But seriously folks are we really sure Jared Goff isn’t actually just Ryan Gosling doing some method acting thing? Have we ever seen them together? Goff even came from Cal and plays in LA. Maybe he has NFL connections, like Omar Epps, currently still somehow coaching Pittsburgh.

I’ve mostly left the Rams and Jared Goff alone this year. I deal in memes and hilarity, and the Rams have largely been the antitheses of that most of this season. Bad teams are more interesting. But now, with the Rams falling in two games in ugly fashion, maybe now I can finally talk about the Rams!

I don’t trust the Rams. All of the NFC contenders have looked mortal recently but even before that, I didn’t trust the Rams. I never trust teams like this, because teams like this scream “Divisional round upset”. They are too perfect, and things always crumble at the wrong time. I think the NFCCG is Bears/Saints/not the rams and if that happens you can quote me on it. If it doesn’t happen…uh…I was never here *SMOKEBOMB*

The main reason I don’t trust teams like this is because of how efficient and pristine they seem to be. Sean McVay has absolutely proven himself a capable innovative mind but he’s a victim of THE ALMIGHTY SYSTEM. When THE SYSTEM is clicking, the team always looks unstoppable. This happens with a lot of offensive steamroller type teams. They go in well-prepared to execute the gameplan and then they just roll over people. But after most of the season has gone by, a few key injuries have occurred, and teams have gotten more film. That’s when someone figures out how to punch the juggernaut back, and the well oiled machine, which has thus far managed to get everyone to play their game, suddenly gets stuck playing someone else’s game. This is what happened to the Rams when they played the Saints and Bears, and then the Eagles. Those teams were talented enough to halt the mighty Rams and force them to find other ways to win. The Rams didn’t. They seemed completely lost when they couldn’t get their gameplan going like normal.

I love teams that find different ways to win. Teams like that are the teams you need to watch out for. The Saints used to just rely on Brees, but now they have Kamara and defense and they can win if one of those phases is having a tough day. The Eagles of last season, they lost their MVP candidate QB and figured out how to still make it work with Foles. The Bears have had an up-and-down year from Trubisky and they still win games. The 2007 New York Giants, a team with a killer D line and seemingly average everything else, found ways to win. To control games. To stay in games. Controlling the games is key. This might sound super old-fashioned EYE TEST gritty to a lot of you nerds, but I trust teams that face more adversity. I like teams that lose early and come together. I severely distrust teams that start fast and get anointed unstoppable. Yeah it’s all gut vibes that can’t be measured with a stat sheet, but I don’t care. I think the Rams are going to choke against a team that has more fire to them.

On top of that, how often do these stunning offensive monsters actually win it all?

The 2000 Rams lost to the defensively dominant Patriots.
The 2007 Patriots lost to the defensively dominant Giants.
The 2013 Broncos lost to the defensively dominant Seahawks.
The 2015 Panthers lost to the defensively dominant Broncos.
The 2016 Falcons lost to themselves.

On top of that, there is always one top-seeded bye team every year that chokes at home. Not literally every year, but no playoffs go by without one good surprise win. With the top of the NFC in question, I’m picking the team with experience (Saints) and the team with the mojo and the defense (Bears) to take it farther than the flashy Rams. I can even see the Seahawks, who have found an identity, sneaking past them. Fuck, even the Cowboys seem to have found something in themselves, and the Eagles are still in it. Lastly, the Rams have zero home field advantage, which plays a role these late games. I don’t trust them.

I actually trust the Chiefs more, simply because Mahomes has what Goff doesn’t: the ability to make shit work when shit ain’t working. The Chiefs defense will cost them a chance to win it all but I trust that offense so much more to fight through adversity.

EDIT: Apologies for no comic Friday, I spent the past days in holiday transit/stress mode