More like Cole Billsley! More like Cold Beasley! More like Cole Beasalo! Okay I’m out.

Cole Beasley instantly became a little bit more like-able by taking the star off his helmet. But in case that wasn’t enough, he shot back at some fans criticizing his decision to join the Bills in a good way. Sure, it’s pretty easy to shit on the Bills for not winning very much. Fun too. But when you really think about it, the last time the Cowboys were genuinely Super Bowl threats, it was around the same time the Bills last were as well. Neither team has meaningfully done anything in the postseason since the mid-90’s.

Cole was apparently choosing between the Bills, Patriots, and Cowboys. Not a bad slate of suitors. The Beas Nees has been a sneaky solid #2 option for Dallas for a while now and I am not sad to see him leave. I feel he must really want playing time and to be an integral part of the offense if he chose Buffalo of those 3 teams (or the Bills just offered a ton more money). If winning was the most important thing to him, he’d have done his inevitable duty and gone to be the next shifty white guy in New England. Or he’d at least stick around Dallas, where he is appreciated. Buffalo is probably where he will be the most important though.

If he ended up in NE he’d likely be the Danny Amendola to Julian Edelman and while he’d be catching passes from a great, it’s likely he could just vanish for weeks at a time because Bill will basically just abandon you if he doesn’t like the matchup situation. That kind of situation might be better for his next step. I assume he will be a patriot one day. It feels like destiny. Just maybe not till Julian Edelman is dead.

If he stayed in Dallas he’d stay the obvious #2 option behind Amari Cooper. Dallas appears to be on the upswing but any true fan of the NFC East knows that we exist in a chaos dimension, where nothing can be predicted and nonsense reigns supreme. If the Giants win the NFCE next year, it will be crazy to everyone else, but NFCE fans will just sit back and go “Whelp, just another year in the NFCE”.  This is not me telling you to expect the Giants to be good. Expect them to suck. Just…the NFCE never makes much sense.

However even if Dallas is on the upswing being the #2 support guy for a long time in the same place can probably get old. I don’t blame Cole for wanting a change of scenery to see what he can do in a new place. He’s going to be pretty integral in Buffalo and will get a chance to help Josh Allen and a young roster along.

I wish Cole Beastley the best. Now that’s away he is far more interesting. Go get em, tiger. Win one for the gipper. Eat them wings. Smash them tables.