The Chargers Just Can’t Finish
The Chargers lost another game this past week to go 1-3 on the season. Most people expected the Chargers to be mediocre this year at best (myself included) but this has not been your regular 1-3 team. This has been a disgusting heartbreak of a team. As a Giants fan who had to watch at least 5 bad losses in the final 2 minutes of the game last season, I very much have sympathy for those poor fans. Watching a team lose is one thing. Watching a team mostly win and then flop around like a dying fish when it matters is far worse.
RECAP!
Week 1: San Diego dominates the Chiefs, take their foot off the gas, get lazy, and the Chiefs mount a miraculous comeback to force overtime, win in overtime. Chargers fans sad, but team looks better than expected! Keenan Allen Dies.
Week 2: They blow out the Jags, a team expected to not be as shit as they are. Looking up! Oh but Danny Woodhead Dies.
Week 3: They go back and forth with a bad Colts team, give up game winning TD in final minutes to TY Hilton, Chargers fans begin to experience major worry. Manti Teo Dies.
Week 4: Team trades scores with 0-3 Saints team, begin to pull away by 4th quarter, then fumble on two straight drives and allow TDs after each one to let Saints come back to win, throw INT on final chance. Chargers fans get very, very sad. No one died though, I guess.
The Chargers could easily be 4-0 and instead they are 1-3, with two of those losses to bad teams. They are stuck in a very hard division and have already set themselves possibly too far back in the race to have hope of catching up. This sort of thing happens to teams each year, that it’s happening to the Bolts isn’t terribly noteworthy. Except it kind of is. Earlier this year I had a Chargers fan on The Draw Play Podcast (He’s actually the individual featured failing at suicide in the comic above) and on that Podcast he told us of a very important fact. The city of San Diego is voting on whether or not to approve a stadium this year, sometime around the end of October, I believe. The reason this matters is because the fate of the team in SD most likely depends on it, and the chances of that vote passing when the Bolts are playing well and looking good is higher. If the Chargers want to stay in San Diego, they need to endear themselves to the legions of fans left apathetic after years of toil, and so far, they are doing the exact opposite.
Edit: As noted by several commenters, Jason Verrett is now dead, and the Chargers streak of killing someone each week continues.
dude your text is all red and orange now
WHOA
I was at this game, it was pretty brutal. Definitely more fun to be representing the away team, and there were a lot of us leaving happy at the gift our Saints were given.
…but I used to live in San Diego and I know their pain, many of their fans have been turned into “The Jaded Fan” and I admire their dedication and want to see them keep their team so here’s hoping they vote to keep them despite the lousy ownership.
” with two of those losses to bad teams”
I think you mean 3 bad teams. The Chiefs are pretty bad this year, too.
Nope.
I consider the Chiefs to be quite mediocre, I don’t consider them bad. Yet.
The sum total record of the teams they’ve beat:
2-6. Woo. They were beat by the only mediocre team they’ve played (Texans), and blown out by the only good team they’ve played. They may not be bottom-of-the-barrel-awful like the Browns, but they’re still pretty bad.
Things are right in the AFC again– the Chiefs are bad, the Chargers are terrible, the Raiders and the Broncos are fighting for pole position.
Welcome back to 1986
They beat a mediocre team (Jets)
They lost to a mediocre team (Texans)
They beat a bad team (Chargers)
They got beat by a good team (Steelers)
That screams mediocre to me
In what universe is a team that is 8-3 considered bad? Even the incredibly flukey undefeated Steelers or 9-2 Vikings weren’t bad teams, they just weren’t as good as their record.
This one didn’t really work for me, I’m afraid. The suicide by gun and the Chargers uniform made me think of Junior Seau and then it all just got sad.
We gonna need a comic of me breaking that bitchboy Odell next lmaoooooo
OBJ’s worst game ever and he whined like a little kid. It was fun to watch Rhodes shut him down.
STEELERS VS VIKINGS SUPER BOWL HYPE!!!!!
That’s my Smokin’ HotTake of the week
Broncos vs. Vikings. Defensive match for the ages.
First to 2 safeties wins
I really hope it doesn’t come down to that, because in that case field goals will become really important and I have no faith in Blair Walsh.
Steelers can’t keep up with the vikes. They’ve been murdering good offenses and the steelers don’t have a defense to prevent the vikes from scoring. I’d rather see Broncos V. Vikes.
You never know. AFC is going to be won by whoever gets the 1 seed out of the Steelers, Pats, and Broncos because homefiels advantage is key in that conference. The NFC is going to be won by whoever gets the 1 seed out of the Falcons, Seahawks, and Vikings. Only these 9 Superbowl matchups are possible this year.
What about the Eagles man? You should just except that we are inevitably going to win the super bowl with a rookie HC and qb.
Browns lost another center. This is like 2013, when it seemed like every time they found a competent quarterback, God kept forcing them to play Weeden. They don’t want Alvin Bailey starting but everyone that replaces him gets hurt.
Have you ever considered the possibility that we’re living in a quantum reality such that when there is a decision to be made that will impact the Browns, no matter what that decision is, the Browns will be left with the one that ultimately hurts them most? This also suggests a possible alternate reality in which every QB on that jersey goes on to win a Superbowl.
So it’s like a “Worst of All Possible Worlds” as far as the Browns go. Perhaps the Browns are the final definitive proof that the multiverse exists, as the Browns in this universe are so bad it couldn’t possibly be the result of pure chance and it statistically necessitates the existence of better Browns teams in parallel universes.
Does Baltimore count as an parallel universe?
That is this reality, but for Bucs fans (Young, Testaverde, Dilfer, soon to be Winston)
I hope Orleans Darkwa starts all year because his name is funny and he’s kinda good.
His name could be a Star Wars character.
I think its safe to say that we know nothing about any team in the NFL right now. Last year the Falcons went 6-0 then tanked. Chiefs went 1-5 then won 10 in a row.
Chiefs blew Jets outta the water last week after Jets destroyed the Bills who have gone on to destroy the Cards and the Pats. Eagles did the same thing to Steelers who destroyed KC.
Nothing means anything anymore. This is why the NFL is awesome.
Thought this was going to be a sex joke but then you couldn’t finish. Or was that the joke within a joke? Spooky.
Hey! Don’t take that away from the Saints. Literally every loss has been a heart attack for the past 3-5 years – to the point where I was excited about last year’s blowout loss. I don’t think they keep track of this stat but I’d wager that the Saints D has several record setting seasons for number of blown game winning drives and blown 4th quarter comebacks. Just saying.
Weeks 3 and 4:
Gates was “dead”
at least one offensive linemen (as usual) “dead”
Looks like Ballot Measure C on general election day (November 8th) is the stadium and development plan that would raise hotel room tax by 4%. But needs at 2/3 yes vote to be approved. A simple majority seems to still have hope involving a court ruling and whats needed to raise taxes by ballot, idk.
While the country looks at the presidential election, as a football fan, this vote will be one I keep my eye on to see the next step of the Chargers future.
San Antonio/Oakland Chargers
Somewhere you missed an opportunity to mention Manti Teo’s girlfriend dying.
Manti Te’o died? I’ll just have to slide in and comfort his girlfriend
Jason Verrett might be dead.
Jason Verrett confirmed dead, ACL tear.
goddammit.
Week 5. Bungled snap, ruins field goal to send it to overtime….