So many years in, I still do not understand Mark Davis’ haircut. It’s so ugly. It has never looked good. Does he even understand that he can just…get a different cut? According to this brief New York Post piece (Im sorry, I know), Davis is lazy about his hair. He just blow dries it and it come out that way. Now, I get being lazy. I can appreciate the lack of effort there. I am not a stylish person. I was not raised by stylish people. My parents were both nerds who did not put much effort into their appearances. I’m not actually sure if I’ve ever seen my mom wear makeup, and since I was a kid she has basically kept her own version of the Mark Davis haircut (albeit one that actually suits her head), and she just walks around with bedhead every day unless she has to actually leave the house. My dad lost most of his hair to male pattern baldness so he didn’t even get a chance to be lazy about the cut. I inherited their indifference toward fashion. I dress primarily to be comfortable or utilitarian. If I could wear breathable athleticwear and hoodies at all times and get away with it I would. My wife does not like this about me.

I got off track there but my point was I don’t put much effort into my hair either. Even now, as I’ve worn my hair longer since I let it grow out during Covid. I wash it using basic shampoos, I towel it off, I brush it backwards and I let it airdry over the course of the day. As long as I give it a cursory second combing after it’s about half-dry, it comes out looking just fine. Sometimes it even looks great! I could probably learn how to get it to dry well consistently if I wanted to, but that would require me to give a shit. So I understand Mark Davis not giving the slightest of shits about putting effort into styling his hair.

But like, he could still get a haircut that doesn’t look like that. He could grow it out more or ask his barber to trim it differently so that when he dries his hair it doesn’t make him look like a testicle with bangs that start 2 inches higher up than they should. He could probably shave the hair off and look better too, and it would require even less effort out of him! The man is a billionare. He owns a football team. He could pay whatever he wants to just let a barber do a better job and give him a better cut that would let him look better with the same amount of effort on his part. Yet he doesn’t. It baffles me. He just chooses to continue to look like that. I kind of admire it. Godspeed, you weirdo.