The Murphy’s Law Game
There are a lot of types of football games. Blowouts. Defensive slugfests. Trap Games. Comebacks. Shutouts. Barnburners. I’d like to inject a new type of game into the lexicon. The Murphy’s Law game.
For obvious reasons, this has been on my mind this week. If you aren’t familiar with Murphy’s Law, it’s basically saying that “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, at the worst possible time”. The 40-0 drubbing of the Giants by the Cowboys on Sunday Night was an ideal example of a Murphy’s Law game. Blowouts are one thing. Shutouts are an advanced form (though not all shutouts are blowouts). What we saw on Sunday Night was a worst-case scenario for the Giants. If you’ve watched football long enough, You’ve probably seen your team suffer a game like that. A game where pretty much from the get-go things just immediately turned against your team and you knew it would get ugly.
The Giants got the ball in a horrible downpour. They effectively ran it into the Red Zone. That’s when Murphy took his crowbar to the back of the Giants knees and then kept wailing. A false start. A botched snap. A blocked field goal for a touchdown, a 7 point swing and on that play, the star left tackle and only good lineman on the team suffers a hamstring pull and the kicker gets cleated in the leg. Jones would get pulverized by Mich Parsons on the next possession, leading to a punt. Dallas would score a field goal. On the next possession, Saquon Barkley coughs up a catch and into the waiting arms of a defender, which despite not being on Jones technically goes down as his first-ever pick 6.
The Giants are built as a run-first team. Control the clock, use Barkley and Jones to get chunks, quick efficient passes. Thanks to the nightmare, they were forced very early into a must-pass game in a torrential downpour, and Daniel Jones just aint that good. Dallas had a substantial cushion and could now immediately play to their strength of rushing the passer against an injured and bad offensive line. They did, and poor Jones didn’t even have enough time to make poor decisions, although he still did, throwing a horrible pass across his body trying to make something, anything, happen. That was the offense all night after that pick-6. Just…try to do anything. Literally anything. Jones spent every play getting battered and beaten in seconds flat by the speed rush or running for his life only for the targets to drop the ball. Dallas would score another field goal and then their first offensive touchdown of the game put them up 25-o.
At the end of the half, with the only scoring opportunity they would get for the rest of the night, the injured Graham Gano would miss a chip shot field goal to ensure this sucker stayed a shutout. The second half was just Dallas taking it easy and still occasionally scoring as the Giants would stumble about, get sacked, fumble the ball, the works. The biggest play of the game for the Giants was a late-game pass to Isaiah Hodgins, who sprinted 20 yards and then fumbled it away. Even the coaching staff completely blew it, keeping Jones out on the field in the rain to get destroyed in a hopeless mess for almost the entire game.
When the blocked field goal happened, I sighed. When the pick-6 happened, I cackled. From that point on I had broken through the wall of pain and just sort of floated through the rest of the experience, dissociating from time and space.
Upon reflection though, it’s hard to get too stressed out by a game like that because sometimes games like that just happen, and they aren’t indicative of a team. The Giants could go the rest of the season winless and still never have a game go that poorly for them. A Murphy’s Law game is a fluke game, an outlier experience. The Giants might be bad this year but we’ve already likely seen the worst it will get, and while everyone deserves blame, at the same time none of them deserve too much. Shit just went wrong.
Other examples of this game that I can think of? Off the top of my head, the Titans/Patriots snow game. The Seahawks decimation of the Cardinals. The Jaguars’ famous destruction of Dan Marino in the playoffs. The Broncos/Seahawks super bowl, gone wrong from the first snap. Lesser examples might include the Patriots losing so badly to the Chiefs on Monday night in 2014 that it genuinely convinced a lot of folks the Patriots dynasty was over. The Giants losing Victor Cruz to a horrific injury in a 27-0 shutout by the Eagles. The first half of the Vikings/Colts game last year for the Vikings, and then the second half for the Colts in the rare Double Murph. Which ones come to mind when you think of your team? Which games did you watch and almost immediately knew that this was going to get ugly and you just grabbed a beer and settled in till it was over?
I was going to say 59-10 from the opening game 2019; MVP Lamar vs. Tank For Tua Fins
Another classic was the 1940 championship when the Bears won 73-0 over Washington, Montana 56, Elway 10. The 85 bears eating the Patriots.
