Well at least now we know where Gronk’s loyalties truly lie: with Tommy, not Billy.

I genuinely thought Gronk would stay retired. He has always been a smarter person than he appears to be. You’d expect the guy who seems like a big dumb lug to actually be a complete big dumb lug but if you paid attention to some of the stories about him, he’s not a complete lug. He took proper care of his earnings, and he seemed to genuinely give good answers when asked the right questions. He’s just a fun loving doof in the end, and his infectious personality seemed like it would translate to TV and wrestling extremely well. He seemed happy! He lost weight, he was funny, the future was bright for our favorite human-shaped golden retriever. Now he’s back with his bro in Florida and Pats fans feel a little betrayed.

Now that Gronk has “pulled a Witten” and returned after one season away, what can we expect? I think good things. The Bucs are astoundingly loaded. They drafted one of the top tackle prospects in Wirfs to keep King Shit upright. They drafted a couple of runningbacks to help ease the load. They already have a up-and-coming defense and are stacked at WR. On paper, the Bucs might be the NFC team to beat, simply because now they have a QB who won’t gift wrap freebie touchdowns to the opposing defense every so often. Also Gronk! Gronk no longer has to wear a shirt at all because Florida is a humid nightmare. I hope they bend the rules and allow him to be naked on the field.

I also can’t help but feel that Brady made the right move. The Pats, looking at the relative disaster of 2019 (I SAID RELATIVE), came out of that film room and decided what they needed was defense for some reason. They spent their first three picks on a saftey, a linebacker, and another linebacker. Then they drafted two tight ends in a row. Then they picked the now famous alt-right kicker. They finally addressed the Oline with 2 picks in the 6th and one in the 7th. Any wide receivers in this notoriously deep class to help our left behind pal Edelman? No. It was a very Patriots draft, which might not work anymore without King Shit under center. We’ll have to see.

I hope everything explodes because that would be funny.