When the offseason started I think Jimmy Garoppolo was easily understood as the #1 QB on the trading block (outside Watson, who was a special case). Russell Wilson was merely speculation. Wentz was not highly considered. Ryan was possible speculation due to his cap hit. The instant the 49ers lost to the Rams, partially due to Jimmy sucking, we all collectively knew he was out. The 49ers moved up to pick Trey Lance and sat him on the bench all year for the experience. Jimmy was out. Who would pick him up?

Now, a good time into free agency and the offseason, Jimmy remains a 49er. Most free agent QBs like Mariota, Trubisky, Jameis, Tyrod, have found a team. Watson, Ryan, and Wentz got traded. Cousins, Rodgers, and Brady have all rejoined their prior teams. Baker is the only big question mark besides Jimmy, and mostly because he got booted for Watson. The Browns are probably going to have to suffer a cheap trade for Baker since they lost all leverage on that one. I guess there is also mild speculation on if the Titans move on from Tannehill, but until actual things happen there, probably not worth paying attention to. The draft will also feature some QBs getting picked up, by probably by stupid Carolina or maybe Detroit. I don’t see the Giants drafting one.

So maybe we should look into the potential theories about why Jimmy is still a 49er.

Trey Lance actually sucks ass and the 49ers realize they might need to keep Jimmy around
The 49ers gave up a lot for Lance in the draft last year. Lance was seen as a project, having little experience but lots of potential. Sitting him for a year behind a guy like Jimmy made sense. But he still saw significantly less playing time for a guy who is supposedly the future. The 49ers see Lance in practice every day. They watch him throw and run the offense. They work with him in the film room. They have more knowledge of him than anyone else in the league does right now. So maybe…Trey Lance is total balls and the 49ers realize they fucked up so they have to keep Jimmy around because without him, they won’t win a damn thing and maybe if they can fix Jimmy they can swindle someone into trading for Lance later.

They are holding out to trade him to the Bucs for Tom Brady
One of those wild rumors that has just enough plausibility to be possible. Some have theorized Brady’s retirement was a stunt to try and get out. Some have theorized that he’s coming back to try and go out playing for his beloved hometown team to close out his 50-year career. While Jimmy getting ditched for Tom Brady for the second time in his career would be funny, I’m not sure it’s going to happen. The 49ers will have to give up more than Jimmy to get Tom and they don’t have a ton they’d easily part with.

Jimmy is in the dreaded Too Mediocre To Want zone
Jimmy is in that obnoxious zone of QB. He’s not a bad QB. He’s solid. He can win games. He can make the throws. He can do it. He can go to a super bowl and reach the playoffs. He’s even been healthier, somewhat. But he’s also still not good enough. He was a big part of the reason the 49ers lost that super bowl and haven’t made it back despite some stacked teams. Jimmy doesn’t elevate the team around him. He’s just bad enough that it’s obvious you need a lot around him to make it work. He’s not good enough to give a good roster the win-now push they need, especially at his cost. Jimmy isn’t going to get your team to the promised land, but he’s not bad enough to easily slide into a backup role for cheap, at least not yet. He’s cursed in the middle.

Jimmy’s shoulder injury and contract are scaring teams off
Jimmy’s health has always been a concern and he’s not cheap. This kinda goes in with the last one, but Jimmy is expensive for how good he is, and his pretty, pretty face, gorgeous abs, and supple legs are built for beauty and not brawn. His shoulder needed surgery. So on top of eating that contract and being mediocre, he might not even be healthy. The contract thing might be the biggest hurdle, because a team could certainly use Jimmy as a stopgap. The Steelers would have been better off with Jimmy than Trubisky (probably) but Trubes is cheap. The Panthers might be somewhat functional with Jimmy but they’d be paying for what, 6 QBs because of poor choices? Jesus christ fire Matt Rhule

Jimmy is three dogs in a trenchcoat
Look, I’m not saying he is, but I’m not saying he isn’t. He’s too good-looking to be real.

Jimmy is too hot and teams were afraid to ask him out because wow he has to have a team already right he’s too hot to be on the market I’m just not good enough he’ll reject me
Lotta teams slipping their number into his mail, or trying to get teams with QBs to set them up, but none of it has worked. The Jets tried to match with him on Tinder but accidentally swiped for Joe Flacco.