The Dolphins Are Frauds
The best part of early season NFL is you still really don’t know who is good and who is bad yet. Everything will ultimately become clear with time as we discover the frauds and which teams are actually contenders. For example: Are the Vikings good? It is very hard to know! Are the Bears good? They seem to be, though they’ve faced an easy schedule. What about the Lions? They look awful, and then they beat the Packers. The Titans? They showed up Jacksonville then lost to Buffalo. The Steelers beat Atlanta, but the Steelers got clobbered by the Ravens, who just lost to The Browns. The Browns lost to the Raiders, who have looked bad against everyone else. There’s so much mystery! Who is a pretender?
The Dolphins. The Dolphins are very likely pretenders. They started out 3-0 and I don’t think literally anyone gave them credit for it. I saw zero Dolphins hype. They beat the Titans week one, which as explained above is like…who knows? They then beat the Jets, who have also proven to be frauds (Except they just demolished the Broncos…what?), and then they came back to beat the Raiders, which was just par for the course for Oakland at the time.
I’ll give them a pass for losing against the Pats in Foxboro. They were never going to win that game. The Pats were due for a soul crushing reminder that they are just fine and the fish never win in Foxboro anyway. But the way they lost was pretty ugly and coming into this week against another 3-1 Cincy team that is also often a fraud the Dolphins had a chance to prove us all wrong. All of us haters who never believed in them. They did! until halftime. Turns out maybe the Bengals aren’t frauds. Yet. Wildcard weekend hasn’t come yet.
But was anyone really surprised the Dolphins lost? Can anyone tell me they thought the Dolphins were for real? I asked a Dolphins fan if he thought the team was good on Saturday night before this game happened. He laughed and said of course they were frauds. Even their own fans understand the depth of the fraud at play.
The Phins play the Bears next week, then the schizophrenic Lions, and then finally the Texans, who are for sure bad.
Wait. This is the remainder of their schedule:
-Bears
-Lions
-Texans
-Jets
-Packers
-Colts
-Bills
-Pats
-Vikings
-Jags
-Buf
That’s…not a particularly hard schedule if current trends hold true. This fraud team is gonna go like 8-8 or 9-7 and utterly disappoint everyone.
Note on the Jets: The Broncos are also frauds, so destroying us shouldn’t be taken into account as to whether a team is good or not. It was pretty clear even in our 2-0 start that there were issues with dumb penalties and missed tackles (the latter of which absolutely never happened to the Super Bowl team that already feels so long ago…) both of which point to serious coaching issues that will likely cost Vance Joseph his job. Which is a shame because I like his risk taking coaching style but, well. If you’re going to be risky you can’t be clumsy.
Wow…my Broncos-Falcons superbowl predictions looks like the most stupid prediction in history. I thought with Keenum, we’d take the step forward and instead I got drunk on the Orange Kool-Aid.
This season is a write-off already, and a genuine rebuild is necessary. Rip the band-aid right off.
Dave, you need to have a Broncos fan with an “I Miss E̶l̶w̶a̶y P̶e̶y̶t̶o̶n T̶a̶l̶i̶b Wade Phillips” t-shirt.
A little bit of Detroit winning big
A little bit of Fitz losing the starting gig
A little bit of Odell at QB
A little bit of Wilson scoring 3
A little bit of Shady turning on a dime
A little bit of Cleveland in overtime
A little bit of Chucky losing to the Bolts
A little bit of Gordon running past the Colts
aaaaaaaaaaand your gimmick is old… now.
Still not me and Arena Football
They got Bengal’d lol
Yeah but what about Kermit
The Dolphins are still paying for wasting Marino’s career, lol.
Wasting his career. Sure, he never got to win any Super Bowls, but if it wasn’t for the Dolphins, would he have gotten to star in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective? I think not.
I don’t think the Jets can be frauds if they only one a game leading up to yesterday
I wouldn’t really say the Titans beating Jacksonville 9-6 was really showing them up lmao, it was more of bortles just being bortles
Wait are you saying that my Falcons might not be as bad as 1-4. Yes you are telling me there is a chance
Everyone is a fraud.
Last related comic link: “Adam Gase Gives The Dolphins Their Dignity”
NO HE REALLY DOESN’T
And shouldn’t each team’s record be 3-1 in the first two panels?
So is the buff Dolphin guy hitting the gym? He’s getting pretty big now.
Looking at last night…
Brees, man. Drew frickin’ Brees. We coulda had him in aqua.
Passed him up. Twice.
Who we go for?
Culpepper. Henne. Cutler. Fucken’ Osweiler.
It’s the hope I can’t stand…
Tannehill
What are you talking about? According to Cian Fahey, Tannehill is like a top 10 ever QB.
Dez, pez, fez and prez Bryant declared drew Brees the goat on Twitter so it’s basically fact.