70 Fucking Points
I’m astonished at how little that number is being discussed right now. 70 points. The last time anyone scored so much they had a 7 in the front, it was 1966. It’s been almost 60 years since someone hit 70 points. This doesn’t happen. Unless you are over 57 years old, you have never existed in a world where an NFL team scored 70 points. You’d probably have to be at least 65 to even have the possibility of remembering it. Fucking 70 points on a hot Sunday afternoon in Miami.
To be straight that was just another Murphy’s Law game. The Denver defense is pretty awful but you don’t hit 70 points by just being awful. And this is, without a doubt, the worst defensive performance of all time. The Dolphins gained a record 726 offensive yards in the game. They scored 10 touchdowns, 5 passing, 5 rushing. A member of the SA forums looked into the 3 other games to ever hit 70 points, and in all 3 cases, the point total included one or more defensive/ST scores.
70 Fucking Points. And it could have been even better.
Some discussion in the comments under yesterday’s post went into it already, but I agree that you don’t hit 70 points without trying, and McDaniel was absolutely running the score up and disobeying the “unwritten rules” that once a game gets out of hand you do your best to just sorta speed the game along and rush out the clock to leave everyone with dignity. I understand the desire to not drag out the humiliation longer than necessary and that everyone sort of stops trying after a certain point. But on the other hand? Fuck unwritten rules. I hate unwritten rules. Fuck your backdoor agreements. The Dolphins had a chance to set the record and I’m honestly kind of furious McDaniel pulled up at the last minute.
Who are you fooling, Mikey? You may have put the backups in but you were still calling deep shots and going for the big plays when up by 4 touchdowns, we know what you were doing. At that point, fucking go for it. Slam the pedal to the floor for the full 60 minutes. If you are going to go that hard, get that game fucking pregnant; don’t pull out. Pulling out doesn’t work and disappoints everyone. You were that close. You had an easy field goal to tie the record. If you had the attitude to go that deep, finish the damn job. Stick your name in the record books. Who cares what a bunch of old grumpy geezers think? Sean Payton is an asshole and talks immeasurable levels of shit, take that shit and trebuchet it back into his colon till it slams into his bile duct and shatters his pancreas like glass.
To be honest that game got so out of hand so fast there was no way to not be kind of disrespectful. If McDaniel sends out the backups to start the 3rd quarter and calls a run up the gut 3 times in a row every single time they have the ball, that’s also disrespectful, just in a different way. Any indication of not giving the game his effort would also be, in effect, disrespectful. It would almost be disrespectful to his backups and such to not give them a chance to prove themselves when they get a chance. If you end up in a game that wild and think you have a chance, I say take that chance. We may never see an opportunity to set a record like that again and I hate that we were robbed because McDaniel decided to be “classy” in the last second. Frankly that was the most disrespectful action of all.
I take it back, the Broncos defense was the most disrespectful thing of all to the sport of football. Vance Joseph seems like a nice guy. He does not belong coordinating defenses anymore.
I don’t think any coach has ever done so much to jeopardize their reputation in one single game as Sean Payton did. Yes, it’s the Murphy’s Law game to end all Murphy’s Law games. But it was still enough to make me completely question Payton’s entire coaching history. Before this I thought he was generally one of the better coaches in this century. Now, I’m reminded that he DID have to resort to paying his team to physically maim opposing players in order to win back in the day.
You know who might remember that Sean Payton paid for injuring opponents? The guy who ultimately decided that maybe trying for the record against someone with that track record wasn’t the best idea
Is it safe to say that Vance Joseph is no longer HAVING. THE TIME. OF HIS LIFE.
There should be an unwritten rule. If you start pulling your starters, you’re conceding the contest, so the other team can pull their starters and go uber-conservative. If you’re still playing your starters, you’re still trying, so the other team can be allowed too as well.
It makes sense not to run trick plays or open the playbook completely, but if the other team can’t stop basic plays, that’s on them. Besides, a game is a perfect opportunity to put in the backups and give the team game-experience playing with a backup QB or a backup WR. If I was a coach, I’d pick a random play where I’d put in the backup QB to simulate an injury so the offensive and backup will practice what to do if the unthinkable happens.
