Ugh. We were so damn close to not having to deal with another year of the Green Bay Packers in the playoffs. I know they aren’t technically in yet, and they are still on the outside looking in, but with Rodgers returning doesn’t it kind of feel inevitable? The same way the Patriots in the AFCCG feels inevitable? You don’t want it to happen, but it’s going to happen, and we all know it. Rodgers is gonna run the table, sneak in as a 5th seed or something, then end up in the NFCCG because of Rodgers bullshit. They probably won’t win the game because Rodgers bullshit isn’t quite as strong as Patriots bullshit, but the fact that they are there is already annoying.

If you’ve followed this site for any amount of time really it should be obvious I’m a big fan of variety. Of chaos. Of unpredictability. Not knowing who is going to make it is exciting. I like having some front runners and some perpetual losers to keep things from total chaos, but generally I would prefer to see things switch up frequently enough to keep things interesting. For me and for other fans. How awesome would it be to always feel like you could be 3-4 seasons away from suddenly being the new Seahawks? You could stomach that. My favorite divisions are the ones that really switch it up. The NFC East changes from year to year, last year the Eagles were the worst. Look at them now. Last year the Cowboys and Giants made the playoffs. Now look at it. The Skins won the division the year before that. The East switches it up and it’s more fun. The NFC South is even better about it. The Falcons, Saints, Panthers and even the Bucs have traded good years this past decade. On the opposite side, the AFCE is a snorefest of the same shit every year, and the NFC North is pretty much always the Packers and then one of the other teams occasionally sneaks in.

I was actually really looking forward to the NFC playoffs this season and I hope to god the Packers stay out, because I’m bored of the Packers. Look at what we’ve got. The Eagles are the best team in football and before Wentz went down probably the favorite. They are new and fresh and we haven’t seen this team in this form yet. The Rams? Even more of a crazy out of nowhere story. The Vikings? This defense is incredible, the QB is fun, and the Vikings have lots of neat young talent. The Panthers are always fun with Cam out there; dude is a ball to watch. The Saints new fancy defense and running game are new things from this team and it has reinvigorated interest. The Falcons remain interesting with that offense. The past few years of NFC staples are kind of on the fringe. The Seahawks are flawed and hurt and Russ (one of the most fun players in the game to watch) is playing out of his mind. The Cowboys are on the fringe, but even they are kind of fresh faced now. The Lions have an outside chance but lol, nah, we know that won’t happen. This was going to be a really fun, fresh playoff picture. Especially compared to the AFC which is like the Jaguars and Chargers plus the usual crap.

Go away for a year or two, Packers, like the Saints had the decency to do. I don’t need to see Rodgers be a hero anymore, I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the man turn hail marys into routine. Rodgers is the best QB in football and he’s a snore because of it. I loved the shit out of Favre, because even though Favre always made the Packers competitive, you never knew what the fuck Brett was gonna do. Maybe this is why I love Eli so much: he’s the same way. Is Eli gonna throw a ball directly to a linebacker or drop a total dime for a 53 yard TD out of nowhere? Who knows! He’s 100% capable of both at any point. Rodgers is just flat out amazing to the point of clockwork and that’s super boring if you aren’t a Packers fan. When you reach that level, the tension and excitement comes from the few times when things aren’t going well for them and they might actually have issues.

Since this is our designated “trash the packers” safe space comic let’s dump on the fans too, why not? We’re all angry here. All fandoms have a bad stereotype generalization about them that is just fair enough to justify itself. Eagles fans are angry. Seahawks fans are bandwagon dummies. Giants fans are New Yorkers (shudders). Browns fans are depressed. Bills fans are a bunch of drunk crazy people. Ravens fans are a bunch of EVERYONE IS AGAINST US whiners. Cowboys fans have never lived in Dallas. Steelers fans ditto, but about Pittsburgh. Jets fans are like Giants fans, but less snooty and more yelly. 49ers fans won’t shut the fuck up about the 80’s. Titans fans are just happy to be here. You get my drift. Packers fans are also the worst, in their own unique condescending way. Packers fans (who are frequently not from nor have never lived in Green Bay) are a bunch of condescending boobs who love to throw the “history! Vince lombardi! Lambeau field is a mecca! We’re a legendary franchise!” crap out all the time like the rest of us should be worshiping the team as a god. Packers fans see Rodgers coming back and don’t understand why the rest of us groaned, because “Rodgers is the best QB, that’s good for football, how can you be mad about that?”. You root for a team that spent decades in the gutter before Favre showed up and the town of Green Bay is a frozen wasteland dump that circlejerks the Pack because there’s nothing else worthwhile there. Even Buffalo is more interesting than Green Bay. You own .000008th stock of the team? Good for you, jump in a dumpster and let me push it downhill.

Now, I will only accept Green Bay hate in the comments below, because that’s the theme of the day. You can be Packers positive on the next comic. Today is for the hate. Let’s do it boys. Unload. Be as relentlessly and pointlessly mean as you wish. Hit me with every Packers hate you got. Let’s roast ’em.