The Uprights Have A Hard Day At Work
It was windy in Chicago on Sunday (har har). Cody Parkey decided to probably set an NFL record and hit the uprights a whopping 4 times.
It may very well be the greatest doink performance of all time. I don’t think anyone has ever bothered to record that, but it feels like a record, doesn’t it? 4 times? One doinkasaurus is rare. I think I’ve seen a game with two doinks in it only once, and I’m pretty sure the game I saw with two doinks was actually by both kickers doing a single doink. Parkey doinked it 4 times, all by his own damn self. It’s honestly more impressive to me than going 5-5 on field goals past 50 yards. The NFL uprights are 18 feet across. That’s 18 feet of space you can use to get through. That’s hard, but it’s still 18 feet of space to work with.
An NFL goalpost, from what I can find on google, has roughly a 6 and 5/8″ diameter. An NFL goalpost is basically 7 inches wide. Two goal posts together would make an entire foot of space. so Cody Parkey managed to hit a 7 inch target 4 times. That is legitimately impressive, intentions be damned. I think that’s far more interesting then making it through a 18 foot space.
I imagine my thought process was the same as everyone else’s during the time span:
Doink 1- hahaha, doink! Doinks are the best.
Doink 2- Holy shit! He doinked it again! Hahahahaha it is so windy.
Doink 3- No fucking way. There’s no way he did it again. I can’t believe it
Doink 4- PLEASE DOINK IT AGAIN PLEASE DOINK IT AGAIN…..FUCK YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It should go in the NFL record books. This might be a Brett Favre consecutive game streak type record. It may not have helped his team, but at least the Bears still won so the stain of smacking the upright 4 times doesn’t hurt too bad. Cody should hold his head up high. If nothing else, he accomplished something on Sunday we may have never seen nor ever see again. I’m not sure a kicker could even hit an upright 4 times in one game if he was intentionally aiming to do so, and the game wasn’t as windy as this one was.
One final unrelated note: I finally changed the header image, making it official. Mon-Wed-Fri will be my schedule moving forward.
I never thought I’d see the day where I’d say NFL goalposts are adorably cute… but this comic managed to do that.
Well done, Dave.
That said, four ‘doink’s, all by himself, lol. If the Bears lost a close game Parkey’s job might’ve been at risk. It’s also funny to see that not only the Bears, but also the Lions stuck to two-point conversions after the final doink. It’s as if neither was brave enough to risk it happening again, heh.
As a Lions fan, it’s our one consistency this year by know means of our own, making opponents miss kicks in a stunning fashion. That and the consistent inconsistency.
Fuck, new rule, if you hit the upright and the ball bounces back through the uprights you get an extra point for difficulty.
On the video link, it looked like his reaction on the third doink was laughing like “Again? Really?”. After three times, what else would you do. Miss one like that and you feel bad. Miss two like that and you’re probably thinking about the odds of it happening. Miss THREE like that and you just laugh like it’s not even real. Then after the fourth, dude just looked kinda pissed like “It’s not funny anymore”.
Someone needs to make a compilation of all these doinks and put it on YouTube.
Speaking of kicking, I can’t believe Tucker finally missed an extra point. I know it’s going to happen eventually but still, it’s weird seeing this.
As someone who’s watched the Falcons Vikings game in 98 (where Gary Anderson hadn’t missed a field goal in 2 seasons or something like that and whiffed on a 30 yrder) and watched John Carney miss after the River City relay, it was still pretty shocking to watch.
Not sure I love this more than the Robby Gould elliptical kick, but its up there.
Poor Dez, Fez, Prez and Pez. At least Marketing and Social Media Vice-Prez Bryant is not out for the season.
You know it is much harder to hit the upright than actually make it. I propose a hit upright is worth 4 points. Add a tinkly to the game
As a Bears fan, I’m not even mad
I’m impressed
Another Chargers dude went down today
Yeet
Hey working conditions could be worse Johnny Goalpost… at least Michael Thomas didn’t shove a flip phone up your butt.
https://twitter.com/RedditCFB/status/923729336443834370?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E923729336443834370&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fherosports.com%2Fcollege-football%2Fsouth-alabama-field-goal-bounce-ahah
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNXPnzLe_rA
After reading the bloggy bit up there I’d really love to see doinks added as an official stat and tracked. Doinks per 100 FG attempts. Doinks per 100 PATs. Doinks from 30 or less, 30-40, 40-50 and 50+. Regular season versus postseason doink rate.
He did it again. Oh sweet Halas, to lose a playoff game, he did it again.
How glorious it is to be a Bears fan.
Well, this topic suddenly got a whole lot more relevant, as Cody Parkey single-handedly killed the Bears’ season in the wild card round… WITH A DOUBLE-DOINK.
We should now start calling Parkey Doink-man… or how about Doink the Clown? Y’know, the old WWF wrestler guy?
I smell a new gimmick character in the works for Parkey in this comic… What do you think, Dave?