Saturn Devouring His Football Son
Well, I promised I would. Here it is. Share it and horrify the remaining Chargers fans you know.
That game was classic Chargers. I’ve already touched on the Titans with the last comic and that game didn’t really do anything to change my opinion of them. Both teams looked their records during that game. But there isn’t anything more Chargers than losing games early in the season by 1 score due to nonsense decisions and comical failures.
If you missed the end of the game, it as hilarious. The Chargers get down to the half-yard line after a review keeps them just shy of the endzone. They have 39 seconds or so. They immediately have a false start penalty and get kicked back 5 yards. The Titans get called for DPI, which was a fair call as Malcom Butler held the WR way too much, so the ball is now back on the one. They try to rush it in, and they get in! Until the booth reviews it and calls it short, which was also the right call. They ran the ball again, appeared to get called short, but the clock stops anyway as if they got in. After about 10 minutes of waiting and review discussion, it turns out Melvin “I want a bigger contract but my holdout didn’t work” Gordon not only didn’t make it into the endzone, he fumbled too, and the Titans recovered it. Game over. Classic Chargers, inventing new dumb ways to lose football games since 1960.
Man the Chargers have been a disappointment this season. In 2018 I thought Anthony Lynn was the coach of the year and didn’t get enough credit for basically having the Chargers keep up with the Chiefs. The Chargers were an easy dark horse pick. Now the season is practically lost and the team is a mess. Ken Whisenhunt is dumb and bad. Their attendance woes are even worse. Rivers is another year older. If they can’t beat the Bears next week it might be toasty time for the Bolts.
BTW, if you want a little art history lesson, go down the rabbit hole that is Goya’s The Black Paintings. It’s pretty fascinating.
Nope nope nope nope so much nope.
Me after seeing the final score: “Fuck me, but I guess it could’ve been worse.”
Me after the watching the last minute: “AHHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT ARE THE ODDS MAN? WHAT ARE THE ODDS?”
The black screen WITH your screen name actually makes this comic that much worse. Ouch man. My condolences.
That was a terrifying way to start my Monday. “Man, I can’t what to see what hilarious comic Dave has done this morning…..WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL!!!!! Oh it’s just a chargers comic……”
That sums up everything that everyone in LA seems to feel for the Chargers I think. San Diego died for this. They would still support this team. LA could care less. It feels like they almost don’t care about the Rams sometimes. Also, somewhat possibly unrelated, but if Tannehill leads the Titans to a playoff berth, does he get unjettisoned somehow from moneyverse hell? Just thinking outloud.
We should make the last two comics with the Titans as Greek Gods relevant to Tannehill’s plight.
If he somehow completely kicks Mariota to the curb and leads the Titans to the playoffs, Dave should draw him coming back from the sun and rejoining Flacco/Smith/Bort, in superhuman form, reincarnated as the Titan sun god Helios.
Nicely, healthily TANNED.
…Hah! Get it? Tannehill, tanned by his trip to the sun…
*is shot*
Ladies and gentlemen, the SECOND joke that Joe Philbin ever tried to tell.
Tannehill can’t lead anyone to the playoffs. That would entail playing well in crunch time and he’s terrible when it matters the most. Only way Tennessee makes the playoffs this year is if Tannehill gets injured with two games remaining and Mariota returns from his benching with a fire under his arse.
Ok but why does Rivers have such a shapely, perfect ass in this comic? lol
Click “The Black Paintings” link above.
(Dave actually spared us a bit….)
Hey buddy, there’s a REASON Mrs. Rivers never has a headache when he comes home.
Fuck Spanos
Also Parkey doinked a PAT.
I have no words for this one
So horrific that it needed a brand new tag.
Oh wow. I followed the link. I’d seen ‘Saturn’ before, and as freaky as that is, ‘Two Old Men’ and ‘Women Laughing’ have sent me deep, deep into the uncanny valley.
Jokes on him, Rivers did not have that spinal fluid he’s looking for!
My wife, instead of relying on me to correctly guess a gift for our anniversary, has been asking for me to find a print of famous paintings from different artists. Last year she picked Goya. And let me tell you, shits dark. Finding one that I thought she might want hung on the wall was very difficult. Moral of the story: giving good gifts would take less work!
Chargers are overhyped every year
They are always the “dark horse” pick every year. Like the Bucs. Anyone who’s been watching at all realizes they are disfunctional and completely unpredictable and can beat or lose to anyone every week. Pure fair chaos. Some teams just want to see the world burn.
They always have been, I mean NFL’s Top 10 best teams without SB win listed 1981 Chargers because of their hard boner for their offense, ignoring that they were 10-6.
Jesse James lost control of the ball as he went to the ground. This is because the Steelers are an undisciplined gang of thugs, who eat beans, broccoli and tacos at the training table. He was a loaded cannon, and tge hard contact with the ground caused a massive fart that in turn caused him to bobble the ball and it touched the ground as the tacos had their way with his bowels. Look at the replay for proof. The Patriots defenders are gassed, the smell prevented them from touching James down momentarily.
Contrast this undisciplined play with Edelman’s catch in SB LI. Belichick’s strict dietary rules prohibit gassy foods, ever. Edelman does not fart during games, ever. Steelers fans stop whining and face facts. That avocado ice cream is part of the syrategy.
I want to see a Belichick comic where he summons ghosts to haunt the Jets.
I really want to see Darnold seeing Ghosts.
*sigh*