Jameis Winston Gets LASIK Surgery
When you want to make a Jameis Winston lasik joke but can’t be the 106,097,567 joke about him throwing the ball to the wrong team because he can’t see. No, that’s too easy. You gotta go with the classic rapist burn, because Jameis has possibly raped someone and for sure committed sexual assault, and we should not forget that.
Jameis saw (sort of, through blurry eyes) that Teddy Bridgewater managed to ressurect his career prospects by playing being Drew Brees and riding that pony to a new starting gig and has apparently decided to follow suit. It’s honestly not the worst move. He could have gone to one of the more QB needy teams like the Bears and went down with that ship, or take over for Big Ben when he gets hurt in week 4, but in New Orleans he has a chance to do well enough to secure himself a starting spot on a good team, in a good offense, with a good coach, after 1-2 years of partying hardy on Bourbon Street. Also, lots of quality seafood legs in New Orleans compared to Chicago. Maybe he could have gone to New England, but I can’t see Belichick tolerating him.
We’ve likely seen what Jameis just is at this point in time. He has all the physical tools to be a top 5 QB but on occasions more frequently than can be permitted his brain goes to mush during a play and he throws a ball that even Eli would find kinda yikes. Jameis is a gunslinger. A funslinger. A dumbslinger. He wants to make plays and it doesn’t matter who that play is too. I won’t lie; watching Jameis play football is pretty entertaining. He’s always quite a show, good or bad.
For that reason my instincts forsee a kind of Fitzpatrick-esque career ahead of him. He’s good enough to elevate a team when he isn’t being a bonehead, but he’s not good enough to keep them elevated and will just as frequently send that team into an oblivion darker than the makeup you wore during your dark goth phase when nobody understood you. I can see Jameis taking the Saints to a 6-1 record as a starter after Brees leaves, then taking that same team into a 8-8 finish. I see him on the Browns hydra in a few years, offering a small spark of hope quickly dashed. That’s my prediction for Jameis. He’s good enough to start anywhere, but he’s not good enough to keep the job.
When my FSU buddies were playing him up as the guy to take the Bucs to the Promised Land, I suggested his career would be more like Vinny Testaverde’s. It seems to be playing out.
But he’ll never have as many playoff wins as Tebow, which will forever frost them…muahahahaha!
EXRP SEXY REXY LIVES AND HE IS… that’s as far as I can get on the chart
Million dollar arm….10 cent head.
“…a gunslinger. A funslinger. A dumbslinger.” Good stuff.
I don’t usually go in for the “…but it’s so much fun to watch” horse hockey. I want to see a football game not a track meet got’dangit! But even my curmudgeonly defensive-coordinator-stuck-in-the-late-90s heart has to admit that Jameis Winston games are wildly entertaining.
He’s a former Bucs QB. He’ll win a ring as a starter somewhere else, just like Dilfer & Williams (and almost Testaverde).
And Steve Young
No chance he gets a ring unless he is a backup. With the weapons he had at wide receiver and still threw 30 picks. Nope old Crab Legs is a bust
You’ve also gotta remember that he still threw 30 TDs plus 5000 yards. If he lands on a team that just so happens to have an elite defense that can compensate for his bad side, then they won’t really have to worry about him throwing 2 picks a game. Emphasis on really.
so another mike vick
Not even close to Vick. Vick had a career nobody is really going to replicate and also Jameis is a much better passer than Vick ever was
A poor man’s Brett Favre or a black lovechild of Rex Grossman and Dan Fouts.
Why you gotta put him on the Hydra? We got enough pobbems as is…
For that cheap deal though? I think it’s worth taking a chance on him. It’s not like anybody ever got in trouble around NOLA anyways…..right…?
“playing being Drew Brees” or “playing behind Drew Brees”?
gee, dave… caint help but notice the “random” button takes me to tanny falling into the sun comic every time… hmmmmm
Weird. It only takes me to #288. (The one with Rodgers hanging out with his girl/boyfriend Oliver.)