Tom Brady, fresh off his horrible investment in FTX, has decided to move into a more steadily lucrative and less fad-based form of capital investment. He is now (or will be soon) a minority owner of the Las Vegas Raiders. Why the Raiders? I dunno. Nobody really seems to know exactly what Tom is up to these days, there have been a lot of rumors he isn’t actually going to join the FOX booth as originally contracted to do so last offseason.

I figured maybe Davis brought Tawwmy on board because the Raiders are one of the lowest valued teams and Davis one of the poorest owners, but that’s not exactly true anymore. The Raiders have gained in value significantly since moving to Vegas. The Bengals are currently the lowest. This is actually the second ownership stake Brady has bought into with Mark Davis, the other one being the WNBA Las Vegas Aces. He must have a good relationship with Davis. It’s pretty ironic considering his history with the Raiders franchise.

We can really only speculate on whatever Brady’s endgame is. Maybe he wants to be a full-fledged owner. Maybe he’s just moving to Vegas in the most middle-aged divorced dad with too much money move possible. Maybe he and Josh McDaniels are simply meant for each other. Maybe he wants to personally fuck over Jimmy Garoppolo. I will probably have to make a further comic about that whole Jimmy mess and the state of the Raiders later this week because that’s a pretty exciting pile of trash developing right before our eyes.

Last aside I guess, but a lot of people like to jokingly say that if the Tuck Rule was called correctly it spares the world the Patriots dynasty, but I don’t agree with that. Brady might only have 6 rings instead of 7 in that case, but I don’t think it slows the Brady ascension. Drew Bledsoe getting hurt is the real moment we’d have to use our time travel to prevent. If Bledsoe stays healthy, Brady probably doesn’t get a chance to play for one of the most stacked defensive squads of the 2000’s. If he never gets his chance, he might still end up on another team, but that next team will likely not be as good as those Patriots squads were, and he might not be able to Tom Brady his way out of that.

I also think Brady is well aware that the Tuck Rule was a fumble, but as much as I hate to say it, that wasn’t on him. It was on the refs and the incredibly stupid rule. He just dropped the ball and has more or less had to keep the public gaslighting going his whole career after it ended in his favor.