This was sent to me by Gavin Kelly. Thanks, Gavin! I’ll let him say his part:

When my British friends find out that I like American football they almost all complain about how long it is and how stop start the game is and how ridiculous all of the names are.

Many of these people are cricket fans. Yet Willey, Wood and Ball are all actually part of the English national cricket team. I also enjoy how US commentators pronounce the Baltimore punter Sam Koch’s surname as “cook”, we all know how it’s really said.

Cricket takes the whole bloody day! Not just three hours like American football. Every 6 balls they change ends and have a little break. They even stop for cucumber sandwiches. Cricket is the most stop start. So this is my reaction against that.

Hope you enjoy.
I’ve never understood Cricket. I’ve tried reading up on it multiple times, tried watching it many times, and each time I come away in a state of complete bafflement. It keeps taking the part of my brain wired to understand baseball and stabbing it and making it hurt. It’s not baseball, but it looks kind of like baseball, but what the fuck is happening. The best thing Cricket ever did was give us a great prop weapon in Shaun of the Dead.

Also Brits can’t make fun of our names if they are going to ship us people like Benedict Cumberbatch, a name so ludicrously British that people constantly make up different incorrect versions for fun. My personal go-to is Bendytoots Cumberbund. Also, check out this list of actual people.

Also Dick Butkus will be forever hilarious but no intelligent person would ever say it to his face.