The Media Is Thirsty
Jan29
on January 29, 2020
at 12:01 am
I don’t even have a blog post to put here today. I just want ya’ll to admire this man. I mean, is this even fair?
Fuck
Why couldn’t I get any of those Italian genes, goddamnit. At least I’m technically 1 inch taller than he is. Eat that, Garoppolo.
I take it back, I’m sorry, you’re so beautiful, I hate my life
Stupid sexy Garoppolo ?
Feels like he’s wearin’… nuthin’ at all! Nuthin’ at all! NUTHIN’ AT ALL!!!!!!
Dave if you don’t make a comic about Kobe, you don’t love Jesus…
He’ll probably make a Kobe thing after the Super Bowl.
I don’t plan on doing a Kobe thing anytime soon, maybe make a snappy joke down the line when people have kinda moved on. I honestly don’t have much an opinion on him either way, I didn’t follow basketball or Kobe until his twilight seasons and I only really knew him as a sort of NBA Roethlisberger because of the rape accusation, so my opinion of him wasn’t particularly high. His legacy seems complicated to me and I don’t think I know enough about him to make a post either way. I’ll leave that to the rest of the media.
THANK YOU.
We do not need more Kobe tributes. His legacy is complicated at BEST. Plus, I don’t think there is an angle you can take that won’t get you a fistful of death threats. Make it funny? “TOO SOON!” Mention his choke-raping a 19 year old? TWITTER MOB WILL GET YOU. Make it emotional? People will be annoyed that you made them cry again when the grief is still too near.
Honestly, we should just cancel the Super Bowl in his honor and declare Saint Kobe Bryant the winner. We should change the Lombardi trophy to the Kobe Beef Trophy, and it can be sponsored by a farm.
Bruh. There aren’t enough Kobe tributes out there for you to wank off to that you need to try and force one out of a football comic?
Assuming you are misreplying to the wrong comment. I was not a fan of Kobe in life, and I’m 100% opposed to the deified coverage he is getting in death. I am against the NFL even *mentioning* his name during the Super Bowl.
very original joke
It’s the Abruzzo genes. Jimmy’s family is from Abruzzo. My family is from Abruzzo and I can attest that there is something in the Abruzzese genes that makes their people beautiful.
Only if you define beauty by chesthair…
I don’t see any chest hair on Jimmy Abruzzese do you?
Yes. It’s not a huge bush, but he’s got some hair on there. You can see it if you stare at the picture.
Which I did.
For like fifteen seconds.
Before scrolling down to the comments, and then scrolling up to look at the picture again for thirty seconds to clarify that he does have chest hair.
If JimmyG doesnt manscape I got a bridge to sell ya….
Although now that I think about it he probably doesnt for real, with his kind of money I would have goten laser removal ages ago cause shaving all the time sucks
Is this a subtle way of bragging that you are good looking
It was subtle?
My family is from Abruzzo, too. But when I walk down the street women shriek and run away in terror. It could be the fact that I usually have a half-eaten rat carcass dangling between my lips, but I think it’s the… jeans.
I don’t know if you missed it or not. But Kittle wore a shirt with that exact picture of Jimmy G during his press conference after the NFCCG
That moment was honestly the inspiration for this comic
Bless that man, and bless National Tight End Day.
The best thing was when the 49ers tight end George Kittle appeared at the media scrum after the packers game wearing a T-shirt with a picture Jimmy-G in his underarmour!
Man I love this 49ers team, they are so much fun to watch on and off the field. Kittle seems like such a fun guy to be around. Hell even Sherman seems more relaxed and chilled than when he was on the Seahawks.
He´s even gorgeous as a woman.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ea40TIdX0AYVPia?format=jpg&name=small