The Curse of the Monkey’s Paw
Here’s the reference for anyone who doesn’t get it
I can’t take full credit for this one, this was a fantastic joke made by a fellow on the SA football forums and it was too good to not draw. I also made him the shopkeeper.
It was all quiet on the Santa Clara front for a little while and we all got complacent. Then it happened, again. The 49ers offseason managed to get even worse! Anthony Davis, the O-lineman, retired to heal his body and mind. Not permanently, he says he plans to come back and the 49ers will still have his rights as a player, but he’s basically taking a long sabbatical. Then they trade Andy Lee to the Browns for a 7th rounder. This was mildly expected, since they drafted a punter in the 5th and he’ll be cheaper than Lee, but that’s still another blow to the roster that so many 49ers fans have come to love over the past several years. At this point the only ones left are Bowman, Smith, VD and Kaep. The worst offseason I have ever seen in professional sports continues, and every time I think it’s done it gets worse, so now I just dread what could possibly happen next.
Watch the 49ers somehow win the super bowl next year. Although at this point, Oakland and Jacksonville are more likely to both go 14-2 and meet up in the AFC championship. If the niners keep all of the current players on the roster, I’m guessing that they’ll be 4-12
As usual, you’ve made the horrible transition from NFC favorite to NFC dumpster fire that much easier to take. Also whiskey helps. Thanks, Dave!
with your players left, what about Boldin? i know he’s old but he’s still quality
Maybe Dave is guessing that he’ll retire before the season starts? IDK.
That’s the beauty of Carl standing in front of the blackboard – you can fill in any number of names behind him!
Three misfortunes, that’s possible. SEVEN misfortunes, there’s an outside chance, but NINE misfortunes– I’d like to see that.
Don’t worry ma’am, I’ll save your baby
The Fart Jar and Frog Out pillow, truly this store is truly filled with Eldritch artifacts
Love the perfect Tomsula-Carl reprisentation. He really is the spitting image of Carl. I think someone commented that at the coaches group photo he looked like an over stressed auto repair shop manager, and it was dead on…
Cause we are the Aqua Teens, make the homies say ho and the girlies wanna scream!
The “Tebow Vibrator”…. wow!
If this curse of the horrible offseason starts when Kaep makes his wish, why is niner fan already hanging himself in panel one?
Harbaugh could have left for Ann Arbor by then, since the curse only affected players
Couldn’t find a link to The Simpsons telling of the monkey’s paw?
Does that mug say “worlds best pedophile” on it? Is that some in joke I don’t get.
Sandusky?
Why are Jonathon Martin and Brandon Lloyd listed? JMart was cut and Lloyd is still a free agent whom they could bring back if they really felt they needed his services. They’re clearly not losses from the 49ers’ point of view.
Now I want a cheesehead buddah.
and its Borland not Boreland
he gets two more wishes. Winning a Superbowl and York selling the team come to mind.
York sells the team. The new owner doesn’t want Kaepernick on the team so he gets shipped to some other team where he ends up winning a Lombardi as a bench-warmer.
I got an idea for one of his wishes: becoming the best player in the NFL: after a high profile qb like Manning or Brees gets suspended for 2 years for going 26 MPH on a 25 MPH road, the NFLPA says fuck u to Goodell and the players reform the USFL
I hear Eric Reid may retire as well. I don’t think I have even seen a team fall apart like this in a while…
The Clarificator didn’t comment on this one and no new TDP on Saturday. Coincidence? I think not.
You’ll never find him
I’ve already found Waldo, I can find this joker.
That is an extremely small bart!
I can’t help but hear Tomsula in Carl’s voice now.
rip dave
Best hovertext joke ever!