isn’t the reason they are succeeding, but I’m still impressed this team has managed to quietly climb the ranks and they could cause some problems as a dark horse.
If the Raiders win, I will draw Derek Car winning the Indianapolis 500

Funny to think the Eagles, not the TEAM, would be the secondary NFCE playoff threat. Team had a couple of weeks there but the Eagles have been strong the second half of the year. Man it must be nice to have your team rebuild and appear to have potential.
If the TEAM wins, I will draw Jalen Hurts drowning in the FedEx sewer leak

I guess I’ll go Saints because the Saints have no QB, but are sort of competent, and the Panthers have no QB, and are not competent.
If the Panthers win, I will draw a panther hunting the pope

Uh, fuck. Chargers?
If the Broncos win, I will draw a horse electrocuting itself putting a fork in a socket

What if last week wasn’t a fluke? It would be hilarious.
If the Texans win, I will draw Kyle Shanahan, Fools Gold

The Ravens might not make the playoffs at this rate. Those two games lost to poorly executed 2pt conversions are killing them right now. I agree with the call both times, but both times the team did not properly execute the play or call the right play for the situation. Shame, because old stuffers are using it as an argument against analytics when it kind of isn’t. The call, mathematically, was sound. The thing is you have to execute or the math doesn’t matter.
If the Ravens win, I will draw an almost dead corpse pulling himself out of the grave. Not dead yet!

The Lions might win this one! Can’t pick them though.
If the Lions win, I will draw Dan Campbell using Russ as a kettlebell

The Cardinals are falling apart
If the Cardinals win, I will draw Kyler sleeping on a sleep number bed, which is squishing Dak Prescott

Sorry Vikes, you ain’t gonna make it
If the Vikings win, I will draw Kirk Cousins packing Rodgers into a box

Sad year for the Browns. They had a lot of potential and hype, but injuries, bad luck, and some regression by Baker held them back. Now they face a more uncertain future than before. The Steelers are continuing the quest for 8-8-1, and will of course win this game.
If the Browns win, I will draw snoopy flying on his doghouse, shooting down big ben

A REMINDER: I’m taking this week off outside this post to relax. Enjoy the rest of 2021 and I’ll see you in 2022.