The Falcons, man.

If there are two teams that epitomize choking, you’d have a hard time picking any of the other franchises over these two. Especially in recent years. The Lions have been well known as historical failures but since getting an actual talent at QB they’ve instead graduated to a more classic choking instead. They give you hope, then tear it down. The Lions set a record earlier this year for games lost after holding a double digit lead…in a row. That record is six games. Six games in a row, the Lions had a double digit lead, only to lose it. Many of those were spectacular losses, too. The Bears game to open the season being the highlight. If you need a team to fuck it up in the end, you can’t go wrong picking the Lions. No lead is safe.

Unless of course that lead is held by the Falcons. The only team that could really challenge the choking crown and boy howdy can they choke. Because of them the Cowboys have a win they most definitely do not deserve. They also gave the Bears an undeserved win. The Bears have been unprecedented beneficiaries of absolute chokers this season. But of course, this is the Falcons, and we cannot talk about choking without bringing up the greatest chokejob in the history of professional sports. I don’t even have to say it, you know what it is.

Naturally, when you put two similar disasters together, you get a good game. The Lions/Falcons game sure was good. Both teams were coming off wins, the Falcons beat down the floundering Vikings and the Lions smothered the hapless Jaguars. The Lions needed the win more, which usually means loss, but hey, those Falcons! It is exceptionally rare to see the opposing team celebrate a touchdown being scored against them but that’s just what happened. The Lions let Gurley through and Gurley didn’t fast enough to stop himself from scoring and leaving too much time on the clock. Unlike Ahmad Bradshaw in the super bowl, the Falcons were not redeemed. Stafford led a perfect 64 second drive into the endzone for the ages. Falcons lose. Atlanta would have been better off if it stayed burned after Sherman rolled through.

But in reality, the Lions may have lost more. The Falcons are already past the chaos point. They fired the coach and GM and are now just wasting time till the new season. The Lions? They have managed to keep Matt Patricia around yet another week instead of doing the same. Both of these teams are losers in the end, as the natural order has decided.