Have the Vikings ever played a normal game? I cannot remember the last time the Vikings had a boring game. They are entertaining in close games. They are entertaining in blowouts, both ways. They refuse to be normal. They took on the Bears in the usual 2023 Vikings sloppy mess, knocked Justin Fields out, and won the game. That win included strip-sacking the undrafted backup QB, some guy. The Bengals defense has come to life and Burrow finally looks like he’s getting back to normal. The 49ers and Eagles both getting knocked into the loss column in one week was spectacular. It was interesting to see Brock Purdy play an actual defense and struggle, and he did not look good. Purdy has been a lightning rod of discussion this year, the focal point of a classic “system QB or not” argument. I’ll probably have to make a comic about it. The Broncos defense finally showed up against the Chiefs of all teams…only for Russ to fall back into his bad habits. I guess only one side of the ball in Denver can function at once. As for the other outcomes? Ridder is not him. Mac Jones is definitely not him. I can’t believe Matt Patricia got fired and the Patriots offense got worse. Stroud and the Texans continue to impress despite flaws, and the Saints became unwatchable again. The Panthers also briefly flirted with success by going up 14-0 on the might Dolphins. They lost 42-21. The Panthers are bad. Not a good year to be lacking the top pick. Chicago is still on pace to own the top 2 picks in the draft. Lastly I want to give a kudos to the Cardinals. The Cardinals are bad, but they aren’t tanking. They are the latest in a long line of teams who look like the worst team ever going into the season only to show some fight and only be pretty bad instead. Finally, the Chargers Chargers’d once more.

Bench Daniel Jones. I mean it. Watching Tyrod against the Bills, behind an offensive line that could barely be considered patchwork, with the same basic weapons Jones has had, made it very clear that Daniel Jones is suffering from David Carr Syndrome. Yeah, Saquon being back definitely helped take some pressure off Tyrod but our left tackle that game shortly into the first was a guy coming off an ACL tear, who hadn’t played football in over a year, on another team. Watching Tyrod throw the ball on time even under pressure was illuminating because so many of those plays would have been Daniel Jones getting sacked. Bobby Okereke is turning into a stud pickup and the defense was impressive. Tyrod has his own flaws and that screw-up before half was inexcusable, but that’s like 1 inexcusable mess-up compared to so many by Jones. The schedule lightens up a bit now and since the season is toast I hope Daboll and company take the time to reset things and figure stuff out to plan for the offseason. If they keep Jones off the field for a bit, let him mentally reset, maybe it’ll help. The Giants aren’t likely to win the Caleb Sweepstakes anyway, but one of the next top QB options might work.

The Jets earned their first win against the Eagles. EVER. LITERALLY EVER. The Jets had never beaten the Eagles in franchise history. Imagine how good this Jets team would be with Rodgers back there, it makes me sick. Instead, we have Chaos Jets, an incredible team carrying Zach Wilson to victory as hard as he crawls in the opposite direction. Jalen Hurts looked terrible against the stud defense, and honestly, the Eagles look off this season despite their record. Im not willing to call fraud yet but red flags are starting to show.

The Giants messing up before the half was one of the dumbest things we’ll see all year. Im not sure exactly what happened there, looked like Tyrod checked into a run play option, but why was running the ball even on the table in that situation? One pass, kick the field goal if it fails. Absolute team brainfart. Also, I want to give a shoutout to one of my favorite High Chaos plays, the QB catching his own pass. That play is rare and funny every time.

The Jets are hamstrung by a bad QB, but Rodgers is now throwing balls (gently) without crutches on the sideline, and this team is otherwise good enough to make everything a struggle. They might just fuck around enough to land a lower seed with Zach fucking Wilson at QB.

The Bills. The Bills went to London and laid an egg against the Jaguars. They come back home to Buffalo and somehow end up in a slugfest with the Giants, a team that by all means they should have obliterated. When these Bills are clicking, they are one of the best teams in the league, if not the best. We saw that team against the Dolphins and Commanders. But this team struggles badly and falls apart on random nonsensical occasions. This just feels like another spectacular divisional round exit team waiting to happen.

The 49ers. The Browns defense is good, great even, but they were playing PJ Walker in his first start this year, and they couldn’t pull it off? This game raised a lot of questions.

The Raiders. They won! But this team is not watchable or fun. They just aren’t interesting. The Patriots are also bad, but they are fascinating to watch because it’s so unusual and awful. This Raiders team under McDaniels feels like it has no identity or vibe, it just exists, and my eyes slide off the screen.


BETS FOR NEXT WEEK – WRESTLERS (I require any suggestions you have here, my wrestling knowledge is limited to binging Dark Side of the Ring episodes, but let’s keep it mostly to the famous classic guys who have a distinct look)

This felt like a sho-in for the Jaguars until I heard Trevor has a knee sprain. A knee sprain on a short week, away, is a problem. Trevor isn’t Mr Scrambles but this is still going to make him a lesser version of himself.
If the Jaguars win, I will draw Trevor Lawrence as Ric Flair

Bucs. Falcons are just so bleh. Just so bleh. Arthur Smith is the coaching equivalent of of soggy french fries that your local dive reheated in the microwave. Edible, but only because you have to eat something, and somehow ended up here.
If the Falcons win, I will draw Bijan Robinson as Randy Savage

This is going to depend on Fields, shockingly enough. If Fields is in, the Bears have a chance. If he isn’t, this shit is toast. Going Raiders anyway.
If the Bears win, I will draw Justin Fields as The Rock

Colts are about to get leveled by that defense.
If the Colts win, I will draw Garnder Minshew as The Hulkster

I want to have faith in the Giants and this is the first winnable game since week 2, but I have no faith. Faith is for fools.
If the Giants win, I will draw Brian Daboll as Big Show

Lions gotta knock off these playoff contenders if they want to keep the momentum.
If the Ravens win, I will draw Lamar Jackson as The Undertaker

Bills get a chance to get back on track by humiliating their long-time enemy. Just take out your frustrations on them, Buffalo.
If the Patriots win, I will draw Mac Jones as CM Punk

BIRDS. Seahawks.
If the Cardinals win, I will draw Josh Dobbs as Kurt Angle

Rams. Steelers can win this, but this is a mediocre team and they love to just hover around .500. The Tomlin special. Now that Kupp is back in town the Rams are feisty.
If the Steelers win, I will draw Kenny Pickett as Shawn Michaels

Chiefs. The Chargers will put up a fight because it’s a Sunday afternoon game and the Chiefs feel a bit underwhelming, but Im not picking against Mahomes.
If the Chargers win, I will draw Justin Herbert as The Ultimate Warrior

fuck…this is hard? Love is balls, Russ is balls, Payton is balls, the Packers are balls, this game is balls. Flipping a coin….Packers.
If the Broncos win, I will draw Russ as Rey Mysterio

Dolphins are the most fun team to watch in ages if you love offense. Probably going to set records, roll through the playoffs, and get stuffed by some defense in the Super Bowl because that’s what happens to record-setting offenses. So I guess my pick for the SB is 49ers over Dolphins?
If the Eagles win, I will draw Jalen Hurts as Stone Cold Steve Austin

Vikings, this shall be an honorable death, unlike most of the deaths you’ve had this year.
If the Vikings win, I will draw Kirk Cousins as John Cena

If we get a tie, I will draw both QBs getting Montreal Screwjobbed