Did you forget about ol’ Jim Tomsula? I bet you did. I did. I miss Jim Tomsula. He hasn’t been heard of since he got fired outside one sighting at a gym. I wonder what the heartburn farter (as they called him, somewhere) resides these days. Jim Tomsula seems like a guy who’d be a good used car salesman. Or maybe he could be the baggage retrieval cart operator at a small municipal airport. A window washer. A plumber. I think Jim Tomsula would make a good plumber. Honestly, part of me thinks he made his nugget with his one year as head coach and now he’s just retiring with his millions from Jed York so he can sit in his suburban house and grill steak all day until a clot takes him out. Doctor tells him he’s gotta keep that blood pressure down, but damn those meatball subs are too good.
But lets take a moment to appreciate that Jim Tomsula got 5 wins out of these 49ers. The same 49ers that have gone 1-11 under new head coach Chip Kelly and might very well be the worst team in the entire league. I personally think they are, even with the Browns in play, as if you take away the week 1 fluke against the Rams, I think the 49ers have a worse point differential. Is Jim Tomsula a better coach than Chip Kelly? He had pretty much the same roster to work with (A really, really terrible one). Navorro Bowman has missed most of this season, but I don’t think a single Navorro Bowman is worth 5 wins. The 49ers are such a trainwreck and it came to a head this year. I don’t think Chip is the problem (It’s York, but in more specific team terms, it’s Baalke), but he’s not helping.
I thought Chip was actually a good hire at the time. I think he might have built something interesting in Philly if the ownership didn’t lose patience with him so fast. I question his ability to sustain a fancy offense in this league and I think he’s better suited for college ball, but as far as coaches go, I thought the 49ers could have done worse, like I dunno, Gus Bradley. But it’s hard to deny that Jim’s team last year actually won a few games and Chip Kelly’s team is not winning anything. Kaep will have a good game, then he’ll have a terrible game. The loss against the Bears was one of the ugliest games I’ve seen all year. A complete disgrace and total trouncing by another team that is likely drafting top 5.
Jed York will always be the big problem that is unfixable, but GM Trent Baalke is the fixable issue. When they fired Harbaugh I remember talk about how they “didn’t need him” because the roster was so good and people pointed to Baalke as the reason why the 9ers reached the Super Bowl. Well nobody is defending Baalke now. Even removing the freak retirements, this team has turned full pumpkin really fast and they are a talentless husk of a team out there. There’s no way to justify keeping Baalke, he with the extra A name.
It won’t matter. The 9ers are screwed for a long time and in a couple decades we’ll probably call this the curse of Harbaugh.
Shoulda kept Jim Tomsula
The Mic Rula
The old schoola
you wanna vacuum
he’ll sell it to ya