Superstitious Chiefs Fans Make The Ultimate Sacrifice
Super Bowl week fellas! Get crunk! It should be a a good one. If you are a reader of any length here you probably already know who I’m gonna root for. I’m all Chiefs, baby. Even though I know like 3 total Chiefs fans and watch football with a bunch of 49ers fans I am still rooting for Chiefs because I will always root for the team with less recent success. The Chiefs haven’t won a super bowl since #4. It’s far enough back in time that most people currently alive have no memory of it. Out of every team to win a bowl, only Jets fans have waited longer for a repeat. Go Chiefs.
I’m gonna be honest though, I don’t think the Chiefs are going to win. I’m actually legitimately confused by how many people think they will simply because of Mahomes and offense. I know Mahomes rules and makes football super fun to watch but…that has been like, red flag #1 in every past Super Bowl prediction for a decade. The flashy fun offense wows everyone that they ignore there is more to the game. The Rams were supposed to be amazing on offense. Defense won the game. The Falcons were amazing on offense. You could argue defense eventually won that game. The Panthers were supposed to stunt on the Broncos. Defense won that game. The Broncos were supposed to stunt on the Seahawks. Defense won that game. Even the Eagles/Pats shootout that didn’t feature much defense was still effectively won by a strip sack. Don’t get caught in the flash of offense, because offense doesn’t win this game. If we get a big shootout, defense is going to win this game. Probably. Nobody would call me great at predicting tbh.
I just think this is a bad matchup for the Chiefs. Mahomes is going to be running for his life from that D-line and sure, it’ll be cool and fun when it works, but constant pressure takes a toll. The 49ers, who are also a massively talented and explosive offense that is based more around scheme than hero ball from the QB, is built to run the clock and keep Mahomes off the field while scoring every drive. I don’t think the Chiefs have the defense to match up with Shanahan’s scheming unless he goes full Falcons again and gets pass happy with Jimmy G. The 49ers are going to control this game, and it’ll be a matter on how creative and heroic Mahomes gets. Live by the Mahomes, die by the Mahomes. At least Mahomes is a fucking great weapon to have.
So yeah, I’m rooting for the Chiefs, predicting the 49ers. I want to see Mahomes get a ring. I reaaallly want to see Andy Reid finally get that ring. I want the game to end on a last second TD pass that only happened because Dee Ford lined up offsides on the last play. I want to see more points than last year’s fun smothering. I don’t want to see what ends up happening with Mr Peanut and I hope he stays dead. Fuck Mr Peanut.
RIP Kobe
I sorta feel like the chiefs will win this game because they’re a better built team as a whole. Their offense is simply something else and the defense can most definitely hold their own. This Niners defense, on the other hand, is a straight up brick wall if brick walls were made out of very fast and powerful 250+ pound men but the offense is not Kansas City tier. They’re good and can win games but will most certainly have to rely on the defense to hold their own which is the big challenge. Because of this, I’m doing the opposite of you which is rooting Niners but betting chiefs.
But don’t take my word for it. To be fair i was the guy crying Pats over Eagles 2 years back
Everyone points out how good the KC offense is (and rightfully so), but it’s worth noting that the 49ers scored more points this year (479 vs 451).
yes, but the Chiefs allowed fewer points than the niners. sometimes impressions and stats don’t line up
The Chiefs played in the AFC West–check out the scoring of those teams vs those in the NFC West.
The idea that Chiefs are a better all around team is pretty dubious. If both Garoppolo and Mahomes went down to injury, would you still expect the Chiefs to take it?
What Mahomes brings to the table is unreal, but even Matt Moore proved to be a serviceable quarterback earlier this season. He’s not nearly as good but he proved they don’t need Mahomes to have some sort of success. As for the Niners, we haven’t seen them without Jimmy G this season so it’d be sorta unfair to judge now, but I’d still probably take the chiefs if Matt Moore could show up big time. If not, then it’s probably a Niners win
They only scored more because they had a lot more drives. 2.7 points per drive for the Chiefs vs 2.47 for the 9ers. Bear in mind, that’s also with Mahomes being hurt most of the year.