Not to mention Marino’s last game, as much as I hate to be the one to bring it up.
SF 55, DEN 10
The only thing that went wrong for the 49ers in that game? A missed XP
I was at Wembley for the Don’t Care Dolphins getting shut out by the Saints 20-0 – and that wasn’t even our worst blank of the season, going down to the tune of double that by the Ravens.
Yeah, 40-0 is Not Fun.
SB 48, when the Broncos botched the very first snap of the game into a safety because the ball was snapped while Peyton was trying to call an audible. It was all downhill from there. Two first-half picks from Manning, including a pick-six. A failed attempt to convert a 4th-and-2, and then it was 22-0 at the half.
Commanders fan here.
The infamous Monday Night Massacre vs the Eagles at home on Primetime.
Pouring rain in the 50’s. My buddy was running a little late. He got to the section our seats were in right at kickoff. We were PUMPED! He walked to where I was, we high fived, we turned around to watch the first play of the game, and WHOOPS, DeSean Jackson was already in the endzone…..
I also was in Boston in 2007 when I got to see the Patriots beat us 52-7 (they were up 28-0 after the 1st and wet lost two starters to bad season- ending injuries in that quarter). I was wearing my Jason Campbell jersey and had an 80 year-old man call me “SOUP” all game, while I just aimlessly stared at the field and contemplated my entire life.
Honorable mention to the home game vs the Chiefs, where THIS infamous photo happened:
https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-verizon-us-rvc3&sca_esv=565596838&sxsrf=AM9HkKlt3BvkuAYKL1m2EYLYmjvrGK3Uvw:1694771952008&q=redskins+chiefs+3rd+quarter&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwit0LLBrayBAxUuhIkEHdURAdIQ0pQJegQICxAB&biw=412&bih=750&dpr=2.63#imgrc=X4gGKmGui66yoM
IT’S BEEN A WILD RIDE HERE IN WASHINGTON.
Oh, I’m in that crowd somewhere. Send help.
This would fall into your lesser category because it eventually became a competitive game by the end of it, but the first quarter of the Steelers-Brown was by far the worst football I’ve ever seen my team put out. 28-0 in one quarter. A missed snap into a defensive TD.The 40 yard “short” pass into another TD. Etc. And the worst things is that the Steelers outscored the Browns the rest of the game but when you give up 28 unanswered points in 15 minutes, that doesn’t matter.
At least the Browns went back to the basement pretty much immediately afterwards and it didn’t become the great rebalancing of the rivalry like everyone at the time said it was going to be.
It’s only one quarter but Q1 of the 2020 Wild Card round Browns@Steelers has to count as one of Murphy’s worst quarters, ever. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a sequence of football where Murphy’s Law was more applicable than that.
I feel like the Broncos “no QB” game could count for this. The one where the entire QB room was out for COVID protocol. That game was truly ugly.
2000 NFC Champ: NYG 41, MN 0
Vikings had Dante Culpepper, Randy Moss, & Cris Carter
Super Bowl XXXV: BAL 34, NYG 7
Giants only TD came off a kick return
Super Bowl XVIII: LAR 38, WSH 9
[NAME REDACTED] set record for most points scored in regular season. Only scored 9 in the Super Bowl
1985: CHI 44, DAL 0
Teacher (Landry) vs Student (Ditka)
Madden & Summerall on the call for CBS
Makings of a sequel of the game from last season… and it was a Bears massacre of Cowboys at Texas Stadium
This was several examples of the game having passed Landry by in the 1980s
1988 NFC Champ: SF 28, CHI 3
Bears title window is slammed shut. It would be 18 years before the Bears would appear in another NFC Champ game
Super Bowl XXII: WSH 42, DEN 10
Broncos led 10-0 after 1. Then Doug Williams goes off in the 2nd quarter, game over at halftime
1989 NFL Playoffs: SF’s run through MN, LA, & DEN to their 2nd straight title & 4th of the 1980s
Any of the Vikings 4 Super Bowl losses
1995: SF 38, DAL 20
49ers just lost to the expansion Panthers & Steve Young was out. Repeat of last season’s NFC Champ
1995 NFC Wild Card: PHI 58, DET 37
Game was over at half. One of many examples why Barry Sanders never won a title with the Lions
There aren’t many examples of this when it comes to the Patriots and you already mentioned the most famous one in 2014, but I’d throw out the 2009 Wild Card game against Baltimore as my first experience of a Murphy’s Law game against my team. I was only 9 at the time but I remember feeling sick after Baltimore ripped an 80 yard TD on our not very good defense on the first offensive snap of the game. I already had the channel changed to Cartoon Network by the end the of the 1st quarter.
