Admit it, you forgot about Laremy Tunsil and you haven’t thought about him for a while until you read this.
So I’m sure this is a little out of left field, but it was just a thought I had one day. I don’t have the budget to make it a real fake commercial. Hey Bleacher Report. Let’s make this happen or something.
It’s still crazy to me how that happened last season. Poor dude had a big chance to be the big man in the draft last year and then some angry bitter former acquaintance does him dirty and releases the infamous bong video. Tunsil’s draft stock plummets, he drifts to number 12 (13? early teens) and ends up on the Dolphins. A good team for him, honestly, and a team that could use him. But since it’s the Dolphins, who are currently kind of uninteresting as an organization, (and he’s a lineman), Tunsil basically fell off the map in terms of anyone paying attention to him. On the plus side, he was sort of the subject of one of my best comics last season. Still proud of that one. It also now makes 2 out of 3 comics with Tunsil that have butts in them.
At the same time I’m also surprised this sort of thing doesn’t happen more often. Tunsil can’t be the first dude in history to have an angry friend or enemy who wants to bring embarrassment and pain. I often wonder what sort of blackmail stuff we’ve never known about, and what sort of stuff simply slipped under the radar. Maybe Joe Flacco has a sex tape (oh man imagine how boring that would be). Matt Stafford has to have tons of drunk photos on a frat hall wall somewhere. If human white bread Matt Ryan can have a photo of him trying on a bra then there has to be some amazing stuff we’ve missed. Even Eli has a drunk photo. It’s somehow less embarrassing than most normal Eli faces. (Also, note to self, photoshop a rocket pop in his hand in the future.)
Players shouldn’t have any of this effect them as much as it does. We’ve all been stupid. Holding these kids to impossible standards is hard enough. If you didn’t do a single dumb shit thing in college you basically wasted college.
Lastly, unrelated, I keep wanting to pronounce his name as Laremy Tonsil. If he becomes the stud lineman we expected of him, can we say that any player who gets stopped by Tunsil got “Tunsillitis”? You know, because tonsillitis inflames your tonsils and makes it hard to swallow and for stuff to sneak past. Like a big ol’ lineman inflaming and not letting any defenders into the throat (pocket). Dammit why didn’t I make a comic out of this instead (Files away for later use).
Dez Bryant is a weeaboo I’m out.