The Bears posted on Twitter “Rip Mr. Peanut” as if we don’t have a legend named Peanut Tillman in our rich history. Like does anyone really care about the Planters guy? It’s just a monopoly guy who some people are allergic to. It’s not like it’s the Red M&M are the Gecko. I didn’t even know he had commercials
offense wins games defense wins championships or whatever
Do a RIP Kobe comic
I would be good with this. Since Kobe was a transcendent talent who people knew beyond just basketball. Not an NBA fan but still just heartbroken for his family and the other families who lost loved ones in the crash.
I probably won’t, if mostly due to the timing. Gotta make my usual Puppy Bowl comic for Wed and probably my full prediction post for Friday
ketchup on steak is a heinous, evil act
Depends on the steak. If it’s a $9 “steak” from Waffle House, I’ll allow it, just please keep that stuff away from mine.
thats a fair point, ketchup on a $9 waho steak is more a mercy
then again as you alluded its steak-ness is debatable at best so my op may stand irrespective
Maybe after the Super Bowl?
My idea is maybe Football heaven getting jealous of the basketball heaven…. (like Fort Elite Money vs NBA player salary)
You already technically did. Since Kobe was named after Kobe beef, you essentially showing the Chiefs desecrating Kobe’s name. You pretty much doomed their chances.
Don’t do a comic on Kobe. There is nothing funny about it to be said. If you do anything just a Kobe portrait. That said if whoever wins if a player brings up Mamba Mentality then it is on and you have too
i’m predicting a final score of 10-0 niners, all safeties, all in the final five drives. the 9ers punter wins the MVP, as he both kicks to the 1 yard line five times in a row, and actually makes three of the tackles-for-safety.
also, this strip makes me nauseous in a way you rarely achieve. you bastard.
You didn’t get nauseous when I had Andy Reid eat Mike Vrabel’s chopped off dick?
dammit hit reply to wrong dpd reply fml
vrabel’s dick getting et – that’s just absurdity.
i’ve worked in fine dining and witnessed people putting ketchup on a well-done dry-aged bone-in ribeye*, so the pain is relived.
*also ordering macallan 25-and-diet-coke, with cherries. like, fine, whixie and diet coke, allright, but for fuck’s sake, go with the well whixie.
I would love to have a “Walrus Reid Wins A Ring!” comic (maybe with a sad Rivers shedding a tear in the crowd)
The Chiefs feel like the Warriors from a few years ago. The only way to beat them is to either keep them from hanging around long enough to go on a killer run, or to constantly disrupt them to prevent it from happening. The 49ers have enough defense, but not enough offense, to do the former, and they don’t have enough defense to do the latter.
I’m predicting an early lead for the 49ers with a comeback win for the Chiefs, starting midway through the second quarter.
see comments above. SF scored more points this year, but they also allowed more points this year. perceptions of “top offense vs top defense” are skewed, and this really is a match between 2 well-rounded teams
The 49ers have an offense capable of putting up points on the right defense. The Chiefs have an offense capable of putting up points against (almost) any defense. Big difference. Also, that point differential has to have an asterisk. Mahomes missed time and played hurt some. Not much time I know. But the Chiefs with Mahomes needed essentially a quarter to hang 28 on the Texans (a playoff team with a decent defense). I agree with your assessment of these teams being more well rounded than anything else. What everyone wants to see though is the strength vs strength matchup of the Chiefs offense VS the Niners defense. I think it’s actually going to be the other way around that decides this game, that being who wins the battle between the Niners offense VS the Chiefs defense.
Niners fan here. I really think this game could go either way. The Niners could crush the Chiefs like they did the Packers and Vikings. Or the Chiefs could score points so fast that the Niners are incapable of coming back. Or it could be a really close game that comes down to the final possession.
What I love about this matchup is that the Niners are built pretty well to maintain leads, with their strong defense and running game. But the Chiefs are also built to come back from deficits and steal momentum. I could see the Niners taking a lead and the Chiefs coming back to tighten the game up, then it comes down to the last possession.
I’ll add that I think if the Chiefs ever take a 3 possession lead, then the Niners are doomed. I don’t worry so much that the Niners can’t score points with Jimmy, but that the Chiefs can easily match those points and maintain the lead.