Just an awful, awful game that I’d like to forget. That said, Secret Base (then SB Nation) made a great video breaking down this shitshow of a game (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETV9BdCQjxY). Kind of wish they’d bring back ‘The Worst’ but their Dorktown docs make up for it.
An obvious honorable mention is the 2021 Wild Card game against Buffalo, of course. That one didn’t sting as much as the ’09 loss since I knew we dead on arrival but it was still brutal to watch live. Also helps that NE had a little bit of success by then so I could just reminisce about that and laugh about the ass-kicking.
Super Bowl 48. I felt bad for Broncos fans . I had a feeling the Broncos were going to have one of those games after the opening safety. At half I was feeling tentatively confident. But I was also telling myself ‘This is Peyton Manning, you never want to sleep on him.
Then the opening kickoff of the second half happened.
Patriots-Jets, Thanksgiving 2012 …. Or, as it’s better known, “The Butt Fumble Game”. People forget that the play was just one in a string of disasters for the Jets, most of which occurred within a minute-long period.
There was a regular fumble turnover that the Pats then almost immediately turned into a 80+ yard score; the Butt Fumble TD; and then the ensuing kickoff the Jets returner fumbled the ball right into a Pats player for another TD. Including the Pats scoring normal TDs at both ends of the quarter, the Jets got out-scored by *35-3* in just 15 minutes.
Personal shouts for this as a Colts fan: 62-7 against the Saints in primetime, getting shut out at home by the Jags, getting gubbed by the Cowboys in primetime, and pretty much the entire Jeff Saturday “era”, highlighted by that aforementioned Vikings game.
NFC Wild Card Playoff (2011) Giants’ 24-2 over my Failcons. While the score was not huge, NY dominated the Falcons thoroughly.
and
The infamous Steve Gleason game in the return to the Superdome for the Saint Falcons game. After that blocked punt, I might as well have just turned the game off, and wish I had.
The Steve Gleason game is legitimately the one time I wondered if a game was rigged
The Packers inflicted a couple Murphys Law games on the Bears and then the Eagles in back to back weeks, scoring a 50-burger in each. The Packers scored a TD, then Cutler threw a pick just outside the red zone and Packers scored a TD a short time later. After another Bears punt, Packers got a 73 yard TD to Jordy Nelson. The Bears went 3 and out again and the Packers scored another quick 40yd TD pass. The Bears turned the ball over on downs next and Packers scored a TD again off of a 56 yard screen pass. The Bears turned it over on downs again and then both teams fumbled, with a sixth TD *pass of the half* thrown by Rodgers and halftime the score was 42-0. After a pair of FGs and a pick-six, the Packers finished the game 55-14.
The Eagles game had the Packers scoring a Defensive and STs TD off of a pick-six and a punt return. The Packers also blocked a punt in which a ST player kicked the ball *before* the punter. The score was 53-20 and the Packers left points on the field, with a blocked PAT and a missed FG and a failed 2 point conversion.
The Packers then had a Murphy’s 5 minutes in the NFCCG in 2014…
“Eli wept.”
January 2003, first round playoff game, Colts @ Jets. Jets get a 50+ yard pass TD from Chad Pennington within a few plays. Manning responds by bringing the Colts down the field and Vanderjagt misses a FG. Jets drive down for a field goal. Colts muff the kickoff immediately afterward aaaaand we’re done here. Jets 41, Colts 0(!!!)
https://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/200301040nyj.htm
Last quarter and 1/3 of my Falcons loss to the Patriots in the Super Bowl
2001 NFC Championship game, Giants blow out the Vikings 41-0. My very first game as a Vikings fan. That vaunted offense that I’d had so much fun with in NFL 2K1 was useless against the Giants’ D and on the other side, they were torched by KERRY FRICKIN COLLINS! 22 years later and I’m still questioning why I stayed a Vikings fan.
I would like to thank the Giants for “41-Donut”, as it spared the reckoning the Vikings would have suffered in the “All Purple Super Bowl”.