WEEK 10! We are getting into the thick of it now folks. The real contenders for the playoffs have emerged. The contenders for the top spots have emerged. The teams on the fringe are fighting to stick around. The Jets are going for the dumpster record. Someone might win the NFCE with 4 wins.

Lets start with the Cardiac Cards, this week’s absolute heroes. The Bills came to town and put up a fight. They even won the game with 30 seconds left! A statement win, coming off the big Seattle win. Going into enemy territory, staying ahead of the Dolphins…what a statement win for the Bills. They just have to stop a hail mary. Look, they flushed Kyler off to the side so he can’t even throw the ball at the angle he wants. Now the ball will drop harmlessly to the….did Nuk just catch that?!?!?!

Wow. Godbless. The Texans traded this guy for a 2nd and David Johnson. Never forget. The Cardinals have now pulled off two of the best wins of the entire season.

What else happened? Well nothing too unexpected. Pittsburgh slaughtered Cincy to go 9-0 for the first time in franchise history. That surprises me with all the good Pittsburgh teams that I’ve seen in my life and the history of the franchise. They’ve literally always fucked up at least once before this? Amazing. Granted, Pittsburgh has faced…below average competition overall thus far, but it is notable. The Rams stifled the Seahawks, and Russ’s big MVP push is fading fast after the past two weeks. He’s made some absolutely stupid throws recently that I cannot remember seeing him do before. The infamous DK Metcalf rundown only happened because Russ threw a horrible floater that Baker picked off with ease. This weekend, against the Rams, Russ started to scramble and had roughly 20 yards of free real estate in front of him yet instead he elected to throw it across his body into the corner of the endzone and it got predictably picked off. I thought Russ was smarter than Brett Favre throws.

New England won against a Baltimore team that looked like it just didn’t want to be there. The weather was also horrible, which tends to favor the Pats. The Dolphins also won, making them officially the sexiest team in the AFCE. The Bills large stranglehold on the division suddenly looks a lot more precarious.

But lets talk Chaos Division. The Giants finally beat a football team not named football team! Daniel Jones has two straight games without a turnover! They are now a half-game back in the division! I’ve looked at the remaining schedules for the NFCE and the Giants could theoretically take it with just 4 wins.

-Lets assume none of the teams win a single remaining game outside the division (not that bad a bet, honestly).
-The Giants only have 1 division game left, the Cowboys in week 17. They win this game (without Dak, a reasonable assumption!), and end the season with 4 wins.
-The Eagles do not win another game, ending their season at 3.5 wins, behind the Giants.
-The Team (currently at 2 wins) has two remaining divisional games, Eagles and Cowboys. They could win both games and end the season at 4 wins. They’d still lose the division to the Giants due to tiebreakers.
-The Cowboys have to play the Giants, Eagles, and Team. They drop the Giants game for our argument. If they beat the Eagles and Team, they also have 4 wins. Does this give them the tiebreaker to take the division? I don’t think so, because they would have only won 3 divisional games. The Giants in this scenario have 4, and would have split with Dallas, giving them the tiebreaker.

So the Giants could win this division with 4 wins and then embarrass Tampa Bay in the wildcard. This could happen. It isn’t even that far-fetched. The Eagles are currently in the drivers seat with that single tie in there. This division will likely come down to whichever team manages to steal a win outside the division. I love NFCE football. A 6 or even 5 win playoff contender is very much still on the menu.

HOW’D I DO THIS WEEK? Actually pretty well. Too bad for you. Also whoop whoop for getting the Raiders right two weeks in a row.


I know home field advantage doesn’t mean what it usually does this year, but it feels wrong to pick against the Hawks in Seattle. The NFCW is an absolute bloodbath with three teams at 6-3 (the Hawks are technically in 3rd thanks to tiebreakers) and the 49ers sitting with 4 wins. This is essentially a must win game for both teams if they want to control the divisional race down the stretch. The Cardinals already have an advantage thanks to that earlier win, a loss here could put Seattle in a tough hole despite how good they are.
If the Cardinals win, I will draw Kyler Murray dumping Russ’s MVP votes into Puget Sound

Fuck it. The Steelers play down to competition and they have to lose at some point. This is exactly the kind of game they would overlook, because they play the Ravens on Thanksgiving right afterward. Jake Luton and the Jags gave the Packers a bit of a scare this past weekend. I gotta take the risk a few times, so I’m picking Jags.
If the Steelers win, which they probably will, I will draw Big Ben as godzilla over Jacksonville


Sweet sweet Panthers. They try so hard, but they just aren’t quite good enough. Luckily, this is the Lions they are facing, a team that has needed a couple of miracles to avoid losing to the Falcons and TEAM. The Lions are mediocre at best, and the Panthers are solidly mediocre. We are just waiting for Patricia to eat it at this point. 
If the Lions win, I will draw Matty Patty frolicking

The Patriots slow crawl back into irritating relevance has begun. The Jets win felt difficult and gave me hope they’d stay bad, but the Ravens game looked like the stifling Patriots of old where they just didn’t make mistakes while the other team fucked up. However, this late in the season, it is still weird to think of this game against a utterly demoralized Texans squad as a must-win for the Pats. It’s still bizarre to see them fighting to be relevant in the first place.
If the Texans win, I will draw Whataburger Deshaun Watson stomping on Bill’s Subway sandwich

The Titans have stumbled as of late, but I still believe in my tractor boy. The Ravens? I honestly don’t know what to think. They aren’t bad by any stretch but they just seem less interesting this season. I’m skeptical. 
If the Ravens win, I will draw Lamar Jackson as a happy crab

The Browns are 6-3 and NOBODY IS TALKING ABOUT IT. They didn’t exactly look convincing against Houston, but the Eagles are garbage and if Wayne Gallman could run all over them then Nick Chubb is going to personally murder the family of every defender on the Iggles.  The Browns gotta keep pace for now to stay in the race, and I believe.
If the Eagles win, I will draw Pennsylvania shitting on Ohio

Man it would be hilarious if the Falcons won this and pissed off all the Saints fans. But that’s a tall order.
If the Falcons win, I will draw Mercedez-Benz Stadium kicking the ass of the Mercedes-Benz superdome.

I can’t rightfully pick an NFC east team to win outside the division, even though the Bengals are likely the best chance any of these teams have.
If the TEAM wins, I will draw Riverboat Ron on a tiger skin rug

Genuinely excited to see the Jets continue this losing streak against a team determined to fail at the end of every 4th quarter.
If the Jets win, I will draw Starscream in Jets colors

The Broncos are easily my pick for most unwatchable team this season. They aren’t funny, they aren’t interesting, they aren’t good, they just exist and I hate them.
If the Broncos win, I will draw Bojohn Elway making a can of tuna that is not dolphin safe

The Cowboys are genuinely vile without Dak on the team. I did not expect this team to be worse without Jason Garrett, but they might be. Even with Dak, the coaching here is astoundingly bad.
If the Cowboys win, I will draw a happy oil goblin (jerry jones)

I feel like the Colts are due for a surprising run that demands we pay attention and then they fall apart late. This will be the best win of the season.
If the Packers win, I will draw a large wheel of cheese destroying Indianapolis

I know the Raiders are at home and have already beaten KC in KC, but Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes off a bye? This can’t go well for the Raiders, right?
If the Raiders win, I will draw Derek Carr kicking Kermit in his muppet balls

As expected, the Bucs rallied back after the Saints loss and resumed kicking ass and taking names. The Rams are better than we expected, but this is a tough matchup.
If the Rams win, I will draw a ram ramming Tom Brady off the plank