I kinda wanna see the 49ers go up by a large margin, then never run the ball and choke the game away. It won’t be much, but at least I’ll know exactly how to comfort 49ers fans…
This should be a fun Super Bowl. I honestly can’t make a prediction one way or the other.
*How do you stop an offense that has a smart, mobile, cannon armed stud throwing to the fastest collection of skill players in the league all being overseen by passing game savant Andy Reid?
*With a defensive line that can rotate FIVE first round picks and has guys that can hold up in coverage at the next two levels
*Don’t sleep on the Chief’s defense. They were excellent at getting after the quarterback last year, and have improved in other areas this year.
*Similarly Kyle Shannahan has crafted a very creative offense for San Francisco. It is not a Chief’s level offense, but it can put stress on a defense in a variety of different ways. The 49ers offense both beats teams up, and forces them to sprint all over the field; wearing them out for the 4th quarter.
For me it all comes down to number 44: Kyle Juszczyk. The 49ers have the greatest fullback of the modern era and I’m only half joking when I say this is an advantage that can not be overstated. The wisdom of ages always defeats the energy of youth. We haven’t seen a team utilize a fullback outside of goal line packages the way the 49ers do in a long time. We’re about to see why you don’t neglect the fullback position.
Though, personally, I will be rooting for the Chiefs because Andy deserves a ring.
See, I only partly agree with you on that fullback statement. I think Juice is the x-factor for the 9ers, but to say they’re using him like no team has recently? The Raiders were the fullbackiest of fullback teams this year, and they only got so far.
(FYI I’m all for bringing the FB back)
I… I call it catsup.
I’m rooting for the $(ers for the most moronic of reasons. T hate Mahomes’s stupid hair. That’s it. Nothing else. I do not want that stupid hair to win the big one.
Okay. A thought occurs. Say the Chiefs win.
Super Bowl LV rolls around. And it’s Dallas vs the Jets. (I know, only ever hypothetical.)
Divisional rival with five titles, albeit a while back now, or a city rival with no significant joy for half a century? Which would it be…?
To answer that, the fans lose.
I mean as a Giants fan, obviously you’d have to root against the Cowboys. Divisional rivalries are more deep seated and serious than a local cross-conference sibling rivalry. We went through something similar two years ago where for the most part we mainly ended up rooting for a regional (though I’m Upstate now so there’s probably slightly more local Pats fans than Jets fans by me) cross-conference rival (with the added incentive that the Eagles win ruined the distinction of the Giants being the only team to beat the Pats).
Personally I’ve never had any issue with the Jets. In a weird way I envy their tendency to be entertaining even when they’re shitty. Had I been born 10-15 years later or earlier than I was I suspect I’d have become a Jets fan in fact. The only downside to a Jets Super Bowl win is that they’re fans might become insufferable like what happened to Red Sox and Pats fans in the last two decades.
I think I’ve said this before, but I harbor no ill-will towards the Jets whatsoever and have never felt that cross-town rivalry because I don’t live in NYC, so if this scenario occurred I would be 100% on the Jets train
I’d probably root for the luckless Jets over most NFC teams if they met in a bowl tbh
Honestly even if you lived closer to New York you wouldn’t feel any cross-town rivalry. Giants fans for the most part ignore the Jets and/or wish them well to an extent. And most Jets fans are pretty well disposed to the Giants doing OK. We’re all too busy complaining about our own teams’ to worry about the other.
The current stadium being named for an insurance company probably ameliorated the biggest chip on the shoulder the Jets fans had about having to play in Giants Stadium for ages.
The Niners will win, just cuz I’m pulling for the Chiefs and football never brings me joy.
I hope the 49ers lose strictly based on the insufferability of their fan base. What NFL fans DON’T need is the ‘Patriots-West’ starring Jimmie G and his soy-latte smile. I wonder what the over-under is on the # of times they cut to the 49ers defensive coach Robert Saleh. It’s almost like the niners head coach doesn’t exist – all they ever do is show Mr. Clean. I’m predicting Saleh’s shaven head 48, Andy Reid’s mustache 47……Its hard to get excited about the game after the Kobe news – I live in SoCal and everyone in town is gut-shot.