When you want to make a Jameis Winston lasik joke but can’t be the 106,097,567 joke about him throwing the ball to the wrong team because he can’t see. No, that’s too easy. You gotta go with the classic rapist burn, because Jameis has possibly raped someone and for sure committed sexual assault, and we should not forget that.

Jameis saw (sort of, through blurry eyes) that Teddy Bridgewater managed to ressurect his career prospects by playing being Drew Brees and riding that pony to a new starting gig and has apparently decided to follow suit. It’s honestly not the worst move. He could have gone to one of the more QB needy teams like the Bears and went down with that ship, or take over for Big Ben when he gets hurt in week 4, but in New Orleans he has a chance to do well enough to secure himself a starting spot on a good team, in a good offense, with a good coach, after 1-2 years of partying hardy on Bourbon Street. Also, lots of quality seafood legs in New Orleans compared to Chicago. Maybe he could have gone to New England, but I can’t see Belichick tolerating him.

We’ve likely seen what Jameis just is at this point in time. He has all the physical tools to be a top 5 QB but on occasions more frequently than can be permitted his brain goes to mush during a play and he throws a ball that even Eli would find kinda yikes. Jameis is a gunslinger. A funslinger. A dumbslinger. He wants to make plays and it doesn’t matter who that play is too. I won’t lie; watching Jameis play football is pretty entertaining. He’s always quite a show, good or bad.

For that reason my instincts forsee a kind of Fitzpatrick-esque career ahead of him. He’s good enough to elevate a team when he isn’t being a bonehead, but he’s not good enough to keep them elevated and will just as frequently send that team into an oblivion darker than the makeup you wore during your dark goth phase when nobody understood you. I can see Jameis taking the Saints to a 6-1 record as a starter after Brees leaves, then taking that same team into a 8-8 finish. I see him on the Browns hydra in a few years, offering a small spark of hope quickly dashed. That’s my prediction for Jameis. He’s good enough to start anywhere, but he’s not good enough to keep the job.