Putting in backups to gain real game experience against a legit opponent makes sense. The Dolphins offensive backups were not facing a legit nfl defence
I didn’t get to watch that game, but when I read about it and check the stats and whatnot, it just seems more like someone accidentally posted their Madden game instead of a real game. This game was such an outlier that it made the Bears getting destroyed seem ho hum by comparison.
Wait, Something Awful is still around?
Nothing ever dies anymore. Except for Lowtax anyway.
I had the same thoughts
Coach McD found the real world’s Konami Code, then proceeded to MELT Payton. There should be a fiery 天 on his back in that last frame.
THAT’S what happens when you don’t even give an ex-intern an interview. McDaniel clearly told his guys how much he wanted this one. Given which, I think, makes the decision not to take the record even sweeter. We could, you know we could, but we ain’t gonna. We know we better than you, but we set, tied and broke a stupid number of records already in this game, and that’s enough. And so did you – nobody ever gave up 70 and 700 on D before.
AND we got a Scorigami.
Tua probably remembers Sean Payton’s comments about him. Fangio definitely remembers that he was fired by the Broncos. McDaniel wasn’t the only one with an axe to grind against this team
Right on the money imho
With Tuas injury history, the Broncos inability to stop the run and play any meaningfull offense (*) and a halftime score of 35-10 in a regular season game the logical and sane thing to do would be pulling starters at halftime starting with Tua. Him seeing the field in the second half at all, much less in the 4th quarter, basicaly confirms they intentionaly wanted to run up the score
* Before anyone says “bUt wILsOn LoOkEd fINe” yeah he did have okay/good passing stats at the end of the game but that was AFTER playing vs prevent defense for half the game giving him lots of intermediate throws to rack up yards. Still couldnt score for shit in the redzone
As a Saints fan, I approve this comic.
The fact that McDaniel didn’t go for the record is even more disrespectful. Like you’ve already hit 70. Unwritten rules and sportsmanship were completely out the window once you broke the barrier of 59. Go for the record. Obliterate it. Shoot, go for 100! Doing all of that just to feign sportsmanship right when you’re at the doorstep of history is about as disrespectful as it gets.
We were all extremely skeptical when Vance Joseph was brought back to Denver and uh. Yeah seems like we were right for that
“If you are going to go that hard, get that game fucking pregnant; don’t pull out”. This line is fucking poetry, well done.
I wish he ran up the score even more than he did. That being said, if it was the 49ers doing it I would be begging for them to bench all the starters just to avoid any unnecessary injuries. Records are cool and all, but I’d much rather see my team hoisting the Lombardi in February. I do find it interesting that some of the most lopsided Super Bowl beat downs also involved the Denver Broncos.
Well according to Mike Lombardi, just because Miami scored 70 points, doesn’t mean they’re a 70 point team. (He actually tweeted this)
Payton is a smug douchebag that really had it coming. Unless you’re Bill Parcells or one of the other few truly great coaches, it is very hard to repeat success. In Nawlins, Payton had the luxury of one of the best and deepest rosters over a 10-year span and a HOF QB in Brees. To me it reflects poorly on Payton that they only got one Lombardi with those teams. He may still yet be a good coach, but you can’t not question his abilities as a leader.
His hubris of blaming Hackett for last year’s fiasco in Donkeyworld allowed the players to actually believe they had no part in it.
I think a lot of it was because it was Peyton. If it had been almost any other team, Miami would have let up.
Fun Fact: Mike Mcdaniel used to be the bal boy for the Broncos.
*Ball
Talk about beating a dead horse.
trying to determine how many unique pics there are out of those 70
im guessing about 20. hard to say at a glance (doesnt seem to be a pattern to the repeats) and i dont feel like doing more work to figure it out
This reminds me of how Donkey Kong beats the shit out of bosses in DKC Returns
70 points is awesome, even better that it happened to Mr. Bountygate