Soon after his Achilles tendon decided it had had enough of this bullshit, Aaron Rodgers did his usual Pat McAfee interview where he talked about the treatments he would seek out. One of the things he mentioned in passing was “There’s ideas that some of the noises from the dolphins when they’re love-making, the frequency of that is actually healing to the body”.

Now, this is Aaron Rodgers, so the chances this was him trolling the media was roughly 50%. Rodgers is known to be a little shit and say things he knows will stir the pot for his own amusement, Kyrie Irving style. But also like Kyrie Irving, a lot of the stuff he says is likely stuff he actually believes and then walks back with the puppetmaster defense when people call him out for it. We have confirmations on things Rodgers does genuinely believe, so him listening to some sweet dolphin-loving for the healing vibes is also something that is most definitely not past him.

Watching the Quarterback show on Netflix taught us that Kirk also isn’t beyond going to big lengths to take care of himself. He has physical therapists and chiropractors come to his house and work on his body, limber him up, stretch him out, etc. He puts electrodes on his head and tests his focus energy by staring at screens. Kirk is not above being a weirdo. Honestly, I’d love to know what other weird shit long-lasting top-level athletes do to keep their bodies in peak condition. We all laughed at Tom Brady and his pliability exercises and how he drinks an entire water tank per day but it must have helped. It wouldn’t help you or me, but when you are at that level any small factor can make a difference I guess. If I drank 10 gallons of water every day I might feel a little better but I’d also have to pee every ten minutes.

Do you think Kirk and Rodgers are friends? I feel like they aren’t compatible. Obviously, they are on par on some issues but Kirk seems like a very vanilla boy who just wants to go to church with his family and bake cookies. He’s the most Trad of all the QBs. He won’t tell jokes, he’s never taken a sip of alcohol, he’s never done any position besides missionary and even if you disagree with him on heated topics he’d probably be polite and hear you out. Rodgers is a libertarian hippie wacko who would 100% not listen to anything you say but talk at you about all these things he finds really “interesting” before he hands you some drugs you’ve never heard of before bringing you into the orgy tent. Rodgers would definitely be the more fun hang with some increased risk of death and Kirk would be bland but pleasant company.

I don’t really have a point to this blog post I guess I just wanted to draw dolphin fucking since that’s part of my brand now.