The End Of The Money Line
I had basically given up on this running gag because it got more and more difficult to do and I had to keep track of more and more players and once you shoot god James Harden in the face with a money laser shot from a large spaceship shaped like a ketchup bottle…where do you really go? Joe Flacco is barely in the league at this point and his contract was the entire reason it started. Most of the players involved are on new teams.
But after the Rodgers contract I thought about bringing it back. He’s a big crypto boy now and there are jokes there. Then Watson got more money guaranteed than anyone else in history, and the contract was so absurd it likely won’t get genuinely challenged for a while. So now the king of the elite money is a creep. Thats…no fun. Might be time to reboot this entire idea and go back to players building silly things out of money in their backyards.
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to Russell Wilson wearing a Broncos jersey.
Anyway, someone had an idea way back for a complete reboot. Everything blows up in an apocalyptic BOOM so we start again way from the beginning, e.g. cavemen/QBs discovering green sticks and using them to bonk the other poor cavemen. Then we just gradually climb up the technology evolution ladder from there.
I propose building up from that but going even further back. Like, waaaayyy back. The creation of life. Microbes and stuff. Amoeba Russell Wilson gets zapped by Amoeba Kyler Murray, etc. And everyone evolves a little bit with each issue until gradually seguing into the aforementioned cavemen and tech evolution stuff.
With the grand finale comic having our fully evolved football players finally, actually playing football in a modern NFL stadium, with the punchline being that the players saying ‘it’s weird, I think all of creation was meant for this very moment’ or something. Dunno, you could probably make up a way better punchline than I can think of, Dave.
“Then Watson got more money guaranteed than anyone else in history, and the contract was so absurd it likely won’t get genuinely challenged for a while. So now the king of the elite money is a creep. Thats…no fun.”
Roethlisberger was pretty solidly ignored completely by all the Fort Money alumni even when his big contract fully qualified him for making an appearance in the series.
Watson’s like ten times worse than Ben(judging from the number of alleged cases), if Team Elite Moneys can declare Ben persona non grata, I don’t see why they can’t do the same with Watson, honestly.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to Russell Wilson wearing a Broncos jersey.”
I thought the same about Peyton
Bengals fans: “Just wait until Joe Burrow gets his rookie contract replaced. The salary he’ll command will completely dwarf these pretenders to the throne. bwhahahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHHAA! …oh, shit.”
The Browns can’t afford the stupid contract the Browns gave Watson
Yeah that Browns contract is excessively stupid. No way Watson the football player deserves that, much less considering the PR nightmare.
Hes still a PoS and dont get me wrong buuuut counterpoint: the Texans since he isnt playing for them anymore.
With him under center they were a double digit wins team each season despite BoBs “coaching” And if you got a WAR score of +5 your gona get big big money in the NFL. So from a purely football perspective he does kinda deserve this contract QBs that have shown what he has in the past never hit the market while also still being as young as he is.
Or as a certain GM once said: “If Hannibal Lecter ran a 4.2 wed diagnose him with a mild eating disorder”
BoB is a good coach, just a bad GM. He made the playoffs with Brock Lobster and Tom Savage and actually managed a playoff win with them, the same result Watson’s got. And a WAR of +5? Where’s the evidence of that, the fact that the Texans only managed two more wins than the Adam Gase and Sam Darnold Jets? Any argument for Watson has to only focus on “the eye test” and ignore the tangible results.
Also, since y’all didn’t get my little joke, I was saying that the Brown family that owns the Bengals can’t afford to put 230 million in escrow
Flanderization is a bitch.
+1
The eyeliner for Carr… lol.
This does feel weird. WR’s are now getting the kind of money the QB’s were being paid when you did the first Money Fort comic, and the QB’s are on money most of them kinda deserve based on the current market.
We need more ridiculous contracts being thrown at Defensive Players so they can launch an all out invasion , or a bunch of Wide Receiver’s pooling their cash to launch a Nuke at the moon.
I think you got it right there!
WRs launch a money nuke at the moon, moon base gone, elite money series rebooted.
Maybe the money underlings can revolt against Watson and Rodgers? Would be a real shame to see this storyline end, it’s one of the things that I truly felt was most creative about this comic. Maybe if it was replaced with a different long storyline I’d be okay, but it wouldn’t feel organic probably.
Honestly, would be hilarious if they joined Tannemillions in the money rebellion after all that happened
So if Deshaun has too much money to ignore, why not make him the villain? Perhaps he decides to use his excessive well to rule Fort Elite Moneys himself and Russ and Co. have to band together to battle him. Boom, more money comics, and we get to continuously demonize Deshaun.
Yeah, I really love this idea.
I’ll bring the ketchup. Sorry about your hot dogs.
Damn, can’t believe he made another Money Gods comic.
I can’t wait to see where the story goes from here.
I guess the one good thing about knowing these guys are making stupid money is that they earned it themselves. They weren’t manipulating systems or going ham in wall street or underpaying laborers. Just be really really good at their profession.
for me the gag jumped the shark somewhere around money starship enterprise
rogers as a cryptofascist is simultaneously disappointing and entirely on brand
This is like the Fast and Furious curse. I thought they would have to reboot after having to outrun a nuclear submarine. Silly me, I did not see Fiero in space coming.
So I am now bracing for an alien invasion/Kayju/talking dinosaurs extravaganza.
I said I didn’t want to talk about it! Fine. Man fuck the browns for this. They’re stupid and should feel stupid. That’s IT! I’m being a Lions fan. Bring me your muthafuckin kneecaps!
I thought part of the Flacco fun was that it was huge and he was mediocre. The guys in this comic are probably worth it (Carr has been good for a couple seasons now, though I’m ever skeptical). The fact that players like Goff, Wentz, and Kirk Cousins make $30m a year to consistently miss the playoffs is where I’d focus. They have time to play in moon bases since they clearly aren’t going to the Super Bowl.
I’m picturing Deshaun in a Browns-logo’ed Money Blimp bursting into flames…
(yeah, I know the Hindenburg was actually a zeppelin, but I like the sound of “Money Blimp”. Money Blimp Money Blimp Money Blimp)
At this point it is unfun