The Texans New Slogan
The Texans are rebranding their culture in the midst of a regime change and the general chaotic nonsense driven by Father Easterby. Like all great corporate attempts to get that sweet environment synergy, it means sticking platitudes in big letters on the office wall.
Motivational slogan "Get Better" on a wall is sending me pic.twitter.com/SQXvUOiiJ3
— Rivers McCown (@riversmccown) June 1, 2021
There’s nothing inherently wrong with this and every team does it. Hell, practically every company from startups to conglomerates do it. It always rings kinda phoney and forced but some people respond to it. When your team is currently a dumpster fire of spectacular size, driven precisely by the very people in charge putting these platitudes on the wall, it becomes hilarious. “GET BETTER” feels like it should have a mirror installed directly across the hall from it because the people who need to see it are the ones putting it up.
Full disclosure, I’m not sure when these signs were put up. They might predate the Father. They come from a draft promotional video that frequently talks about how this is a new chapter and these sorts of rebrands tend to coincide with regime changes so they are likely fairly new. The point stands, the current state of the team makes these slogans really funny.
If the Texans are what they repeatedly do, then the Texans are losers. They are perpetual disappointers. The QB is a sex pest, seeing how he’s been very consistent and likes to repeat his crimes. The owner is a moron, and the weirdo puppetmaster in charge is also a moron. Also, “we are what we repeatedly do” feels like an extremely clunky phrase. Why not just “We are what we do”? Shorter, cleaner, ultimately means the same thing.
Anyway, these are the kind of comics you make when you are constantly hitting f5 on news sites waiting for something to happen to Julio Jones or Aaron Rodgers.
If you hang up a mirror across from the message “Get better”, it would spell “Retteb teg”, which makes about as much sense as the decisions the Texans have made the past few years.
“We are what we repeatedly do” reads to me like a (very clunky) inverse of Dennis Green’s “They are who we thought they were”. Maybe it’s in hope of the Texans getting one or two trap game wins next season?
I get the meaning. It’s that no matter what you say you are or what you strive to be, if you keep doing the same thing then that’s what you are and you’re not making progress toward your goals. It’s basically a very clunky way of saying “Talk is cheap and action speaks volumes.”
Probably still better than the Browns’ slogan their last year under Hue. “The Hardland of America”
“Hardland” sounds like it’s horrible farming country and you were all idiots for ever settling there in the first place.
For the Browns, it might be pretty accurate. That tree’s been planted for 20 years and still barely knows what bearing fruit looks like.
It wasn’t the intention at all and not what others are taking away from it, so this might just be me being weird, but I instantly thought of it being unfortunate considering the Watson case
“If the Texans are what they repeatedly do, then the Texans are losers.” That is absolute poetry! Well done, Dave!
Worst slogan ever has to be “Army of One”. Kinda counterproductive to promote individuality in an organization predicated on everyone working together!
The Onion had a similar take on it twenty years ago – https://www.theonion.com/army-of-one-campaign-attracting-troubled-loners-to-mili-1819565913
also, it replaced “BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE”
‘Be Best’ – Melania T.
‘Be You’ – Matt Nagy
‘Get Better’ – H̶a̶l̶l̶m̶a̶r̶k̶ ̶C̶a̶r̶d̶s̶ Houston Texans
one of my favorites is “good enough is not good enough”
its one of those tautologies that usually just pass on by without so much as a “yeah sure” but if you paused to consider it for two seconds your brain starts melting as you discover that it makes
absolutely
no
sense
I remember Scott Adams in one of his books saying he shortened the “Good enough is not good enough” to “Good enough is” when he used to work in the corporate world.
man its too bad scott adams is a turd of a human, his comics are gold
“We are what we repeatedly do.” Sounds like a misquoted Denny Green.
“Anyway, these are the kind of comics you make when you are constantly hitting f5 on news sites waiting for something to happen to Julio Jones or Aaron Rodgers.” Lol
Urinating Tree should have a field day with this.
“What comes easy won’t be long. What comes long won’t be easy.”
I can’t be the only one that sees a funny haha sexual connotation with that quote.
They should just put up a bunch of those kitty-holding-onto-branch “Hang in There!” posters. Or, you know, just rebrand as the Oilers. At least they’d be a team with some actual history and substance then… the only history the Texans have is getting blown out in the divisional round of the playoffs every few years and being crappy in between.
Buffalo “Playoff Caliber”
Cleveland “We Want More”
KC “Run It Back!”
Houston “Do better than you are currently doing”